Y’all. I have been looking forward to this MAFS Houston recap all week. I really tried to squeeze it in earlier, but I’ve had some sort of bug and I am sleeping all day and up all night. So, I am very excited to finally get to chat with you about this. I hope you will have a lot to say! OMG! IT IS TWO HOURS LONG. I’m tired already! I thought there were multiple reunion episodes. But, maybe this is just it?
It has been four months since decision day. Can I just tell you something about Banjo? If I am awake. I am on my laptop. So how does he always suddenly know when I start a recap and suddenly need to go outside the second I start typing? It never fails no matter how many times he has already been outside! Sorry. It’s just annoying.
Is ANYONE Still Together?
We start with Jose and Racheal. Kevin, the host, gets Jose to admit that he was pissed when he locked Racheal out of the house. This is going to be a long two hours of flashbacks. These two were sure they were done at that point. However, these two are probably going to be the only one who stay married for a significant amount of time. Oh wait! Maybe not. They brokeup! They stayed apart for a month or so but are now working on their marriage again. Racheal moved out because she didn’t feel at home living with Jose. It sounds like Racheal has moved in with her mother and still lives there. This whole season is a dud. They talk on the phone every night? But, this seems iffy. Summer Racheal went on a lot of trips without him. They are both still in love.
Next up, it’s the trainwreck known as Brett and Ryan. They have gone their separate ways with no bad blood. Brett has her boobs all the way out. It’s not cute. Oddly, Brett’s sister, Alexa, comes out. She seems to really like Brett. Then, she drops the bomb that Brett was seeing someone while they were still on the show. The spoilers said it started one month in and was well before the retreat. This is one of the many spoilers that have been out there regarding this cast. Brett is not the only one who was, or maybe is getting around. Brett denies it all. She’s lying. Ryan says he saw conversations between Brett and this other person. Brett continues to deny, deny, deny. They are still, “friends.”
Myrla & Gil What The Actual Fuck?
Up next, it is Myrla and Gil. They are both dressed to the nines and he is wearing red bottoms! He’s some kind of fashion plate now! He also seemed to be wearing nail polish. What do the guys at the fire house have to say about this! They seem happy but word is they are not. Gil finds out that for the first time that Myrla didn’t like all the teasing about being high maintenance and negative about everything. Where is the lie? Two weeks after decision day, Myrla ended the relationship. She talks about financial security being an issue. Gil points out he has an amazing pension plan (who those are hard to get these days) and he makes $100 more every two weeks than she does.
Then, she said the chemistry was not there. WHAT? She cried to Dr. Pepper about how in love she was with Gil!The spoiler for this pair is that Myrla was playing Gil the whole time. Also, there is a rumor that she was dating JOHNNY? Seriously? That can’t be true, can it? Gil feels duped by Myrla. He says he sold everything he owned except for his blender, his clothes and his dog to be with her. She let him do that knowing the whole time she was not in it for the long haul. Myrla says she was never in love with Gil. Gil is still in love with Myrla. He is heartbroken. She is such a bitch.
The Guys Chat With Kevin
We’ve only dealt with three of the five couples. However, up next for some inexplicable reason Kevin has a chat with all the husbands. The good news is that they all get along well and really like each other. We get a montage of Zack and Johnny crying. Johnny tries to justify running away from all his problems. Ryan was also kind of a runner. The guys were all shocked that Gil and Myrla spilt. It is weird to me that Johnny is sitting right next to Gil if the rumors are true. Kevin just asked Johnny about the split saying in his question that Johnny knows Myrla very well. So maybe they are just friends?
Damn, Gil is just sofa king hot. Zack is super impressed that Racheal and Jose are trying work things out. Myrla and Racheal are apparently also good friends and Ryan says that Myrla really liked it when Racheal was single. Myrla is just a problem child. For some reason, Johnny seems to be the marital counselor to Jose and Racheal. Johnny is apparently very close to both of them. Jose and Johnny have a very serious bromance happening. Zack and Ryan seem… confused about it. lol.
Michaela & Zack
Apparently, these two are in such a bad place they have to be interviewed separately. This was Michaela’s decision. She is a basketcase. Michaela seems like she realizes it at this point. Hopefully, she is on meds and getting therapy. Michaela’s sister comes out. She says both Michaela and Zack were very strong-headed. Both wanted to be right. Zack is backstage watching and losing his mind. Michaela says that after decision day she stayed a Zack’s place (apparently a “fancy building”) at his invitation. She says she was cooking, cleaning, and having sex with him. Zack is losing it backstage. She also claims she apologized to him for her behavior. Michaela says Zack played her.
Zack comes out on stage and she is watching backstage. Zack feels like things are his fault. He says Michaela seems to make it seem like he is trying to make her look bad, rather than taken responsibility for her own actions. Backstage, Michaela says she always takes responsibility for her own actions. Could we roll some footage of that? Because I’m not seeing it. Zack denies being intimate with her on their one month anniversary. Michaela says they were and that he said he would deny it. Now suddenly, Michaela wants to go out there, and Zack is not having it. He leaves when she arrives.
Next Time: We get to Bao and Johnny. Johnny blames Bao for all his tantrums? WTF? This is either the worst season ever or the best season ever depending on how you look at it. lol. NO ONE can stand their spouses. Oh and it looks like Myrla and Johnny ARE a thing. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?