Welcome to the penultimate recap of Winter House! After tonight, there is just one more episode left. How is that possible? I am praying to the Bravo gods to give us a reunion. There has been so much off screen drama with Lindsay and Austen, Craig and Paige dating, we need more! We begin this episode with the party from last week still raging. That gorgeous house is destroyed. Dear God. Paige asks Andrea about where he stands. He tells her the truth, that he wants to leave the house single but that he’s having a great time with her. She’s okayish with that. Everyone goes to bed completely drunk.
In her talking head, Lindsay says how amazing Jason is. She has spent too much time being distracted by idiots. YES GIRL! YES! Finally, she is seeing what we ALL see in Jason. A fine ass man who is sweet, can cook and isn’t an overt douchebag. Get it girl!
Skiing Her Way Into The Cooke Family
The next morning, Luke taps a tree. That could be taken both literally and figuratively because, Luke. But he’s actually tapping it for maple syrup. Everyone else gets ready to go skiing. Kyle’s parents are coming too! I love his parents. Since his family basically found Stowe and skiing, Amanda feels the pressure to learn to ski. As a born and bred New Englander, I admit I’ve never skied a day in my life. My kids have been snowboarding several times but that’s as far as we’ve gotten. I’m crying popculture tears realizing I’ll never be accepted in the Cooke family.
Kyle’s dad tells a cute story about how he fell several times on his first date with Kyle’s mom. They’re so supportive and will love Amanda, skier or not. Gabby is in her feelings about being rejected by Luke. She’s the self proclaimed Lone Ranger. She’s in a way better position than Ciara, who is still inexplicably into Austen. Paige, Amanda and Ciara discuss Andrea and Austen. Paige says it’s difficult but she won’t sleep with Andrea. She’s afraid they’ll never see each other again. She won’t give him the bragging rights medal of sleeping with her. THAT’S RIGHT GIRL! One thing I love about Paige is her confidence. Ciara is still gaga over Austen. Ewe. I’ll never understand it.
Send It To The Maximus
Back at the house, Lindsay and Jason shower together. I wish I could shower with Jason. (Purely platonic Husby, purely platonic). Julia receives flowers from her boyfriend. Nooky nooky happens with Ciara and Austen, Austen and Ciara, Kyle and Amanda. Thankfully there are no added sound effects because, gross. The next morning, Jason cooks. God he can’t get sexier!
Luke is planning a Viking party. Kyle says he works hard but will party harder. Everyone’s viking costumes arrive. Luke sets up a bunch of games outside. They divide into teams: Luke’s is the Great Heathen Army, Jason’s is The Skull Crushers. For some reason, Paige and Ciara are wearing bikinis. In the snow. Again, as a New Englander that is something I’ve never attempted. With all the shirts off and bikinis in 30 degree weather, they seem to be playing ‘who gets hypothermia first’. Other games happen.The Skull Crushers win. Austen, however, loses in life as Madison texts him. He stomps off into his bedroom to brood. As Vikings do.
Going Mad For Madison
In the hot tub, Ciara calls Austen as he isn’t in the hot tub with the housemates. He is too busy pouting in his room to join in the festivities. Lindsay and Julia discuss the fabulousness of Jason. THIS is a convo I’m into! Ugh we switch gears to Julia and her boyfriend. He’s older. That’s literally all we get. Austen tells Craig about Madison’s text. She had a seizure while cooking for her son, Hudson. Hudson called an ambulance for his mom, which must have been terrifying. Craig doesn’t have sympathy for her. He thinks she’s an evil sorceress who won’t let Austen go. Craig tells Austen not to be honest with Ciara about the text. He says it will scare her off. Listen, at this point he could murder her beloved cat and she would still be into him. I just don’t get it.
Holy shit, Jason deep fried turkey legs for dinner! They look amazing. I need Jason to come and cook for me. Platonically.In the shower. Austen gets angry when Julia questions Andrea about his intentions with Paige.He riles up the whole table, effectively ruining the beautiful dinner that beautiful Jason cooked. Fuck Austen so hard for this! Ciara storms off. Austen and Ciara talk. She’s weirded out but cuddles with him anyway. He tells her that Madison haunts him. He’s all messed up over it. Ciara asks if they are still in communication. That ends the episode. Cliffhanger y’all!
Bonus Content For My Dear TT Family
Next week on the last episode of Winter House: More drinking and partying. Lindsay wants to take Jason home. Paige isn’t feeling Andrea anymore. Lindsay tells Amanda that Austen isn’t over Madison. Amanda relays that to Ciara. Amanda and Austen have a huge fight. Julia eats all the cheese whilst they fight.
BONUS CONTENT! Because I love you all soooo much, I am watching WWHL so you don’t have to. You’re welcome 😉 Amanda and Kyle are guests. Brian Baumgartner from The Office is the bartender! So cool. Amanda looks gorgeous. She’s wearing this white dress with a white tuxedo jacket (?). Stunning. Amanda says she sees a chance that Austen and Ciara can be a couple. Ewe. They are asked to spill the tea from their wedding: 200 people came. Paige and Craig may or may not have gone together to the wedding. No tea was spilled lol.
Andy asks Amanda how she can put up with Kyle’s drunkenness. Amanda says she pulls off being drunk better, but she finds him endearing. She plays a game called defend your husband. She cannot defend most of his bad behavior. Andy asks her if he can defend Kyle from cheating on her. OMG. That’s low. And awkward. Also asking them about their sex life in front of Amanda’s mom feels gross too. Amanda loves Craig. Amanda is asked why she was upset about Lindsay telling Paige about Andrea. She says she looked to Lindsay for advice but that it blew up in her face.
Kyle tells us Lindsay and Carl are not together but they could be a good match. Amanda seems to think that Lindsay and Carl could happen. Amanda does not talk to Hannah. Andy seems overly rude tonight. I don’t know if he doesn’t like them or if he doesn’t like Amanda’s mom in the audience. That’s really it. Oh, Amanda is on Lindsay’s side with the whole Lindsay/Austen beef. That’s a wrap! We’ve been really partying in the comments. Madison even stopped by! Lol. Thank you for reading. See you in the comments!