BY: POPCULTUREKELLY
Welcome to the penultimate recap of Winter House! After tonight, there is just one more episode left. How is that possible? I am praying to the Bravo gods to give us a reunion. There has been so much off screen drama with Lindsay and Austen, Craig and Paige dating, we need more! We begin this episode with the party from last week still raging. That gorgeous house is destroyed. Dear God. Paige asks Andrea about where he stands. He tells her the truth, that he wants to leave the house single but that he’s having a great time with her. She’s okayish with that. Everyone goes to bed completely drunk.
In her talking head, Lindsay says how amazing Jason is. She has spent too much time being distracted by idiots. YES GIRL! YES! Finally, she is seeing what we ALL see in Jason. A fine ass man who is sweet, can cook and isn’t an overt douchebag. Get it girl!
Skiing Her Way Into The Cooke Family
The next morning, Luke taps a tree. That could be taken both literally and figuratively because, Luke. But he’s actually tapping it for maple syrup. Everyone else gets ready to go skiing. Kyle’s parents are coming too! I love his parents. Since his family basically found Stowe and skiing, Amanda feels the pressure to learn to ski. As a born and bred New Englander, I admit I’ve never skied a day in my life. My kids have been snowboarding several times but that’s as far as we’ve gotten. I’m crying popculture tears realizing I’ll never be accepted in the Cooke family.
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Kyle’s dad tells a cute story about how he fell several times on his first date with Kyle’s mom. They’re so supportive and will love Amanda, skier or not. Gabby is in her feelings about being rejected by Luke. She’s the self proclaimed Lone Ranger. She’s in a way better position than Ciara, who is still inexplicably into Austen. Paige, Amanda and Ciara discuss Andrea and Austen. Paige says it’s difficult but she won’t sleep with Andrea. She’s afraid they’ll never see each other again. She won’t give him the bragging rights medal of sleeping with her. THAT’S RIGHT GIRL! One thing I love about Paige is her confidence. Ciara is still gaga over Austen. Ewe. I’ll never understand it.
Send It To The Maximus
Back at the house, Lindsay and Jason shower together. I wish I could shower with Jason. (Purely platonic Husby, purely platonic). Julia receives flowers from her boyfriend. Nooky nooky happens with Ciara and Austen, Austen and Ciara, Kyle and Amanda. Thankfully there are no added sound effects because, gross. The next morning, Jason cooks. God he can’t get sexier!
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Luke is planning a Viking party. Kyle says he works hard but will party harder. Everyone’s viking costumes arrive. Luke sets up a bunch of games outside. They divide into teams: Luke’s is the Great Heathen Army, Jason’s is The Skull Crushers. For some reason, Paige and Ciara are wearing bikinis. In the snow. Again, as a New Englander that is something I’ve never attempted. With all the shirts off and bikinis in 30 degree weather, they seem to be playing ‘who gets hypothermia first’. Other games happen.The Skull Crushers win. Austen, however, loses in life as Madison texts him. He stomps off into his bedroom to brood. As Vikings do.
Going Mad For Madison
In the hot tub, Ciara calls Austen as he isn’t in the hot tub with the housemates. He is too busy pouting in his room to join in the festivities. Lindsay and Julia discuss the fabulousness of Jason. THIS is a convo I’m into! Ugh we switch gears to Julia and her boyfriend. He’s older. That’s literally all we get. Austen tells Craig about Madison’s text. She had a seizure while cooking for her son, Hudson. Hudson called an ambulance for his mom, which must have been terrifying. Craig doesn’t have sympathy for her. He thinks she’s an evil sorceress who won’t let Austen go. Craig tells Austen not to be honest with Ciara about the text. He says it will scare her off. Listen, at this point he could murder her beloved cat and she would still be into him. I just don’t get it.
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Holy shit, Jason deep fried turkey legs for dinner! They look amazing. I need Jason to come and cook for me. Platonically.In the shower. Austen gets angry when Julia questions Andrea about his intentions with Paige.He riles up the whole table, effectively ruining the beautiful dinner that beautiful Jason cooked. Fuck Austen so hard for this! Ciara storms off. Austen and Ciara talk. She’s weirded out but cuddles with him anyway. He tells her that Madison haunts him. He’s all messed up over it. Ciara asks if they are still in communication. That ends the episode. Cliffhanger y’all!
Bonus Content For My Dear TT Family
Next week on the last episode of Winter House: More drinking and partying. Lindsay wants to take Jason home. Paige isn’t feeling Andrea anymore. Lindsay tells Amanda that Austen isn’t over Madison. Amanda relays that to Ciara. Amanda and Austen have a huge fight. Julia eats all the cheese whilst they fight.
BONUS CONTENT! Because I love you all soooo much, I am watching WWHL so you don’t have to. You’re welcome 😉 Amanda and Kyle are guests. Brian Baumgartner from The Office is the bartender! So cool. Amanda looks gorgeous. She’s wearing this white dress with a white tuxedo jacket (?). Stunning. Amanda says she sees a chance that Austen and Ciara can be a couple. Ewe. They are asked to spill the tea from their wedding: 200 people came. Paige and Craig may or may not have gone together to the wedding. No tea was spilled lol.
Andy asks Amanda how she can put up with Kyle’s drunkenness. Amanda says she pulls off being drunk better, but she finds him endearing. She plays a game called defend your husband. She cannot defend most of his bad behavior. Andy asks her if he can defend Kyle from cheating on her. OMG. That’s low. And awkward. Also asking them about their sex life in front of Amanda’s mom feels gross too. Amanda loves Craig. Amanda is asked why she was upset about Lindsay telling Paige about Andrea. She says she looked to Lindsay for advice but that it blew up in her face.
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Kyle tells us Lindsay and Carl are not together but they could be a good match. Amanda seems to think that Lindsay and Carl could happen. Amanda does not talk to Hannah. Andy seems overly rude tonight. I don’t know if he doesn’t like them or if he doesn’t like Amanda’s mom in the audience. That’s really it. Oh, Amanda is on Lindsay’s side with the whole Lindsay/Austen beef. That’s a wrap! We’ve been really partying in the comments. Madison even stopped by! Lol. Thank you for reading. See you in the comments!
Thanks for the recap! We too were surprised it is ending so soon and appalled at how they treated that gorgeous house. What does Bravo do, come in and replace the flooring? I thought we’d see more of Paige and Craig, but all we’ve so far is that he’s starting to like being alone.
Thank you for reading and commenting! Wasn’t that horrible??? That gorgeous house just trashed. I’m sure they have to replace a lot in the houses they rent from 😂 I’m excited to see how they end up together. I hope we get the deets soon!
You summed it up nicely. They sure do know how to trash a house, don’t they. I did watch WWHL, and my impression of Amanda at this point is that she’s not really that bright. Kyle is just gross.
Soooo trashed 😂My heart hurt for the owners. Hopefully they get fully compensated and a little extra! What did you think of Andy? He seemed really peeved to me.
I love your updates! And I’m disappointed the show is over so quickly. They should have done 17 episodes – one for each day of the vacation,
The house was on the market and sold last spring. If you look at the photos from the listing, which of course I cannot find now, the place was seriously dated (circa 1970 decor) so I imagine that what we saw was temporary cheap updates and the new owner plans on a major overhaul. Kyle has already said somewhere, maybe his Instagram, that the basement rooms were set up with temporary walls to make enough space for everyone and in the listing photos there is one giant basement family room with the fireplace that is in Luke’s room so you can see it was chopped up with fake bedrooms.
And one little thing for future updates from a fellow New Englander who also doesn’t, and won’t ski. Ewe is a female sheep. The word for disgust is ew. Awe is shockingly stunned. Aw is “oh, isn’t that sweet?”
Yes, you can make fun of me and say I’m the grammar police, I don’t mind.
Or you could just READ THE COMMENTING RULES!
WHAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO IS INSULT A GUEST WRITER ON MY SITE. So either get clear on the commenting rules or get the fuck off my site. TIA.
Delete it then. I didn’t think it was insulting.
Then you are a pompous fool. Welcome to the WLS. I TOLD you to read the commenting rules…NO ONE speaks to my guest recappers like that. NO ONE.
I think Andrea is a vision Paige always thought she wanted. Tall, dark, handsome, Italian. I imagine the producers knew Paige would be very into him. Especially being trapped in the bubble of that mountain house fueled by alcohol. I mean, if the producers found my dream man. Larry David, and trapped me with him for two neurotic weeks And he showed me attention, affection, you better believe I would be planning our wedding. I would tell him at the intro that I’m a ring size 5. But then at the end of the two weeks, just like Paige, I would realize what attracted me to him in the first place, is why I actually don’t like him after all 🤦🏻♀️
I would bet that the owners are well-compensated for the use of their house, as are the owners of the houses used in Summer House. BUT how gross that these entitled imbeciles do so much damage to beautiful properties. They must thing of themselves as rock stars from the ’70s!
This show went way too fast.
Aw crap, I can’t believe it’s almost over already.
The Great Nordic Games lmao….It only consisted of 2 games! Log toss and tug of war!
However I did love their costumes.
Idiot Luke trying to tap a tree….Was it even a Maple tree? Was he gonna hang around for 4 to 6 weeks to gather the sap? I know I always sound like I hate Luke, but I actually don’t. I actually kinda enjoy his ridiculousness.I really don’t think he is a bad guy….Just oddly obsessed with accessories and looking like a maly man who likes to do all things
And REALLY? Did Ciera NOT hear it when Austin told her that when Lindsay told him she was in love with him was way too much for him and not at all what he needed right now? And now she thinks she is in love? WTF is it with these idiots? Sure, when you’re away on vacation it’s easy to feel like that. It isn’t real life you dunce. You cannot tell if you are in love with anyone unless you have had at least a few arguments ffs!
UGH proofread!
Not maly man….Manly man!
I really liked how Luke treated Hannah after she expressed her feelings for him. Even though he’s not into her romantically he still made her breakfast and was welcoming her on his Nordic team. I also liked how he backed off of Julia immediately when she told him she wasn’t interested.
I’m loving the recaps so thank you! I just caught up on my DVR. I’m also disappointed that next week is it but then again, the trip was 17 days and the action took off immediately so it might have gotten redundant. I’m just happy there was a Bravo show I looked forward to (hasn’t happened in a while).
I really think Austen loves being a victim. It’s a great way not to grow as a person and Ciara is a care giver (nurse) so I think with the fast pace, she didn’t see what was happening. I think she’s wonderful so I’m trying to give the girl a break. Paige got wise real fast and I admire her confidence and knowing her worth. Of course Lindsay would rebound with great guy Jason and then end up back with Carl. Ugh. I’m glad I’m older. Dating still sucks but I don’t have the need anymore. Lol.
I really wish Craig came in single. Would’ve loved to see the relationship with Paige. But I think they are smarter keeping everyone guessing.
Again .. great recap and bonuses!!! You hit every point and I find myself saying “yes guurl” out loud while reading!
Cannot BELIEVE we went into this episode with a chiron telling us ‘9 days left’ and next week is the finale? I guess that’s one ep for the last 4 days, i feel ripped off! I thought we’d actually see the beginning of Craig and Paige. I personally loved this fluffy little show, it’s just fun and silly with a bit of evil Madison thrown in. Thanks for recapping, Kelly. I don’t comment much, but I’ve read them all