I’m not overly excited for this Vanderpump Rules recap. But, I need a distraction. I finally made it to the grocery store today and by the time I was at the register I was unwell. Didn’t seem like anxiety. I needed help putting everything on the conveyor belt. š I may have to go to one of those walk-in clinics tomorrow. š #Petridish In actual Pump Rules news. Sandoval has formed a for member cover band. He’s the lead singer and apparently he can actually sing. And they are making an album. Not a low budget video. Good for Sandoval. He’s also trying to get back into acting. He’s one of the few that has businesses and plans for once this shit show gets cancelled.
Noses, Assholes, & Eggs
We begin with James and Racquel visiting Lala. It’s their first time meeting baby Ocean and James comes with the sweetest gifts including a pair of baby Uggs. Then, James catches her up on what she missed at Charli’s party. Apparently, Racquel passed out on the floor. Actually, it looks like Racquel is still at Ariana’s house. She clearly stayed there all night because James could not get her up. Ariana lets Racquel know she needs to set boundaries with James. Meanwhile, James whines to Lala about the possibility of having to live with Racquel if her nose isn’t fixed. He seems to leave out the part that it is his fault. Lala tells him he needs to lay off the nose situation. Later, James and Lala talk about it again. He’s still an asshole.
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The Toms go visit LVP and tell her that their business partner, Greg is losing faith in them. Perhaps don’t drink mushroom tea and do drugs when you are supposed to be working on the business plan? LVP realizes that these guys are idiots, not entrepreneurs. She tries to get them back on track. I’m not optimistic.
In other news of the weird, Ariana and Scheana went on a girl date where they both had their eggs frozen. Scheana wants them both to use surrogates. Where is Scheana getting this money from? Katie texts Scheana an invitation to her party. Ariana says this is just a (production) ruse to get Scheana and Lala in the same room. Where’s the lie?
The Deja Vu Of Your Future Fantasy???
The Tom’s take Katie to their bar to see it for the first time. I find it hard to believe she has not been there before. It seems she has invited herself to the pitch meeting and Sandoval is not thrilled. He says she thinks she is going to have input, when in fact it’s just “Bring your wife to work day.” Katie is impressed with the bar. Sandoval order $1,700 worth of lights without consulting his partner.
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He is not happy. Then, Sandoval reads a word salad of a mission statement that doesn’t makes sense. He clearly uses phrases like “deja vu” with no idea what it means.Ā Katie tries to explain things to the Toms and the partner loves her suggestions. So, the partner says to rewrite the statement and let Katie oversee it. The partner says Katie could switch places with them both and be is partner. Sandoval is super pissed.
Lala Has No Idea How To Apologize
Moving on to Lala’s party. She asks about the Tom’s meeting with Greg, their third partner. Sandoval said the meeting went well. Katie chimes in to say that Greg was most impressed with her. Sandoval is salty about that. Ariana says she has never even seen the bar. That’s just so odd to me. Ariana and Racquel talk to Scheana about her conflict with Lala. Lala comes to drag her away for a one on one chat. Lala tries once again to play the martyr. Scheana isn’t really buying it. They both have very high eyebrows that make it seem like they are both shocked. That said, if I was younger I would consider doing that. Somehow they both hug it out despite nothing being resolved and no apology from Lala.
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Then, Lala wants to talk to Brock. Brock is not receptive to Lala. Lala says she is an acquired taste like a fine wine. More like swill. There is no forgiveness from Brock and no apology from Lala. Why can’t this bitch admit that she was wrong and hurtful and apologize? It’s not that hard. Later, Scheana, Brock and Charli go to an exercise class. They talk about Lala. Brock and Charli are not interested in reconciling with Lala.
Schwartz Is Broke
Schwartzy goes over to LVP’s to get a tiered serving tray. Only he has no idea what they are called. Eventually, Lisa takes him down to the basement. He’s never been down there and asks what she used it for. She says she hides all the dead bodies there. Then, she opens a door and says, “Kyle? Are you in here?” No sweetie, she is not, she’s making bank on RHOBH and RHUGT. While you have to film with children and morons. LVP puts on a dog mask and asks if he wants to do her doggy style. Because, that is perfectly normal.
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Schwartz says that his parents are going through a lot. They are separated. He can’t afford to send home a few hundred dollars a month? Why is he so broke? Where does the money go? Meanwhile, Sandoval’s parents are helping him fund the bar. This is what happens when young people are suddenly given money on a reality show. Later, the gang (minus Lala) go out to a bar. Schwartz and Katie talk about his gambling and finances. Charli amuses me. She has a Wiki Feets site where apparently people rate your feet. She suggests they all sell foot photos to pay for Racquel’s nose. It’s toes for nose campaign!
Lala arrives and BROCK apologies to HER? WHY? And they hug it out. So weird. I hate Lauren. He invites her to his birthday. She accepts. Lala moves on to Sandoval and Charli to try to make amends. Sandoval is not having it. THANK YOU!
What the actual hell is this show? Every so often, I think about giving this latest VPR season a try. But then I read these recaps, and I wonder what’s the point of watching this absolute shitshow any more.
It’s bad. But this episode didn’t suck AS MUCH as most of them do. But yeah, don’t bother.
I haven’t watched in years and I happen to tune in last night. First, they all look so OLD, and not in a good way. Then with all the “enhancements” I didn’t recognize a couple of them for quite a bit. It is so sad to see these people hanging on for dear life instead of growing up and getting on with it. The story lines really weren’t much different than the last time I viewed. Tamara thanks for taking a hit for your readers by recapping but I think you could probably put your time to better use like catching up on you sleep.
The recaps are better than the show.
I still love both Toms and Ariana. Rachel and Charli are my favorites of new people on Bravo.
Get rid of the babies and mamas and get back to the RESTAURANT drama. EVERY restaurant Iāve ever worked at could be a sitcom! And a soap,opera!
Literally, Charli is the only one I think actually works there at this point. And Racquel. Once they were forced to pay the OGs big salaries, they all just fake worked there for a bit and then stopped.
They really missed the boat by not going in a new direction. “VPR 2 – the next generation”.
James is an ass! He was brutal about her looks being why heās into her. She better think long and hard. Iād hate to be married to someone like him and get breast cancer, need a mastectomy, or have colon issues and need a colostomy bag. He is making it clear there will be no āin sickness and in health.ā It made me sick listening to him.
James is pushing thirty and has the brain of a 15 year old.
Oh wow, TT. I had no idea that James was that old. You are completely right! I think the ‘California sober’ is getting in the way of him completely maturing. Wonder why he is afraid of growing up. It makes me wonder why Raquel would waste her time with him.
Also, can you even imagine James and Raquel having a baby and for some reason the baby having a birth defect that affected its appearance? Wonder how that would go for him in his pea brain. He really needs to lay off the ‘California sober’ routine and unravel/deal with his issues. He has no business being engaged. He can’t even take care of himself…which is super clear since he seems to need weed every day as part of his routine. So sad.
My favorite part was Brock sewing. Good for him. James & Layla are horrible people no matter how much they tell people theyāve grown. I hope Racquel changes her mind & doesnāt marry that jerk but Iām afteaid sheās in to deep. Sheās so patient but sheās going to regret marrying him & dumbing herself down for his ego.
That sewing was adorable and endearing.
Wouldnāt it be great to have a collab with Sewing Down South?
It’s not appointment viewing for me but I enjoy the show so much more without Jax & Stassi.
YES – not missing them at all. Although Stassi’s boyfriend was kind of a hoot.
Iād watch the toms, Ariana, Charlie, Rachel and LVP and be fine with that. I enjoy sheana and Brock with baby story line but donāt need any other babies. The James is a jerk storyline is so clearly manufactured by production for ābad boy Jamesā drama. So I ignore it knowing it will really all end well. Rachel will get her nose and James will say sorry. As for Lala and Katieā¦just write them out of the show. I do not need them, their babies, eggs, or failed baby making attempt storyās. Iām done with them. Thanks TT!
Sandoval is so arrogant. He clearly isn’t prepared to open a new bar. I just can’t stand him anymore. Everyone’s story line is so boring. Where is Peter? What just the 6 couples? This season is terrible. I hope the show is cancelled.
Wait. Baack upp. LVP said WHAT? Doggy what? My my my…how the….š
She’s kinda pathetic. They haven’t got a new young man this year who’s contracted into saying how much he’s into her, her face was so blurred in the first couple of episodes and I’m just waiting for the episode where she makes the excuse to be seen in her bra. She’s going full blown Norma Desmond.
OMG, I hate James & Lala more than ever. Loved Brock sewing baby clothes. He seems like a genuinely nice person. Tom/Tom clearly had no idea what a mission statement is supposed to be and didn’t seem to feel a need to ask or research it before they drank mushroom tea and went off on a tangent. What is it with Tom Sandoval & lights? First he decorates his house with lights that Arianna hates & then shells out $1700 for restaurant lights without discussing it with their partner? I felt sorry for Schwartz when he was telling LVP why he’s so stressed out. He’s sweet for wanting to help his family but money stretches only so far when you don’t really have a job or much money coming in between filming seasons. I’m guessing Katie is going to have a much larger role with the new place than Tom Sandoval would like.
And poor Schwartz will forever be stuck between them trying to explain what he thinks and then backing over it and trying to twist what he’s saying to make both of them happy. I feel for him…. he obviously a peace-maker who doesn’t want conflict with his loved ones and sees both sides of every argument. We need people like him in the world. It would be nice if Katie and Sandoval could find a way forward that doesn’t constantly put Schwartz in the middle. There’s probably plenty of work to go around if they could figure out what each one brings to the table and not be arguing all the time. Sandoval is the dreamer… let him outline what he wants and then Katie figure out the practical details.
I think with the new partner, Sandoval may not have any choice but to handle it the way you suggested.
Canāt watch the show – itās unbearable. Can grit it through TT recaps (no disrespect – your recaps are EVERYTHING! Itās just the show) HOWEVER I move almost immediately to the comments. Most commentators on this site are awesome and I love reading the input of others.
Keep it up everyone!
I wish that there would be a spin-off with Sandoval and Ariana. Something like āAnother Roadside Attractionā (nod to Tom Robbins). Sandoval and Ariana would take day trips on the bike and longer trips in a vintage trailer, visiting odd places, interesting people, cool festivals, etc. Sandoval would, of course, had the perfect outfit for everything. Ariana would be driving the bike and Sandoval in the sidecar.
I like the idea of Tom and Arianna doing somethingā¦ maybe it could be a show where they help people throw elaborate theme parties with special drink recipes, decorations and (of course) costumes š
Do you know Johnny Bananas from the MTV Challenge series? He has a show, I think called First Look. Itās a travel show and heās really good on it! Comes on after SNL in my area.
God no! Sandoval is insufferable!
Well the show is officially off my DVR schedule. Your recaps will do just fine. I think the longer this show is on, it’s not that Tom’s swimmers don’t work from his drug and drinking use, it’s from the constant hit to the balls. Either end it, break away with everyone else suggestions, Tom and Ariana go traveling, cutting Lala, James and Katie for good, it needs to die. It’s getting as bad as Auston rambling on about Madison, when shes I dunno 3 men out from his storyline.
Havenāt watched in years but read every recap. This show is so past being done I donāt think you could even stick the fork into it!
They literally already got cancelled once. But Bravo Suits, the complete idiots they are didn’t have any other show in the hopper. I doubt they do now either. They keep wanting to bang the same rusty nail. Apparently, THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO NEXT. This show is over. Housewives across all franchises without criminals is dying fast. They have no new ideas and most people with brains are not even around anymore to watch things like Project Runway. In their defense, shows like Imposters or whatever it was called was GREAT! But their audience is not exactly the kind of people who like anything other than watching elderly women brawl and shit themselves. That is what the audience is now. It will be hard to attract a better viewership now. They are basically screwed.
I want that decorating show with Thom Felica and Carson Kressley back. Was that on Bravo? Not Queer Eye, but the new one where they each did a project and Carson wss learning from Thom. I loved those Oklahoma shows too… The one that was like Housewives, but funny, and then the one focused on the design business. I forget her name, but that show was great!
Include the landscape team in that too, love all those show. They did have quality at some time in the past, but back to 52weeks of below deck, and housewives!
Tom Schwartz’ family is very poor. When he got married, his friends surprised him by bringing his triplet brothers out from Minnesota to attend the wedding. His friends had to buy suits for the brothers as they did no own any nor have money to buy any. No mention was made of his parents. I had assumed they had passed away.
Now learning that his parents are still alive, it’s odd that they didn’t attend his wedding. Why didn’t the friends fly out the two parents instead of the three brothers? Or fly them all out.
Sandoval probably wanted to dress the brothers in suits… it’s his favorite thing in the world. He did dress them… I’m saying that was his motivation. He got to surprise his friend and put on a fashion show.
Oh wow, TT. I had no idea that James was that old. You are completely right! I think the ‘California sober’ is getting in the way of him completely maturing. Wonder why he is afraid of growing up. It makes me wonder why Raquel would waste her time with him.
It’s not so much growing up its dealing with the stuff that lead to your addict tendencies, James has never resolved. Where do you start, we’ve seen the how nutty his family can be! Raquel is a sweet girl, a fixer, probably has some family issues based on her BG, her sister is her cousinš¤ she wants stability, why him, who knows!