Oh YAY? It’s time for another RHOP Recap for part two of an inexplicable four part reunion. The only thing I am really interested in is part four where Nicki Minaj shows up to read everyone for filth. I’m hoping she shows up at the end of part three but I’m not optimistic about that.
Candiace Tries and Fails To Defend Her Ghetto Behavior
So tonight we start with Candiace and Mia going at it for Candiace saying “Your mama is low budget.” Personally, I feel like this is a whole lot of drama over nothing Candiace’s reckless mouth has said way more terrible things than a “yo mama” joke. But I do understand Mia being offended. I can talk about my mama all I want to, but YOU cannot. Mia tells Candiace to watch her motherfucking back. Mia tells Andy that Candiace’s ass kicking is well over do and she the one to do it. I’m rather anti violence myself, but I am all for someone finally giving Candiace the ass whooping she keeps on begging for. Again, don’t come for my mama.
We get a montage of Candiace’s reckless mouth. Wow Mia actually wears a size twelve shoe. That will hurt when she finally sticks it up Candiace’s asshole. Here in the south we all have big feet and most of us aren’t into wearing shoes unless we have to. lol. That’s why it is fun to go shoe shopping in the north. When I went to Seattle, every shoe size nine and above was fully available and mostly on clearance. It’s a region difference in climate. Yankees have smaller feet than us Southern girls. Again, the better to kick your ass with. Lol. You go Mia. Candiace tries to defend her constant body shaming. Andy keeps coming for Candiace’s behavior. And none of the other housewives defend her.
Andy Comes For Mia
Andy says that Mia has become a social media disaster. She blames her social media manager. That is bullshit. I don’t follow her on Twitter and have missed all of this. She apparently has come hard for Candiace, which I could care less about. But, then Askale says that Mia has posted a lot of mean tweets about Askale. That makes no sense at all. All Askale does is sit there and look pretty and has had no significant issues with anyone. Then, the break for a one hour lunch break. Wendy goes to check on Candiace. Is that Mia’s nipple fully exposed and hanging out of her dress?
After lunch, it’s on to Karen and Gizelle’s relationship. Or lack thereof. They both have trashed each other over the season. Wendy also gets into it with Gizelle for saying horrible thing about her family. They still have some pent up anger but eventually they work things out. Gizelle cries for what is apparently the first time she has done that on TV. She was talking about how kind that Karen was to her kids at the Reasonably Shady party. These two hug it out and are ready to move forward. YAY! That makes me happy!
Candiace Is A Sad Excuse For A Human
It’s time to move on to Ashley and way too much pregnancy talk. She talks about Michael wanting to do movies. The fans think he wants to do porn. Ashley doesn’t confirm or deny that. She also has her mojo back sexually. Gizelle asks if that means they will be including other ladies. Gizelle said it as a dig, but Ashley responds with, “I’m not ruling that out.” I wish these people would worry less about where Ashley is getting her itch scratch and with whom and focus on their own frigidity. Candiace tries to defend body shaming Ashley’s postpartum body.
Candiace wants to deflect her behavior with colorism? How does that work? Candiace isn’t much darker than Ashley. All of them seem light-skinned to me except for Wendy who is a bit darker than the others. This is ridiculous. Candiace is crying for no reason other than to do her triangle tissue thing. I guess that Candiace is crying because Ashley gave a statement in support of Monique. Everyone should have given a statement in support of Monique but Ashley was the only one brave enough to do it.
Why Is This Reunion Four Episodes!?
Wendy goes through all of her surgeries. But she cautions women to got to a board certified doctor who has experience. Wendy says that if the women had not attacked her about her surgery she would have liked to have a conversation with them. Everyone argues about the new Zen Wen after season one of being Professor Wendy. Wendy denies that she rehearses her reads. On to the one wick or three week candle war. This is just delaying me getting to RHOSLC. Let’s have some substance.
Now we have to talk about Wendy’s marriage and cheating rumors about Eddie. The women say that the rumors were on a blog that makes shit up. Hmm, was it the one that shall not be named here? That would be my guess. Wendy’s issue was that that blog is probably read by a few hundred people, but for the women on the show to bring it up on the show? Now “millions” lol of people have heard about it. Gizelle also said that she wondered if the plastic surgery was to overcompensate for the (fake) rumors. She ends with, “You had a whole tummy tuck, did you keep Jamal?” I love when Wen is not so Zen.
Next week the husbands appear. Dorothy contributes via phone. And Brown Dick is not pleased. Then, Andy Cohen goes to prep Nicki Minaj for the show.