Y’all, I am so excited to do this MAFS Houston Recap! It’s DECISION DAY! IT’S DECISION DAY! Thanks for not spoiling me on the ending. I’ve been trying to sneak it in early all week, but of course this is the week where there was a lot of tea to spill and major recaps to get done. Which was GREAT! But I am dying to get to this finale!
Myrla & Gil
It looks like this is the first couple we are going to hear from. I’ve got to fast forward through the relationship recaps. I’m too excited to get to the good part! Of course Myrla arrives in Louis Vuitton boots. Gil arrives in a powder blue suit looking better than ever! Drool. Myrla starts complaining right away. She said the wedding day was terrible. She hates meeting lots of people. When they ask about intimacy, Myrla says they have not consummated the marriage yet. Gil says that they have. Why would Myrla want to lie about that? That’s suspect.
Then, Pastor Cal asks about her wedding ring. She says she doesn’t wear it because it is ugly. Oh Gil, we all though she had grown but clearly she has not. She’s still very materialistic, and rude. And she lies. Their financial differences are still a huge issue. Myrna says she wants to stay married. Gil talks about their differences and then tells her that loves her and wants to stay married. That’s one! Will there be any more?
Bao & Johnny
OMG! I thought for sure they would be last! Here we go! Bao looks stunning in her red gown. The perfect dress to make him regret it when she hopefully dumps him. Johnny is stunting for the cameras. At least Johnny acknowledges that he has learned not to run way. That most have occurred off camera. He’s been running the entire time! Bao actually says pretty much the same thing.
Johnny looks confused as she is telling him this. Johnny says that he listens and never raises his voice. He does apologize for gossiping about her with her “best friend.” Bao was betrayed by both of them. Holy Crap! Johnny goes first and he says yes! Dump him, Bao! And she does. YES! He’s shook. Was marriage that bad he asks? YES, ASSHOLE! It was! You eviscerated her every other day!
Brett & Ryan
I’m super sure this is two “NOs”. They start out talking about how much fun they have had together. They speak highly of each other. Brett says Ryan is a respectful and good guy. Dr. Pepper comes straight for Ryan and asks how a “respectful and good guy” like him gets on a dating app before the marriage is over. Brett gives Ryan a non-apology, apology. The psychologist asks him why he did that. Dr. Pepper says the “not my type” excuse doesn’t fly with her. He didn’t give it a chance. They both want a divorce. I always forget how short Dr. Pepper is. I doubt she is even five feet tall.
Michaela & Zack
This marriage needs to end. I don’t wish divorce on anyone, but Zack needs to run. They started out great! But as soon as things got serious, the fights were vicious. Michaela needs anger management, or medication, or both. I thought Zack was the issue at first. But, nope! It’s Michaela. Zach randomly pulls out a script to read. It basically says he would not have changed a thing about the past eight weeks.
He thanks her for loving him and says he loves her too. Zack says he is happy and thankful. They are both crying. Zack says outside of his mom, she is the most amazing woman he knows. HUH?The experts are confused about what this sudden outpouring of love by both of them is all about. Michaela wants to stay married. Zach wants to get a divorce. The experts look shocked. He basically says what he said at the retreat. He wants to get divorce and then work things out with Michaela. The experts say he is not making sense. He says divorce means he is rejecting the past. But, he still wants to work on the relationship. Yeah, that’s not how it works. They’re done.
Racheal & Jose
These two started out like gangbusters. They could not keep their hands off of each other. But, Jose’s domineering personality quickly got old for free spirit Racheal. And they began to have explosive fights after he locked her out of their apartment. And they don’t agree on a travel budget. That would be a dealbreaker for me. Travel is number one in my budget. I am always saving up for it. Jose says yes.
But, Racheal says no. Ah! She faked me out! Jose was nervous too. But she said yes! That’s TWO! I think they will be fine.
The couples meet briefly at a bar to find out what everyone’s decision was a day or two later. Racheal says that she had to say yes because she Ubered there and needed a ride home. Their couple name is Rosé! I love that Gil announces they are also staying married and one more time lets us know they are getting it in. LOL. Zack tries to explain his dumb plan. But, but this point, Michaela is down with it. OMG! Johnny is lying his ass off to the other couples. He says he went there with the intent to say no but when he walked into the room, “things just go into overdrive.” He cannot bear to admit that he said yes and got shot down. I love Bao. She said it was too little to late. I hope Bao finds someone great. She deserves it.