How is it already time for another Winter House recap? Time is flying y’all! This week on Hot Drunk People begins with Jason cooking. Jason cooks too! WHY ISN’T HE THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER MAN IN THE HOUSE? These bitches be cray! Paige laments to Ciara that Andrea hasn’t taken her out on a date. Austen recaps his date to Craig. Craig is just happy Austen isn’t bitching about Madison. Ciara tells Paige that she’s starting to fall for Austen. UGH. Ciara cries because she’s so scared to fall for him. Welp, she should be. He’s horrible. Julia apologizes to Gabby for their conversation last week going south. Julia promises to be more aware of Gabby’s feelings. Gabby accepts her apology.
Paige worries that in her whole six months of dating, not one of her dates have fallen in love with her. She’s feeling insecure about Andrea, which she should be. He’s the fuck boy of all fuck boys. She wants a man to get to know her beyond her looks. Not to sound like an asshole, but is her pool even that deep? She and Ciara have the most vapid, shallow conversations. On Summer House it was the same with her and Hannah. There doesn’t seem to be much depth to her, which is fine. She’s snarky, shallow and amusing. I just don’t know what she expects men to find with her.
Shawty Get Low, Low, Low, Low Country Boil
Craig and Austen bought food for southern-ish low country boil. Lindsay and Jason go off to talk. Lindsay is still hurting over Austen. Jason is so cute. He’s starting to like Lindsay, which makes me happy. I feel like Jason is the kind of man Lindsay should end up with. Everyone puts on garbage bags for a champagne shower outside. Paige cries about not having a boyfriend. Gabby tells Luke she’s into him. He politely shuts her down. Luke likes to chase unattainable women. It’s his thing.
Craig and Paige discuss how he misses his girlfriend Natalie. In his talking head, Craig confesses to having a crush on Paige years ago when he first met her. Awe! I know we’re all watching to see how these two end up together. Andrea comes in to literally sweep Paige off of her feet. He officially asks her on a date, which dried her tears up super quick. The next day, Andrea takes Paige on a romantic sleigh ride for their date. Paige is over the moon. She plans their wedding as Andrea lays the “I want to marry the love of my life” thing on thick. The stars in her eyes are literally popping out as he speaks. Wanting to marry a man after knowing him a week is very Anna from Frozen. Look at how that worked out Paige!
Amanda, The Reluctant Bone Collector
Luke and Jason work on the igloo. Jason says that he’s into Lindsay. YAY! Luke tells Jason that he’s attracted to Julia. Everyone else comes out to join them. Craig tells everyone that Andrea can’t see a future with Paige, so Craig is confused as to why he would take her out on a date. Amanda and Lindsay are worried for Paige. Amanda is tasked with telling Paige that bit of information. After the double daters come home, Amanda, Paige and Ciara discuss the date in bed.
Paige feels confident that she and Andrea will last after the Winter House. Amanda looks like she wants to vomit. Say what you will about Amanda, but one thing I’ve always loved about her is that she is loyal to her core. She loves Paige, so she wants to protect her. From all I’ve seen on the show, Amanda is a damn good friend with a good heart. Paige is lucky to have that kind of friend in her life, in my humble opinion. I think that’s why she and Lindsay like each other. Both women are extremely caring and loyal.
Lindsay, The Activated Bone Collector
The gang prepares for another theme night: dress as high school stereotypes. Craig is a punk kid. Julia is a cheerleader. Kyle is an emo kid. Amanda is an art student. Austen is a jock. Paige is prom queen (shocker). Andrea is a hot nerd. Gabby is a private school sinner (seems rhetorical but ok). Luke is a stoner. Ciara is the teacher’s pet. Lindsay is the principal. Not too sure what Jason is. Everyone looks great though. Luke is gunning to pursue Julia, even though she has a boyfriend. He passes her a note asking her to hang out. Julia is repulsed. She lets him down not so gently, which is fine by me.
Lindsay, literally drunk with information, tells Paige that Andrea doesn’t want a relationship. Paige is shocked. Amanda is upset with Lindsay for telling Paige. So, Amanda ends up crying more than Paige. Amanda wanted to wait for a sober and more gentler time and place to crush Paige’s Italian wedding dream. Paige is pissed that Andrea is leading her on. But is he? I mean, Andrea is a fuck boy, no doubt. But Paige has made up an entire relationship and wedding in her mind. Andrea promised her no such thing. This may be a controversial opinion, but I don’t feel like Andrea is doing anything wrong.
Come at me in the comments, I’m ready! Just please don’t be mean. I love y’all too much to really fight you on this! Oh, Jason and Lindsay hook up. YAY! That’s one couple I would love to see go the distance.
Next time on Winter House: Kyle and Amanda go skiing with Kyle’s parents. Amanda is terrible. Kyle’s mom isn’t sure she can be part of the family because she’s so bad. Lol. Madison texts Austen, which sends him in a tailspin.
BONUS CONTENT! Here’s another installment of “I’m watching Watch What Happens Live so you don’t have to.” Luke, Lindsay and Andrea are on the show tonight. Andy asks Lindsay about Austen’s asshole appearance on WWHL a few weeks ago. Lindsay says she has since blocked Austen. She says she’s hopeful they will be friends again eventually but that they are on a break right now. The viewers are on Lindsay’s side regarding Austen. Lindsay says Jason is the sweetest guy she’s ever met, so they probably are not together. Andrea says he likes Paige a lot but doesn’t feel like he led her on.
Andy has Lindsay play a game called activate the mate, which pits Austen against Jason. Jason won the categories hands down. Lindsay is asked about the Carl dating rumors, which she shuts down. She says she’s single. She and Ciara are NOT friends. Not shocked by that. Andrea is asked his biggest regret about Paige. He says we have to stay tuned but no regrets. Andy asks Andrea if he was ever a porn star. Andrea said no. Now Andrea is shirtless. So. That’s a wrap! Thank you all for reading. I’ll see you in the comments!