It’s time for another Vanderpump Rules recap. We will have the aftermath of Lala Kent being such a complete and total shitbag of a person. It seems like the cheese is also sliding off of James’s sandwich. We saw the foreshadowing of that last week when it seemed like he was responsible for damaging Racquel’s nose as she was recovering from a nose job. Just when we thought James might have his act together… In other news, the ratings for this show continue to decline with 605,000 last week. That’s like WWHL bad.
BUT NOW WE’VE SAID IT!!!
We start with all guys playing two on two basketball. Somehow, James and Brock won. I wasn’t really paying much attention but it appears it was all Brock. Sandoval and James both have heard “weird things” about Lala and Randall’s relationship. But they never bring it up. Meanwhile, Charli and Ariana are having coffee and beignets. Charli has never had a beignet before because of all of her weird food issues. She’s trying to overcome them. She used to only eat pizza, quesadillas and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
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Raquel goes to see LVP for help finding a new plastic surgeon to fix her recent one that was knocked out of joint over the surgery. Guess who LVP met with? Did you guess Paul Nassif? Le sigh. LVP says that she paid $16K for the first nose job. Paul says he costs double that. Racquel wants to tell LVP the truth of what happened, but she is petrified. She tries the kiss story, but LVP is not buying it. Then, she says James whole family was there when it happened. So, LVP says she believes her. Right after it happened she asked James mom how it looked. She said it looked like her nose was pushed into her cheek. James flipped out on his mother. She’s not exactly Mother Teresa either.
The Under Seven Minute Man
Lala goes to Katie’s for some sort of coven meeting where we learn that Katie got mad at Schwartz for staying out to late with her sister wife, Sandoval. So she jammed the door shut and Schwartz had to bust his way in. Sounds like a great time to throw a baby in the mix to me. Oh BTW, there were photos from Halloween circulating were people thought Katie looked pregnant. It was hard to tell. Ariana shows up next. Why Ariana? Stay away from the coven! Lala comes at Ariana for defending her husband. Who was absolutely right at the party. Lala lacks all self awareness.
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At Sandoval’s house the two Toms have some sort of business meeting with lots of neon lights and even more alcohol. They decide the theme for the bar is “dive bar.” I must have missed the “mission statement” while Sandoval was quoting Coco Chanel. As one does at a drunken business meeting. Scheana and Brock stop by to help Charli and her boyfriend move in. Brock hangs a TV in just over five minutes. Charli is planning a food party as sort of their housewarming. It is there that Charli will be introduced to grown up food for the first time.
Don’t Get Your Nose Out Of Joint!
James and Raquel appear to be at Dr. Nassif’s without LVP having arrived yet. James is very nervous. He feels like he is going to be blamed. Of course he is to blame. The only question is if it was accidental or deliberate. I’m still not so sure. LVP arrives just after James mentions it is his first night back at SUR for CU Next Tuesday and it’s a big night for him. It’s not all about you, asswipe. The minute LVP sits down James starts praising her for making the appointment like she had gotten them on a spacecraft. He suck a suckup to LVP. LVP is not buying the kiss story.
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Dr. Nassif decides Raquel’s nose needs eleventy billion procedures including on that will require an incision under her breast to take some cartilage from one of her ribs? WHAAAAAA? Dr. Nassif says a kiss did not cause the extent of the injuries. It was probably the surgery. I’m not so sure about that. Also, James freaks out in his talking her having another scar under her breast. Because, that is his property now.
See You Next Tuesday!
Later that night, we go to See you next Tuesday. There are like ten people there other than the cast and the kitchen staff. LVP invites Randall and Lala over for drinks the next night. Charli is in her SUR outfit “working.” She brings the Tom and Ariana free shots and thanks them for letting her have her party at her house. That was probably a production decision, because her apartment is small but whatever. Then Lala shows up to pull Sandoval away in this bizarre touchy feely way. I am not going to recap this fight again. They come to a truce. Again. For now.
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OH! Now I get the weird invitation that LVP extended to Randall and Lala. Lala was not invited to the food event at Charli’s so she got a scene with LVP. She cries to LVP and once again plays the victim. She thinks she is a better person? But, she still treats everyone like shit! Back at the party, the first thing they tried was mussels. Charli actually likes it. She does not care for the texture of Scheana’s famous enchiladas. I’m struggling with textures of foods lately myself. This has never been an issue for me before. Scheana and Brock head home to check on their baby. But, the party lives on.
It’s All About James Kennedy
Raquel is dancing around with Charli and enjoying herself. She seems really happy. Everyone decides to play a game. Ut Oh. Games never go well on thee shows. Magically, one of the questions is “Never have I ever had plastic surgery.” Gee, I wonder why. Raquel, who is really tipsy starts speaking freely about her appointment with Dr. Nassif. She starts to cry and mentions that the original surgery was $16K and the revision will cost $30K. Sandoval just keeps saying NO!
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James pipes up to point out how stressful this is for HIM! How is he stressed? That is exactly what Ariana wants to know. Apparently, James “has to stare at her fucking face everyday.” Wow. I guess the concern for him is if it gets fucked up again. They go back to the same game. It’s kind of like Scattergories where you have to go around in a circle and quickly say something that fits the category. Raquel sucks at it. The last round was “rappers” and Raquel didn’t know any. Everyone laughed because… JAMES! Now James is even more pissed off. He calls Raquel and Charli stupid.
Next week: Apparently the Lala mean girl/victim game rolls on. And the Toms are still not meeting expectations of their third (and apparently primary) partner.
James and LaLa keep telling us how much they’ve changed while showing us that they haven’t changed a bit!
I agree. They may be sober or California sober in James case, but they still have a lot of rage. I don’t kNow if anger management classes work but they need something like that
Exactly, Kara!
Lala and James should have gotten together to duke it out who’s the bigger narcissist. Didn’t bother to watch any of lala. Really enjoy Charli, she makes Sheana pleasant to watch again, they are a great forsome. Loved the 7minute ripping Rob joke. James is trash. Seriously hes bumed about a scar on her rib, um curious what he must think of how hideous Ariana and Katie are for their scars. They are not, but I’m sure he feels otherwise. He’s awful and is most likely joining the FF lala movement if I remember to watch!
Inquiring minds want to know…..what are the “weird things” James and Sandavol have heard about Lala and Randall’s relationship?
I’d like to know as well.
I wondered that also! I did not know if maybe they were referring to her putting Rand’s toothbrush up her ass when she’d get mad at him, if there were already rumors he was cheating on Lala (like he cheated w/her – allegedly) when this filmed, or other that has not come out publicly yet. Nothing would surprise me when it comes to Lala. I do think she’s a nasty cunt though. She should’ve been tending to her own glass house instead of trying to create disdain for Brock from others. I agree w/Sandoval- it’s hypocritical for her to be yelling “don’t come for my fiancé” while literally going after Scheana’s fiancé.
Or the way she spoke so rudely to Ariana on Katie’s couch. All while saying that’s what Sandoval does. She goes from 0 to 60 and to 100 if you respond. Ariana was so mature and level headed compared to Lala. Even the way Schena kept her cool at the LVP dinner and brunch for that matter
MelG, welcome back. I have missed reading your post.
Who would want to date Lala after she said that about his toothbrush and does she fight her daughter for the baby bottle?
I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship w/Lala. She’s one vindictive bitch! I would be afraid to brush my teeth or eat or drink anything that’s not sealed.
I keep wondering if she’s going to be able to control her rage with her child. Just wait til Ocean gets to be a teenager with a smart-ass mouth… Lala will lose it.
Oh that kid will be in boarding somewhere by 5th grade. LOL.
Which reminds me, When I was living in Libya for 1-5 grades, my brother was in fancy boarding school in Switzerland (Lockheed paid for it). In the summer time, lots of little kids I went to school with got to got to Switzerland for like a summer camp type thing or something. I begged to be allowed to go, my mama told me that that the kids that go have parents that don’t love them. LOL.
I got dragged all over Europe and my mother was the president of the Archeology Club or whatever and held huge events in Sabratha and Leptus Magna for Libyan artists and like … stuff. lol. I think I got the better end of the deal, but I still wanted to go to boarding school like my brother at the time. He came home for the summer and was also dragged all over Europe with us.
Your life does sound fascinating. I like when you stray from the Bravo mess and tell us about your childhood experiences.
James is a total douche bag and I really hope Raquel gets the guts to dump his obnoxious ass! She is so gorgeous and sweet and kind,. She deserves someone who treats her with love and kindness in return, not with cruelty and as a pretty, dumb object to be owned. I really fucking hate James. I don’t care how shitty his life was. Mine was too but I don’t treat people like trash!
People are watching this? Really?
Not many.
OMG, you make me laugh. “Sister Wife”, and “As one does in a drunken business meeting.” You funny. I haven’t seen this episode yet, I actually had PEOPLE at my house last night; my brother and SIL were in town so they came over as well as my daughter en famille, and my ex and his girlfriend, per my brothers request. My ex had obviously not been there and I was super proud of my apartment, view, location, etc. So that was good.
Raquel has that common illness I used to have “I can fix him itis”. From both of their reactions, I would say 90% the nose incident was deliberate. And if someone is an asshole, they are going to stay an asshole drunk or sober. It is so much easier when you are young to try and fix someone else than yourself. Don’t ask me how I know this.
I am looking forward to watching it when I get off and go flop on the couch. Great recap!! And I LOVED the link to the post on James’ mother, somehow I missed that or I slept since then. That’s pretty crazy.
I love Raquel. She is much too good for James. Drunken Raquel was amazing too! James is such an [email protected]!hole. I can’t stand hearing him berate her and talk down to her. I hope she realizes that James is a waste of her time sooner rather than later. I want to know what Sandoval was hearing about Lala’s relationship too. Hopefully it will come out soon. Lala needs to realize she can’t have her cake and eat it too. She can’t come after others and expect her life to be off-limits.
I broke my own rule and read your recap before watching the show because I’m not sure when I’ll actually watch it. As far as the Dr. Nassif and removing a portion of her rib, I watch Botched and Dr. Nassif has to do that quite often when the previous surgeon has removed too much cartilage from someone’s nose. I honestly believe James hit her in one of his rages and, like battered women everywhere, she’ll lie about it to protect him. I hope she makes her escape from him asap.
Your commentary in this recap made my day.
I’m the resident expert on all things nose job: I’ve had six! Not sure why Nassif is taking cartilage from her rib, they took it from the back of my ear so there would be no visible scar. Also, as much as I dislike James it’s not likely he caused any damage. Her dissymmetry is so minuscule it’s not worth going they the surgery again but I completely understand how once you see something as wrong you think the whole world can see it plain as day.
Fun Fact that I shared years ago. When I first got Banjo he needed LOTS of walks. In my hood there is a big brick house on like a triple deep lot with two more houses in the back. I call it the Mexican house because they are all Mexicans. I taught two of the girls in second grade and I think they have their own families now!
Their father is a contractor who has helped me out of several crises over the years, turning off my water with a thingy on the street, helping me after the break in, maybe the first time I had a rodent issue. He’s the best (and hot lol). Anyway all the kids loved me because I was their second grade teacher. So I was walking Banjo when I first got him and he was a handful. It was already dark, I’d been enjoying cocktail hour. They were on the stoop and one of the guys offered to walk him for me. We all have stoops on our houses and most of them have stairs in the same place. But they built their own house. It was dark. I saw the kid coming with Banjo and stepped off to get him and go home. But I fell flat on my face because I stepped off the wrong side.
I had to go to the hospital via ambulance. Anyway, I was sure my nose was broken. And drunk me was like YAY! Insurance (I still actually had it way back then) will have to pay for my nose job! But sober me was, I don’t want someone else’s face! I’ve had this face forever. I’m good with it. Unless you have just a really unfortunate nose that you hate, I don’t see the point. Her nose was lovely before and I don’t see a difference now!
I highly doubt she is going to pay $30K for Nassif. He’s either going to do it to be on the show (and I really doubt she had the first one) or this is all utter bullshit. Raquel and James don’t make the money the OGs do. And James acting like he paid for the first one IF THERE WAS ONE is ridiculous. He has no job other than VPR and she still legit works at SUR which was shut down due to Covid. Even if she gets it for free, it’s ridiculous. But the way she felt compelled to tell how much “the first one” cost, and spew his fees for the second one reeks of production.
If she did have a nose job (and I agree with you, I’m not sure she did), she overpaid by about 10K if she paid $16K. Even if she has insurance I doubt they’d pay Nassif $30K for corrective surgery. You may be on to something though when you say if he does it it’s just to be on the show. Years ago I was having trouble breathing through my nose so I had a consultation with a surgeon who was one of the top guys in Chicago. He showed me pictures and video of surgeries he’d done. The end results were wonderful but seeing what I’d have to go through made me decide to leave my nose alone. I think Raquel has always been so beautiful that if she sees a minor flaw (or if that dick James points one out) it’s all she can focus on. She really just needs to leave her face alone and get a better boyfriend.
Wow this show has gotten boring. A major storyline is re-aligning Raquel’s nose ……..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
^^^That was exactly my thought too
I mean…Charli eating mussels? Raquel fretting about a 2nd nose job? I really miss the VPR glory days.
Prob time to put this show out of its misery.
James is proof you can be sober and still be an ass.
“California sober” lol
Oh yes, such a trendy term with millennials with addiction issues (talking to you Demi Lavato). Speaking as a person finally living a sober life, nothing about sobriety is trendy or fun. And ‘California sobriety’ is a relapse waiting to happen. Either you save your life by living drug and alcohol free when you are an addict or you are not sober.
I’ve watched Botched from the very beginning and has seen a number of Nassif nose surgeries outcome. He is technically skilled but not aesthetically talented. The noses he “fixes” are always too big and wide for peoples faces. He loves using cartilage from patients ribs but he doesn’t refined it enough.
I predict that Raquel will be very un happy with the results of Nassifs work. Currently her nose size is perfectly fitting for her face.
I’m surprised she didn’t go back to the original surgeon, typically they will evalute what the problems are and redo the nose for free.
Also it’s always advised to wait at least a year between surgeries as it takes a while for the final outcome and healing process. It sounds like that wasn’t suggested.
Good points. all. Thanks for the comment!
I love Botched. I thought maybe it was just my imagination that the noses he does generally look too big for the person’s face. I am surprised he didn’t tell her to wait but maybe the damage that was done needed to be fixed quicker.
The Toms were tripping on mushrooms for their “business meeting” , as all good businessmen do
Isn’t it so obvious that Sandoval is either doing Adderall or blow? Check his eyes. He’s tweeked out of his mind. I wouldn’t want to be in any sort of business with him because he’s clearly a liablity. Anyone wonder how he came up with the money to fund the new restaurant? He said it was from a home equity loan but could it be a possibility that he is dabbling in selling illegal substances as well as taking them???? hmmmmm
I recently saw Tom Sandoval in a Lifetime movie, The Wrong Real Estate Agent. He played a handyman which was a small part. So he is also an actor now and maybe that is where he got the money for the bar.
Raquel’s nose was LOVELY before the nose job. I didn’t see anything wrong with the original OR the “damaged by James” nose until Nassif showed the enlarged images.
Nose injuries are VERY strange. I had the same thing happen — no nose job — my boyfriend went in for a kiss as I stood up. I got a black eye but everything was fine afterward. About 5 weeks ago, while using the post hole digger for our chicken Ginger’s grave, I bonked myself on the bridge of my nose. It REALLY hurt when it happened, but it didn’t swell AT ALL. For the first two days, it only hurt when I touched it. Then, it started hurting all of the time. It STILL hurts when I touch it, which is very weird after all the time that has passed.
James’s sober mother is still a piece of shit person. She should be thanking the heavens for Raquel, not making her feel bad. Damned TWUNT! (I wish I could remember which commenter taught me that word! I love it!)
I hate James’s proprietary attitude about Raquel’s body, and I think he is dead wrong to act as if he has a say, BUT she should leave her nose alone. Rebecca is so right. It might be too soon and it certainly the wrong surgeon.
Did Paul have his own nose done? I liked the schnoz. I think 95% of the time, God gets it right.
“Brock hangs a TV in just over five minutes.” Best…….line…….EVER!
There are no healthy relationships on this show. Lala is the wrong person to be bringing it up and she’s doing it in the wrong way to deflect from her own car crash of a relationship, but if that was a genuine friend of mine who’d just had a baby with someone who had essentially abandoned his children, was subject to a restraining order and admitted ‘slapping’ his ex partner (I worked with DA perpetrators for years, if he’s admitting that there’s a lot more to it and you can’t get a restraining order about something that happened two years prior just because you split up, the English and Australian justice systems are very similar), I’d be worried and I’d be saying something to her, especially if her picking skills were as off as Scheana’s.
Tom is breaking down the door because he’s out (definitely not having sex) with Tom Sandoval… That relationship doesn’t need a baby.
Ariana seems very submissive in that relationship too and Sandoval is clearly on some kind of stimulant.
James is abusive to Raquel, whether that is physical yet or not, he gaslights and undermines her, plays on her insecurities and is just horrible to her.
“Sandoval is clearly on some kind of stimulant”…lol Clearly it’s blow or Adderall. He’s def not in his right mind. He can barely control himself and is off-the-charts aggressive.