It’s time for another Vanderpump Rules recap. We will have the aftermath of Lala Kent being such a complete and total shitbag of a person. It seems like the cheese is also sliding off of James’s sandwich. We saw the foreshadowing of that last week when it seemed like he was responsible for damaging Racquel’s nose as she was recovering from a nose job. Just when we thought James might have his act together… In other news, the ratings for this show continue to decline with 605,000 last week. That’s like WWHL bad.
BUT NOW WE’VE SAID IT!!!
We start with all guys playing two on two basketball. Somehow, James and Brock won. I wasn’t really paying much attention but it appears it was all Brock. Sandoval and James both have heard “weird things” about Lala and Randall’s relationship. But they never bring it up. Meanwhile, Charli and Ariana are having coffee and beignets. Charli has never had a beignet before because of all of her weird food issues. She’s trying to overcome them. She used to only eat pizza, quesadillas and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Raquel goes to see LVP for help finding a new plastic surgeon to fix her recent one that was knocked out of joint over the surgery. Guess who LVP met with? Did you guess Paul Nassif? Le sigh. LVP says that she paid $16K for the first nose job. Paul says he costs double that. Racquel wants to tell LVP the truth of what happened, but she is petrified. She tries the kiss story, but LVP is not buying it. Then, she says James whole family was there when it happened. So, LVP says she believes her. Right after it happened she asked James mom how it looked. She said it looked like her nose was pushed into her cheek. James flipped out on his mother. She’s not exactly Mother Teresa either.
The Under Seven Minute Man
Lala goes to Katie’s for some sort of coven meeting where we learn that Katie got mad at Schwartz for staying out to late with her sister wife, Sandoval. So she jammed the door shut and Schwartz had to bust his way in. Sounds like a great time to throw a baby in the mix to me. Oh BTW, there were photos from Halloween circulating were people thought Katie looked pregnant. It was hard to tell. Ariana shows up next. Why Ariana? Stay away from the coven! Lala comes at Ariana for defending her husband. Who was absolutely right at the party. Lala lacks all self awareness.
At Sandoval’s house the two Toms have some sort of business meeting with lots of neon lights and even more alcohol. They decide the theme for the bar is “dive bar.” I must have missed the “mission statement” while Sandoval was quoting Coco Chanel. As one does at a drunken business meeting. Scheana and Brock stop by to help Charli and her boyfriend move in. Brock hangs a TV in just over five minutes. Charli is planning a food party as sort of their housewarming. It is there that Charli will be introduced to grown up food for the first time.
Don’t Get Your Nose Out Of Joint!
James and Raquel appear to be at Dr. Nassif’s without LVP having arrived yet. James is very nervous. He feels like he is going to be blamed. Of course he is to blame. The only question is if it was accidental or deliberate. I’m still not so sure. LVP arrives just after James mentions it is his first night back at SUR for CU Next Tuesday and it’s a big night for him. It’s not all about you, asswipe. The minute LVP sits down James starts praising her for making the appointment like she had gotten them on a spacecraft. He suck a suckup to LVP. LVP is not buying the kiss story.
Dr. Nassif decides Raquel’s nose needs eleventy billion procedures including on that will require an incision under her breast to take some cartilage from one of her ribs? WHAAAAAA? Dr. Nassif says a kiss did not cause the extent of the injuries. It was probably the surgery. I’m not so sure about that. Also, James freaks out in his talking her having another scar under her breast. Because, that is his property now.
See You Next Tuesday!
Later that night, we go to See you next Tuesday. There are like ten people there other than the cast and the kitchen staff. LVP invites Randall and Lala over for drinks the next night. Charli is in her SUR outfit “working.” She brings the Tom and Ariana free shots and thanks them for letting her have her party at her house. That was probably a production decision, because her apartment is small but whatever. Then Lala shows up to pull Sandoval away in this bizarre touchy feely way. I am not going to recap this fight again. They come to a truce. Again. For now.
OH! Now I get the weird invitation that LVP extended to Randall and Lala. Lala was not invited to the food event at Charli’s so she got a scene with LVP. She cries to LVP and once again plays the victim. She thinks she is a better person? But, she still treats everyone like shit! Back at the party, the first thing they tried was mussels. Charli actually likes it. She does not care for the texture of Scheana’s famous enchiladas. I’m struggling with textures of foods lately myself. This has never been an issue for me before. Scheana and Brock head home to check on their baby. But, the party lives on.
It’s All About James Kennedy
Raquel is dancing around with Charli and enjoying herself. She seems really happy. Everyone decides to play a game. Ut Oh. Games never go well on thee shows. Magically, one of the questions is “Never have I ever had plastic surgery.” Gee, I wonder why. Raquel, who is really tipsy starts speaking freely about her appointment with Dr. Nassif. She starts to cry and mentions that the original surgery was $16K and the revision will cost $30K. Sandoval just keeps saying NO!
James pipes up to point out how stressful this is for HIM! How is he stressed? That is exactly what Ariana wants to know. Apparently, James “has to stare at her fucking face everyday.” Wow. I guess the concern for him is if it gets fucked up again. They go back to the same game. It’s kind of like Scattergories where you have to go around in a circle and quickly say something that fits the category. Raquel sucks at it. The last round was “rappers” and Raquel didn’t know any. Everyone laughed because… JAMES! Now James is even more pissed off. He calls Raquel and Charli stupid.
Next week: Apparently the Lala mean girl/victim game rolls on. And the Toms are still not meeting expectations of their third (and apparently primary) partner.