I was today years old when I learned I could never live in Alaska. I thought about it once because there are a lot of straight men up there and not that many women. And it looks pretty on TV. But, I am NOT dealing with the lack of sunlight this winter. I sleep so late I only get 2-3 hours of “sun.” Or rain. But tonight will be a good night because Captain Lee makes me happy. However, tonight’s Below Deck recap will not highlight Lee, the super nice man who is kind to others and does a shit ton of charity work. Tonight, Captain Fucking Lee is probably going to come out and kick butt and take names with this week’s awful charter guest. That works for me too. 🙂
It’s the morning after the first drunken crew night out and everyone is hungover. Except Eddie he is ready to roll. So is Captain Lee who calls a preference sheet meeting. They are all real estate brokers. I used to work for as a realtor back before I was legally able to drink. Realtors are weird. They are also all bourbon drinkers. I love me a little shot of bourbon. But, I try not to drink liquor. Meanwhile Rayna and Fraser are becoming girlfriends. Rayna declares that she doesn’t want to fuck Jake. But, she does like making out with him. She’s interested in someone from another ship.
Captain Lee Calls A Meeting
It’s the first time Captain Lee has been able to have a crew meeting. The first ones are always full of bluster and folksy sayings and threats to give them a plane ticket home when they fuck up. He also hates when they don’t have their radios with them. If he finds them he will pick them up. He also says he has a pocket full of plane tickets. Rayna says that Captain Lee reminds her of a cookie that is hard and crispy on the outside and soft and mushy on the inside. That’s actually true but when you are working on a boat with him you will see the hard exterior the large majority of the time. The meeting ends with “Work Hard or Get Fired.”
Eddie wants to promote Jake to lead deckhand. But, Captain Lee is not sure he is quite ready yet. He eventually agrees to promote him. Heather calls a stew meeting. I do not care for Heather. I am totally Team Fraser and his under his breath jabs. Jessica isn’t fond of her either. Nevertheless, the guests arrive. They are rowdy right off the bat. The guys are already wasted and their language is reckless. One of them is already talking about Trump. If Captain’s were still allowed to make people walk the plank, I have some candidates already. Uncouth doesn’t even begin to describe these people. They are drinking bourbon by the thermos. They are too drunk to hit balls into THE OCEAN.
Another Cruise, Another White Party..
Some of the guys didn’t want to be bothered to change for the white party they asked for. They are all very loud and very drunk. Captain Lee is in no mood to attend this nonsense. But, he does love Rachael’s food. He is not in the mood for all the foul language. However, he is no stranger to it himself. Nor am I, obviously. BTW, with Christmas on the Horizon, Captain Lee’s book is a great gift. Especially for that guy you need a gift for. And unlike other Bravolebs, he actually wrote it. Not surprisingly, the guys have no table manners at all. Justin is the worst. He just declared he is throwing himself off the boat. Knock yourself out, I say.
Did Rachel just say that the beef is from Buckhead, Georgia? Apparently so, so weird. Justin wants his dinner alone on the swim deck. They are trying to make that happen but everything is getting knocked over. He is clearly going to fall off the swim deck. Captain Lee makes an escape for the dinner table. Now we just needs to get all of these people in their cabins. I doubt we will see any of them at breakfast. I admit I usually sleep through breakfast when I travel. I’m just not a morning person. One of the females the blond named Terri who asked Captain Lee thirty times where he was from goes down to cuss at Justin as he dangles his feet over the edge of the swim deck. WHY?
Eddie has been notified to come help with the situation and the two drunk primaries continue to argue. To Be Continued.. Captain Lee is not going to like this. Justin may be kicked off next week.
Rayna and Fraser are on WWHL Tonight.
I’m going back to finish watching The Voice with Banjo. Kelly Clarkson’s team is FIRE this year. Please don’t vote for anyone on The Sisters team. She has like five times more social media followers than the rest of them. Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought about this episode in the comments.