It’s late and I am up fighting a rodent problem. I lost last night but I seem to be winning now. I just need one of y’all to come remove the bodies when the time comes. Any volunteers? Yeah I know. My mama would have been able to do it. She used to hack up garden snakes with a hoe. You have to do what you have to do. My parents used to have a really large garden in the backyard when I grew up. I once saw a “slithering green onion” and my mama hacked up that thing so fast I barely knew what was happening. Tonight I am trying to draw on her strength. I’m just not sure how to dispose of the bodies even if I could do it.
So clearly I would suck at Survivor. I really want to know what Erica decides. And I am a drinking a wee bit. So bare with me on this one. Y’all know I try my best to get my names right. On the Project Runway recap someone accused me of being Anti-Asian because I mixed up the names on two Asian guys. Clearly they don’t know me or my lack of brain cells or inability to remember what name goes to what Survivor. Y’all are so much more patient with me. Okay, let’s see what happens!
The First Individual Immunity Challenge
Okay so Xander, Naseer (MY FAVORITE PLAYER!) and Shan all have active idols now. It feels like a month since I have recapped this show and all I remember from last week is all the black people making The Cookout Alliance! I forget what they are calling it. But, fun fact, the Cookout Alliance that DOMINATED Big Brother this season was filmed AFTER Survivor aired (but before it was filmed.) Oh wow, Erica is miserable in the rain. Poor girl. I love her. I hope things go well.
At the individual immunity challenge, Erika is brought in first and Jeff grills her about her two days of solitude on a small island, one of them was in the rain. Erika tells the others that Jeff came and gave her the opportunity to go back in time and change the events of history. If she did that then, she could put her original tribe in jeopardy and save the losers. She smashed it. Good for her! It sucks that Tiffany is still safe though. She was my favorite on paper. I think Naseer will be okay on this feet only challenge. Did I miss the part where they explained this foot only challenge? I feel like the editing really sucks this season. Evvie is in the lead. The guys are struggling. But Ricard wins immunity!
The Tribal Council Discussions
Naseer is going to be in danger! Everyone knows he could cook a seven course meal for Top Chef and light fire just by looking at it. Please don’t let him go home. I am already stressed enough for one week! Liana and Xander are the biggest threats at the moment. I don’t think the loser team will send Erika home. Danny is pissed that life isn’t fair. He’s so cute but still. The guys seem to want Evvie out. Why? just because she almost won an immunity on a girl’s challenge? Save her for later! I still don’t understand this game. There are twelve scrolls and two of them are safe? Can someone explain this production interference to me?
I feel like all the NEWLY “woke” shows due to politics want black winners for all their shows. That’s CBS trying to be fair. I don’t mind if you pack your shows with non white people. But if you are doing it to make yourself not look racist, it is not working. Now you are just doing things to make things worse. We need SO MUCH LESS PRODUCTION INFLUENCE an SO MUCH MORE RACIAL INCLUSION and just let what happens, happen. This season seems produced to have the same black alliance at the end as Big Brother did. I love when that happened. But now we know it was probably inorganic. Because this happened first. Just let the winners win and stop acting like black, muslim, asian, or other non whites need your help! Just stop tipping it the white people for ratings!
I Miss The Old Format And Am Confused
Moving on, Liana annoys the fuck out of me. Danny is pissed because he won immunity and lost it. I can’t remember if they called it the Melanin Alliance or I did. Wait what is Sidney doing there? Is she white? I know it is the most awful thing in the world to say you don’t see race, but I was raised in Libya and there are a few Nigerian people there who are very dark. There are white people there from the US who are very white. There were some Japanese people there who were very cute. I kind liked this boy and he ate sushi for lunch everyday. I didn’t know it was sushi, but he did tell me it was seaweed. I was one of the few who talked to him. I was fascinated. He’s probably a kajillonaire by now.
It comes down to boys against the girls. The guy all want to get rid of Evvie. She’s “a threat”. No mam, you girls need to get rid of a strong guy (JUST NOT NASEER!) . Liana (THANKS FOR TALKING ABOUT EVVIE in the third person because the person who is supposed to do the chyron is apparently high somewhere. So the girls are going to take out their strongest player? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH WOMEN? She’s on team female, she’s on team melanin! I’m rooting for Xander and Evvie. Evvie has tells Xander that Liana has advantages. She can ask if anyone has an idol or an advantage and they have to give it to her. So she gets him to give him the advantage.
This Is Sofa King Complicated
Xander is telling Danny that she can take someone’s idol. This doesn’t matter at all because he is friends with a black person in the Melanin Alliance. Seriously, have they named it yet? So anyway, Danny goes to tell Liana that the Xander knows about her advantage. Look, this is too complicated for this old lady. Can we just do the normal things? I’m not able to follow all of this shit. Sorry. I probably won’t recap this anymore. It’s just too convoluted
Sydney is probably the winner because I have no idea who the fuck she is. It is tribal council. Xander plays his idol. It that thing? I thought you had to wait until after the vote. I guess he is just showing it . So Liana wants to play her advantage and take the idol away from Xander. HAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH Zander says he says he only has a fake idol. ROFLMAO. Such a great move. Xander gave his extra vote and a fake idol to Tiffany. Xander is playing a great game. That means the plan to take Evvie out is over.
So who goes home? Also, all the “groups” have broken off to chaos to decide who to send home. LOL. Everyone is in a dither and the “cookout” doesn’t know who to send home now. Everyone seems to be in a dither. I have no idea what is going on. What I do no is my boyfriend, Naseer wasn’t included in any of the huddles. So I hate everyone but my boyfriend Nassir and you do NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH ME RIGHT NOW!’ Sydney plays her shot in the dark… like that not is total production. Tiffany wants to play her save and her team says it is not necessary. I’d rather go home than admit I could not do the challenges. I have to admit that Sydney did a great job. I could have never. I know you guys want to knock her out but whatever happened to women in her fifties, exceeding?