BY: POPCULTUREKELLY
Welcome back to another installment of drunken, beautiful people’s shenanigans, otherwise known as your Winter House recap! I’m going to try a new format today as there are just too many people on this Godforsaken show. Yet, only a few are actually doing things. I’m going to stick to who’s making the show juicy and do a very brief synopsis on who isn’t. The “Isn’t’s” first. Gabby is really trying to get into Luke’s lumberjacks, to no avail. He’s too busy making igloos and fires to notice pretty girls. Gabby doesn’t seem to notice that JASON is into her. JASON. He is hot, he cooks, he listens when she speaks, he is (so far) unproblematic…it makes no sense.
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Add it to the list of things on this show that don’t make sense I suppose. Julia seems to be making an effort to get to know everyone. I like her so far but again, not doing much. Craig is Craig. Drinks, talks shit about Austen, then hangs out with him. Amanda is annoyed with Kyle, who drinks and works too much. I would love to see Amanda without Kyle. I feel like she could be fun, if she didn’t have to babysit her 40 year old fiance all the time.
Hurricane Lindsay Has Arrived!
That brings us to the central players of this hot mess show. Paige, Andrea, Ciara and Austen are still making out in the hot tub. A huge shoutout to Bravo for making me want to pierce my own eardrums whilst listening to the slobbering hot tub kissing. So fucking gross. Anywhoodle, everyone braces for the arrival of Hurricane Lindsay. I personally cannot wait for her to come! Lindsay’s force winds prove too powerful for Austen to ignore. There is clearly a huge connection between the two. SInce he’s Awful Austen, he’s trying to appease both Lindsay and Ciara. Should work out perfectly! Ciara (and Lindsay) are far too beautiful and smart to be chasing after Austen. Yet, here we are.
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Paige and Andrea are super flirty. I will preface this as I am old AF. I am married with three kids, one of whom could be on this show in 5 years. (Over my dead body but you see the age I’m working with here). It could be just me, but I find Andrea super skeevy. He’s gorgeous with an amazing accent. Got it. There’s something about him that screams player to me. I don’t know. Paige is soaking it all up, regardless of what Mama PCK thinks.
Sister Lindsay, Oh The Time Has Come
The gang finally get out of the house to go night snow tubing. It looks so fun! They then hit the bar, where Austen and Lindsay’s attraction cannot be denied. Ciara is sitting there watching them. For me, that would be a deal breaker. For Ciara, maybe it’s a competitive thing? Either way, she remains undeterred. Lindsay and Austen confess to Kyle that they have slept together in the past. Kyle is shocked. Then Lindsay and Austen share the longest hug, again witnessed by Ciara. Austen asks Lindsay if she ever thought about a future with him. She said of course.
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They go back to the house where Lindsay falls on the floor drunk. Lindsay then professes her love to Austen. He feigns shock, but he knew all along that she wants more from him. He leaves his drunk, emotionally vulnerable “best friend” to go snuggle with Ciara. God I hate him. The next day, sober Lindsay and Austen discuss the L bomb. Austen tells he loves Lindsay too…LIKE A SISTER. I want to smack that huge, sagging tongue right out of his mouth. Why do these women give him this attention? WHY?
Next week on Winter House: More drunken shenanigans. Julia goes after Luke. Amanda, Kyle, Ciara and Austen go on a double date. Ewe. Oooh Mama PCK could be right about Andrea! He gets texts from two women. Gabby confesses that she’s only known Andrea as a player. Thank you so much for reading! And thank you all for the sweet condolences on my Red Sox losing, and for the beautiful birthday wishes. See you all in the comments!
Great recap! For some reason, I like the vibe of Summer House more. I realize that they have a short window to shoot, but everyone is getting too wasted right off the bat.
Love Lindsay— I wish she had a better picker. Austen is just gross to me. I can’t remember who said he looks like a muppet, but can’t “unsee” that.
I think Madison at the Southern Charm reunion told him to shut his muppet mouth.
For me, Summer House works because most of them are friends IRL. If Kyle supposedly planned this trip, then why was it Paige who got to invite her friend Julia and tell her to bring whoever she wanted. It seemed fake to me.
I loved finding out that PCK is a Bostonian. So am I (well, grew up on the north shore but lived in Boston for 18 years) and my best friend’s (also North Shore-ite) initials are also PCK!
Yep I get what you mean but I think its Bravo deciding who comes, not the cast. Remember, when Ciara turned up out of nowhere and they said it was Lukes friend but she couldn’t stand him from the get go? I Always thought that was strange.. Id say they are trying Julia out to see if she is good for ratings action!
South shore here but spent 20 years in Boston. Living vicariously thru this shi#show and enjoying every second of it as well as these recaps. Here for it all
Summer house is the old VPR and southern charm. Rolled into one. Puff puff pass
Awesome recap! I wasn’t sure how it could be done but you did it perfectly!! So happy to know Paige is with Craig!
It’s kind of fun starting out this season knowing that Paige and Craig are “Instagram Official.” Even though neither do anything inappropriate (in regards to Craig having had a girlfriend), you can see that there is both friendship and mad chemistry.
Austen was on WWHL and Lindsay was in the “Oprah seats” sitting with Austen’s sister and (her?) aunt.
I mean, if Lindsay really wants a husband and family like I’ve seen her say on Summer House, she is barking up the wrong tree with Austen. She is 35 and he is not going to meet her expectations anytime soon.
I really like Paige with Craig too. I’ve seen Instagram stories with him chewing tobacco. You know that huge lump on the side of the cheek. That’s my one bummer with him Bc head cancer is so dangerous. I hope he did or does quit.
Great recap — as usual — Kelly. Thanks for recapping this shit show of debauchery.
I didn’t have the problem with Luke like many others did (nor was I ever a Hannah fan), but he seems JUST FINE AND NIT WEIRD at all now that the biggest ego on the show is gone. I wonder what happened to her on the Chatroom. I stopped watching that (mostly) because of her.
Hannah quit Chatroom when she quit Summer House. I’m a fan of hers and Paige and listen to their podcast. They sell out their live shows in minutes. Hannah is touring the country doing stand up comedy. She is in LA about to open for Jay Leno and working with other well known people. She has really interesting people on her pod. I can’t wait to listen to the latest one with India who was in the cult up in Albany from 19 to 26 years of age. And she tells really fun and normal stories about her relationship with Dez. Seems like leaving Bravo was the best thing for her mental health.
Thanks for the update. I only recently realized Dez is a pretty well-known person in Ireland. He was on DWTS over there.
I’m watching now and I have no clue how PCK recaps this show! On normal shows, they go from place to place and some sort of argument happens that I try to explain. Oh wait, they are at an actual bar now. For the first thirty minutes it was just various people in states of hangover, or drunkenes. Everyone is trying to hook up with everyone else.
It would be like going to a club and trying to recap what all the drunk people were doing. The main “storyline” is apparently that Austen has hooked up with Lindsey and they have a past (I didn’t know that) and everyone wants to be with Austen I guess to be two degrees of separation from A-Rod? /shudder.
Anyway, I bow down to Kelly for managing to do this. Then again she manages her “zoo” every day and based on their ages that is even more mind booggling.
Oh God, drunk Lindsay expressing her love for Austen is cringey. I was so like that in my twenties….okay and maybe early 30s. Drunk Tamara is a very happy, loving, sexual drunk. UNLESS it is tequila. Then I just cry. ALOT. And miss dead people. I try not to drink hard liquor except for the occaision bourbon.
Thankfully, it’s been a few years since I’ve expressed my undying love for random men, and the occaision woman, and dealers at casinos, and anyone who opens a door for me….
LOL, this is all to familiar….. fun times!
That said, I don’t think even drunk Tamara at 25 could be drunk enough to profess undying love for Kyle. He’s such a whiney awful piece of shit. I don’t see why Amanda (?) would want to marry him.
Totally. He is a caricature now..
It reminds me of the hippie/ski house we had in the late 70’s in Vermont. I believe that the rent (shared 3 ways) was $115/mo! We all worked at the mountain and got free reciprocal skiing anywhere in Vermont.
Weekends were very interesting and really remind me of Winter House. Our friends from CT would come up on weekends and there were like 5 beds in the loft bedroom and shenanigans definitely happened. Allegedly. One of the best times of my life-thanks for the great recap!
That sounds SO much better than the shares groups of us would get in the Hamptons in the the late 70!s, early 80’s. Very expensive and NOT the glamorous, beautiful digs of Summer House. So many people crammed in, that people often just had sleeping bags on the floor, lol. But we were there for the beach and the night life, so nobody really cared. Oh to be young again.
Thanks again PCK! I CRINGED I mean really CRINGED when Lindsey professed her love for out of all people Austen!?!?! I don’t get it I don’t get her at all. I feel so bad & embarrassed for her. I really liked her relationship with steven before she sabotaged it
I love Lindsay, she is pretty and smart, don’t know how her dumbass radar can be so bad.
Lindsay & Austen, I do not get at all. I still want to see her with Karl. I know they’ve tried and I know he’s a mess, but they have a genuine love & friendship and seem to have more in common than with Austen. I love the idea of Paige& Craig. I’ve always liked both of them. Kyle & Amanda… 😐😕
On the subject of alcohol, I recently tried my first jelly donut shot…Yum!! I think we made it a little diferently,maybe Rumchata and chambord? Good for people like me whose favorite drink.is Bailey’s.
Correction… RumChata and Chambord is the real recipe. We used Razzmatazz instead of the chambord. Anything fruity would work. And yes, we did try them after watching an episode of Camping.
I agree with you about Lindsay and Karl. Hope they find a way back together.
I don’t see what is so attractive about Austin. I mean, he is tall, but that’s it. He just seems so bland to me.
Because he IS BLAND!!
Hee…You made your comment on 10/29 at 10:29!
Men on this show whose names start with A are overrated. Austen? Really? What’s so great about him and I can’t with his slobber/lisp. Andrea is totally a player and not a very good one, in my opinion. I’m surprised Paige has fallen for his antics hook, like, and sinker.
Thai being said, hats off to the recapper! There are so many people – I’m not sure I would know where to start. Well done!
I had high hopes for this show (still going to watch of course), but I feel like it’s just all over the place – nothing really flows. I’m like wait, is it still the first day or two??
Andrea is bleh. Jason – now there is a hotty!!! And a nice guy, to boot – at least so far….
They are too wasted, it;s not enjoyable watching them stumble around and slurring. I can do that at home.. Kyle is super annoying and still thinks he is the boss. Amanda looks like she is fed up with him and sneaks off to relax. The Italian stallion is such a cheezy stereotype he is not going to last long once the girls really get to know him. Im actually enjoying the igloo. I cant believe I said that..