I’m going to try to sneak in a MAFS recap really quick here while I have a minute. It’s the couples trip and I am dying to see it! On the way to the ranch retreat, it becomes clear that Ryan may have someone else from his past that he wants to get back with. Michaela and Ryan stop to try to clear the air before getting to the retreat. Michaela has already moved out. She feels like she learned a lot taking some time for herself. They need to learn how to talk to each other. They seem good now, but according to the previews, that doesn’t last long.
Myrla is going to be a Debbie Downer the whole trip. I can tell already. Johnny isn’t happy he has to share a bed with his wife. He considers the pillow wall option. He’s such an asshole. Bao goes straight in to her duties as head chef. Over dinner they all share where they are at. Michaela and Zack say they are in a good place. Johnny says things are bumpy but he is going in to the retreat being positive and nice. That is something he should have been doing the whole marriage. Ryan weighs in saying Johnny is not alone on the difficult relationship train. There are actually a lot of train wrecks about to happen.
Later they all sit around a campfire and Johnny of all people gives Brett a huge box of cookies with Baxter’s name on them. That would annoy me. Let her just focus on the retreat. On the other hand, Brett needs some support. They all celebrate with sparklers. That was the first night. So far so good. The last two couples to go to bed are Bao and Johnny and Brett and Ryan. They decide that the girls will sleep in one room and the guys will sleep in the other. Johnny says he plans on spending the least amount with Bao possible. He’s such a dick. Ryan says he was ready to work on things and now Brett is checked out. Ya think? Apparently there is only one bed in the guys rooms so Ryan sleeps on the couch.
The next day starts out with cornhole and tacos. Everyone is in a good spot. Sort of. Michaela is talking like her marriage is in a very good place and so is Zack. Bao talks to the girls about how her mother was abused by her father and she told herself as a kid that she would never be with a man like that. And now she is. I feel so sad for her. Ryan and Bao both agree that they are married to men who are not worth their time. Myra and Gil go horseback riding. Myra has done it before, Gil has not. He’s a bit nervous. Myra complains about her horse. Gil checks Myra on her negativity and she “receives it.”
Of course the two couples who are not getting along are given guns. Because of course. They go skeet shooting. Bao is down with it, but the gun has a huge kick. Ryan enjoyed shooting as well. Johnny and Brett were not interested in participating. I’m kind of shocked by Brett not shooting. But, Johnny is kind of a whiny wimp. Brett and Ryan have a chat. Brett says Ryan keeps saying he wants to try, but his actions say he does not want to try. Brett calls him out for basically trying to pretend he would share a bed with him because they are with other couples. Also, Brett calls him out for the hypocrisy. She is very good at explaining her feelings. Ryan keeps acting like he wants to stay in the marriage in confessionals. I do not believe him.
Zach and Michaela Unravel
Zach and Michaela talk during that conversation Zach has a confessional where he shares that the previous night they both decided to get a divorce, take some time off and then see if they can come back together. Yeah, I’ve never been married, but I am pretty sure that is not how it works. Michaela says that Zach didn’t come into the marriage thinking it would be hard work. Zach replies he knew it would be hard work but the reason it is hard work is because of who he married. Wow. So it is Michaela’s fault. She’s like well why are we even trying? Zach says if they were not married they would be in different circumstances so we could see what happens then. Michaela goes buck wild and runs off screaming “I can’t! I CAN’T. So here we go.
Michaela comes back and there is a bit more discussion that is too ridiculous to recap. Michaela asks if he is ready for marriage he says yes, he has been since he was 17 years old. What? Did I hear that correctly? He’s such a moron. But not with her, and not in this process. He has no more energy and no more time to spend. Michaela tells him to hit the bricks then and stop wasting her time. So he gets up and leaves. Bao comes to check on Michaela. Bao says to give him another chance.
Games People Play
So at this point no one has left the house yet. And it’s time for a game. OH HELL NO. These couples games never end well. The is called “Most Likely” so all the the questions are about who is most likely to do one thing or another. Who is most likely to have kids first? I guess Jose and Rachael? That is what everyone said. Most likely to end up in Rehab? Wow. Everyone said Johnny. LOL. I would have said Myrla. Most likely to leave a party early? Myrla. Most likely to be a drama queen? Johnny. Agreed. Most likely to be petty? The answers were all over the place but most were for Michaela. She doubles down on her pettiness. This irritated Zack.
It’s bedtime and we start with Zack and Michaela. He’s on his phone a lot. They start to rehash their previous argument. Zack says that the discussion is not productive at this time. Michaela once again tells him to GTFO. She wishes she had driven separately so she won’t have to find a way back home. It shouldn’t be hard they all live in the same building. Zack says if she is not going to ride back with him tomorrow, he can just leave tonight. He’s not wrong about that. She tells him to leave several times.
Michaela Continues To Press Zack’s Buttons
Michaela calls her sister to come all the way to wherever the fuck they are to pick her up. Girl please with the drama. You have 11 other people in the house and production to get your ass home. So Zack talks to the sister. Then he gets up and he is all the way done so he is going home. He wants to remove himself from the situation. After telling Zack to GTFO MULTIPLE TIMES, now she doesn’t want to drive alone in the countryside. He’s not thinking straight. WOW. Bitch you are … I don’t know what you are but let the man get away from whatever it is. She is now trying to get him to stay. What is wrong with this person????
As he is trying to leave, Bao is watching the whole thing go down. Michaela takes his suitcase and throws it back into their bedroom! She is psycho. Bao is freaking out. Most of the house is enjoying a campfire. Zach tells them all goodbye. Michaela comes out and continues to try to block him from leaving. Then, Michaela yells at Ryan for not stopping him. Michaela goes nuts! She runs into the house and starts tearing it apart! AGAIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN? Production steps in and then she slams the door in the cameraperson’s face! Is she on drugs?
The Next Day
Bao tells us that Michaela came to get in bed with her in the middle of the night. She was very distraught and she called her sister to came to get her very early in the morning. Rachael and Jose talk and they seem solid. I feel like this couple and Gil and Myrla will stay married. Who knows about the other couples. Everyone heads back home to consider decision day. On the way home they all stop at a farm. Is that a glimmer of hope for Brett and Ryan? Bao remains positive about Johnny. But she needs to run! Bao is reading too much into this one conversation.
Next week is hometown visits. But apparently, Ryan is on a dating app, Michaela tells Dr. Pepper in front of Zack that she loves him WTF? Johnny says that he had a conversation with Bao’s best friend who told him damaging things, Wait? This is Bao’s fault now?