It’s time for another RHSLC recap. Are we caught up to the moment when Jen Shah gets arrested by the feds yet? No, no we are not. Le sigh. I hope next season involves Mary and her grandpa/husband being taken away in handcuffs. It seems there are plenty of felons we could be filming in SLC. I really hate Mary’s ironically sacrilegious intro every week. Lisa is awful. Why is her kid bald? Allegedly, the situation between Jennie and her husband is all fake. So I don’t even care to report on the sister wife thing. Jennie is not a great actress.
Meredith and her husband go to lunch. I feel like Seth is more into her than she is to him. It’s basically a business meeting. Are they really going to actually move to Utah? We shall see. They seem to be looking at houses. Meredith and her husband rehash things that married people rehash. There are so many therapy terms in there I don’t believe it.
She Said, She Said
I keep waiting for this episode to start and we are already 20 some odd minutes in. Heather is having a party at the new location for Beauty Lab. It’s for all of her new moms who work for her. You know, because that was so exciting last year. Sorry. I told y’all I was crabby today. However, I am enjoying all of the babies. They are so cute! Whitney and Angie go to talk about all the crap that Lisa pulled on the last episode. My first allegiance at this point is to Meredith. But I am totally team Whitney and Angie when it comes to Lisa. I’m so happy for Heather’s success in business.
Whitney talks about her dinner with Lisa and her husband to Whitney and Angie. Wait! I didn’t realize that Jen Shah is there. It literally makes not sense. Nevertheless, she is and of course she is sticking up for Lisa. Muchlike on RHOBH y’all try to justify why some of the RHOBH Mean Girls stick up for Erika, I imagine you will not argue about Jen sticking up for Lisa. Angie and Lisa were childhood friends. But this will continue on the snowshoeing trip or whatever it is. Angie is so drunk she falls down.
Mary Is A Buzzkill
OMG! Please let this be the trip where Jen gets arrested after the Feds track her down. Oh no, it is not. It’s just a tubing trip. And Mary Martha claims she bought the limo for them to use. Praise the Lord and thank the congregation. Where is Jen? Lisa is pissed that Angie is there. Mary comes for Lisa so I suppose the lines have been drawn. On the other hand, Mary thinks carbonated water hardens your ovaries, so… whatever. Mary gets into it with Lisa the second they get there. Jennie can’t handle all the drama because, “Today is not a good day for her.” She’s ready to go off on someone and I and here for it.
Mary is clearly not a fan of tubing and makes a big scene. Because, that is what they do to secure their checks. FYI none of these people make much money on this show. Bravo has stopped paying newbies. There will be no more huge salaries unless they pull huge numbers. Anyway only six people are left tubing the first three win and he second three lose. I swear I didn’t see Jen Shah until this moment. She has little camera time. So there are seven people and Jen Shah leave’s the team Lisa is on to work against her with the other three. Lisa is pissed.
To make recapping even harder, the losers of the tubing contest have to wear wigs. UGH. Jen Shah’s team lost. YAY! Mary doesn’t eat at lunch. She is harboring resentment because Lisa chooses to Google all the weird shit she says. Angie tries to forgive Lisa and make up with her But Lisa wants an apology? Um, HUH? Lisa loves to claim she is misinterpreted. Lisa says she is done with Angie. She denies everything. Lisa is awful. And very angry about ???? Something. Now she is crying about the gay community? Jennie brings up Mary talking trash about her. Jennie says it is the anniversary of her daughter’s death. She need Mary to back the fuck off her.
Of course Jen wants to tell us she has had multiple miscarriages too. It’s not that I don’t have compassion, it’s just it was a conveniet time to share.