Y’all I am irritated and agitated going into this RHOP recap, so I’m just not going to hold anything back. I cannot wait for this stupid trip to end. I feel like none of us liked last week’s episode. It was rather boring. With only two more episodes to go, THANK YOU JESUS, I am not expecting much.
Is it really only DAY TWO of this trip? I feel like it’s been a week! Apparently, things are about to get crabby. It’s a late night, outdoor, crab boil. It’s cold outside so Gordon makes himself a plate and goes inside. Probably to drink. Karen says that she is sending invitations for her vow renewal ceremony and they need to be opened outside. Meanwhile, there is all sorts of creepy shit happening in the hood. Banjo is not amused. I don’t know how I will deal with this in the future. 🙁 Sorry. Anyway, Eddie’s mother seems to be sort of coming around after refusing to attend her son’s marriage and missing out on the birth of his three children. Gordon wanders back out drunk again. Here we go.
Somehow Gordon has issues with Ashley. He doesn’t seem to remember he was on a bus with the group earlier today. He was bothering Ashley on the bus who was trying to nap. Ashley asks if he has amnesia or Alzheimer’s. Nope he just drinks a lot. Mia starts jawboning with Ashley. She offended by the Alzheimer’s dig. But seriously this was something that happened today and he doesn’t remember it? Please. Then Mia asks where her husband is. She says he is at home with her children. Mia shoots back, are you sure?
What Happened To Good Vibes Only?
The next thing you know, Wendy and her husband have put Karen Huger inside a fake three layer cake. Apparently, Ray asked for a woman to jump out of a cake at his geriatric bachelor party. What could possibly go wrong with this plan? The green eyed bandits are annoyed by the whole thing and think Karen should have been naked. Well, we are disappointed by a lot of things this season but not seeing Karen Huger naked is not one of them. And hopefully, that is the end of this God forsaken trip.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, we are back in Potomac. Everyone gets a box that invites them to the vow renewal. They are supposed to open it outside. I’m not sure everyone was paying attention to that part. It was a box full of live butterflies. It freaked everyone out. Really? I’d love that. Some of them were dead.dead.dead. I just realized the vow renewal will be the finale next week, because I have like four brain cells that are working at the moment. Mia needs to leave her mama drama off the show. That’s a season one cast member mistake.
I Do Not Care About Gizelle’s Poor Parenting Skills
Her own kids tell her that they have no role models for relationships. No truer words have been spoken. Her girls are smarter about life than she is. Is Gizelle finally coming to grips with the damage she and Pastor Holy Whore have done to their three daughters? Meanwhile, Ashley goes to see her shrink. Because if therapy is not on TV then, is it really even therapy? She says that she tries to meet Michael’s needs but he doesn’t want it. Ashley is concerned about post partum cheating, like he did the last time. I love Ashley, but I may care about this less than Gizelle’s parenting. Later, Gizelle goes to her TV therapist about her lack of parenting skills. She’s lying about her sperm donor.
In other extremely exciting news, Wendy is doing some sort of photography for her one wick candles. Wendy’s mother is there and she seems to have resentments toward her. Apparently, productions over-arching storyline was drama between mother and child. No one watches for this. EVERYONE has mother daughter drama. We watch this crap to forget about it. Wendy’s mom puts on her sunglasses and leaves.
Meanwhile, Ashley Opts For The Three Wick Candle
Ashley is setting up some sort of romantic rendezvous with her husband. It’s at the Watergate Hotel. Apparently, Michael used to own it. Ashley tells him about Gordon’s behavior on the trip. There is a small dog barking it’s head off outside my house. Y’all have no idea of all the drama that happens outside my house while I am trying to type and look at the TV. Now there is a lot of car horns. It’s actually way more interesting than this episode. 🙂 Anyway, sorry, she tells Michael that Gordon will be attending the vow renewal.
Michael says he will say hello to Gordon at the vow renewal but not to Candiace or her husband. Then, Ashley says that Brown Dick wants a better relationship with Michael. Michael is not interesting. The only thing missing on this romantic evening is Juan. But somehow they manage to head to the bedroom without him. So I guess it was only a two wick candle that night.
Next week is the finale. Thank you Jesus! And of course everything blows up at Karen’s vow renewal.