Guess who’s back, back again? It’s your girl who’s been DYING to writethe WInter House recap about all of it! Today is my birthday and my Red Sox lost. But, here we are with the RHOH reunion and Winter House. It evens things out a bit! We have our faves from Summer House: Kyle Cooke, Paige DeSorbo, Amanda Batula, Lindsay Hubbard, Luke Gulbranson and Ciara Miller. Southern Charm’s Craig Conover and Austen Kroll are here along with newbies Julia McGuire, Andrea Denver, Gabby Kniery and Jason Cameron . This is a huge cast so please be kind as I find my PCK bearings. Let the shit show begin!
Snowmazing Times Ahead
We are treated to a beautiful montage of Stowe, Vt. The winter house is a gorgeous home with amazing mountain views. Party houses shouldn’t be this nice, just saying. Craig and Austen are the first to arrive. Craig wants to claim a room but Kyle wants to choose the primary room. Because he’s Winter Kyle. Still controlling but in a snowy setting. Shots are downed, boys go sledding. Girls sit around trying to get to know each other. Craig is in a relationship with a girl named Natalie, not on the show. Paige is single. Just noting that for no reason in particular.
Next, a tall drink of water walks in the door. Jason Cameron is HOT. I hope he’s not an asshole. Paige is instantly smitten with newbie Andrea. He’s a model and not tough to look at either. He’s a self proclaimed lady lover from Italy. Jules and Lindsay won’t arrive until the next day, so they will miss out on the room picking. Lots of fighting happens over rooms. What is this, a Housewives trip? Ciara and Paige take the primary room. It’s entertaining to see Paige not give a single fuck and claim the primary room against Kyle’s wishes. Winter Kyle storms out, fully pissed off. God I’ve missed these idiots!
Drunk Kyle Is The Best Kyle
Andrea is hitting it off with the ladies. In a surprising (to me anyway) twist, Lindsay facetimes Austen. They are apparently really close friends who may become more. My mind is blown! The gang get to know each other over dinner. My favorite Kyle, Drunk Kyle, is sitting at the dinner table proclaiming his love for cheese, as his eyes can’t even stay open. A mortified Amanda has to leave the table. She’s mortified over Kyle being so angry about the room situation that he gets shit faced. Girl, we saw your wedding. You’ve signed up for this for the rest of your life. Enjoy!
Winter House Primary Bedroom Loss
After dinner, the gang plays flip cup. Lots of drunken shenanigans ensue. Amanda passes out in Paige’s bed as Kyle passes out in a chair. He then proceeds to go to the bathroom, proclaim his dick IS a dick, then falls on the floor. As a viewer, I want Drunk Kyle on my screen all day, every day. He is hysterical. As a fiance, I would throat punch him then ditch him in the snow. He blames Amanda for not claiming the primary room. He is so mad that he and Amanda are down in the basement bedroom. Or, the lower level as Ramona Singer would call it. It’s refreshing to see Kyle taken down a peg. Nice work Paige!
Speaking of Paige, she has found a new gossip girl in Ciara. They gossip about Kyle and Amanda. Andrea then delivers them coffee, which is a super hot move. Paige and Andrea flirt a lot, though he finds her very “Mean Girls”-ish. That revelation comes as they play truth or dare with the ladies and Jason as the guys ski. Paige finds him so hot that she doesn’t care what he says. Kyle is still talking to the guys about how Amanda didn’t claim the primary room. Dear Gawd. As Sutton Stracke would say, let the mouse go! Austen says he is crushing on Ciara. New girl Julia, Paige’s friend, arrives. Julia already knows Gabby, Jason and Andrea. She and Paige met as child models. I think we’re going to like Julia. She seems bubbly and nice.
A Roid-Induced Rage In The Winter House
At the grocery store, Austen sees a magazine cover with Madison on it. Austen and Madison had a terrible break up. He sees that she’s in the magazine for texting with Arod (allegedly). Austen is rattled and ready to drink. He wants to get drunk and make bad decisions. The house throws a spring break frat party. It’s no Summer House theme party, though. I’m disappointed at the lack of forethought and details. However, the hot tub orgy makes up for it! We get our first double hookup of the season: Austen and Ciara, Paige and Andrea. Drunk Kyle fully approves.
Thank you so much for reading! It’s my first recap in a while, so hopefully it wasn’t terrible. I’m so excited to be back with you all! Tune in next week for more drunken winter fun!