Y’all I just came out of a very intense and loooooooooooog recap of RHOBH Reunion part one. I am emotionally spent. Like I wanted to drown a few of them in a sack like they did in the olden days with unwanted litters of animals. That is an atrocious thing to think about with my elderly dog all cuddled up with me, sort of, he’s sleeping on my leg. But, not so atrocious when I think of these women. So I need to get over my rage before enjoying my favorite show. I meant to do set ups with the tribes. So I would know who was who.
The UA Tribe
UA Tribe (Green) Ricard ,Genie, Shantel (Shan),
Genie is pissed. She had no clue the others were sending Brad home. And I am like have we met his Genie person? Ah yeah, I remember she lost her shit when they lost the last tribal. I’m sorry I know my recaps suck. It’s just all very confusing. Genie says she knows now she is on the bottom in this tribe. She’s going to fight (for her RIGHT TO PARTY! ) Sorry old school reference my mind is full after that RHOBH recap so give me three more weeks and I will do better. Genie says she has been feeding the tribe. She’s been the mom in the kitchen and now they can fend for their damnselves. Good for her. I like her. Banjo is barking at whatever annoys him in the backyard and this makes me happy. He has some fight in him.
Oh this team is going to hell. Shan steps to Genie to say that Brad didn’t tell her about his advantage. Now JD is pissed at Shan. Guess who is going to elimination soon? JD is voting her ass out so clearly this group will be back in tribal council. Shan talks too much shit with too little game other than fucking over the person who was on her side. After Genie wins the reward challenge, JD wants to work with Genie. See below. JD makes Shan give her his extra vote back. And she does. He will probably vote he out twice. So apologies for this recap being a little bit out of order but it is the only way I know how to do it.
A Reward Challenge
Is it me or does it seem like two minutes into the game the is too early for the immunity challenge? Duh, it is the reward challenge. We have seen no other tribes at all! Yet here we are. The winning tribe will have an expert on Fiji to help them with survival methods. The second place winner gets one fish to share among their tribe. I immediately think that production is coming for Luvu who has not lost a challenge yet. JD from UA stumbles. He is going to lose it for his tribe? JD is not the athlete that me or production thought he was. Tiffany manages to catch a ball. Heather on Luvu struggles to throw the ball high enough and is sucking hind tit. Luvu can’t win without the women.
Genie wins it for UA and she is coming in HOT. Luvu finally loses at SOMETHING and it is all lovey on Heather she breaks down crying. The tribe reminds her this is “only reward.” The other teams supported her. UA wins the trip from the expert. Which they need because Genie is not going to feed them anymore. I feel like she will just go off on her own to feed herself. But Heather is WAY TOO HARD ON HERSELF! She did great. Does she know not know how many of us could not have done that? She is amazing in ever episode! Girlfriend, you are great! HOLY HELL! Heather is 52? I love her even more! She’s AMAZING! What a champion she is! She is my favorite after that. Ya
Yase (Yellow Tribe)
Tiffany, Liana, Evvie, Xander
Finally, there is not much camera time for Yase which is good. You know, except for Tiffany. Yase already knows they are the loser team and they are getting that edit a lot so I feel like that means a Yase wins. It make for good TV and production will make that happen. I’ve been doing this for like a decade now. I know how it works. Also know it will not be Tiffany. I apologize for liking her in the beginning. They story of the Yase tribe is they didn’t eat all the little turtles. I would have. They literally do not know how to survive. Let them all get picked off for not seeing protein when it happens.
Okay I need a minute. First, of all, I LOVED Tiffany in her bio. But, I despise her on the show. I would like to think that production pumped her up to make her over confident. But, I’ve had actual sources (on her not the outcome) that say she is this obnoxious in real life. Now we get a scene where she says she is “kicking some ass.” She might be the worst villain ever on this show. As a teacher, I’d remove my kid from her class. She is not living in reality. All of them are so stupid if they don’t make turtle soup. They all deserve to lose. But the foreshadowing was we were counted out but we are not out. Only Xander needs to go to the end at this point.
The UA Tribe (Green) Richard ,Genie, Shantel (Shan), Jairus
Later, I see someone scaling a coconut tree and I thought it might me Naseer. Where is my main man? As it turns out it is the expert on the island that was won in the reward Challenge. . I still say Naseer could have probably done that twice as well and I am missing seeing Naseer. This better not mean he is going home. I WILL NOT TOLERATE After the night I am having! Then he catches them fish and feeds them dinner. So Ricard suddenly thinks he doesn’t need Genie to feed him anymore? WTF? Okay you scale a thirty foot coconut tree and catch a fish then, now that you think you can do it. Asshole.
Luvu Suffers Their First Loss
Deshawn, Sydney, Danny, Naseer, Heather, and Erika
It’s like 2AM here and while that is not so late for me but I can hardly stay awake. And I am only halfway through this episode. Let’s get this done! FINALLY I SEE MY BOYFRIEND NASEER! Never mind. I am perked up now. Sydney can’t get over the fact that she cannot build a fire. Naseer on the other hand can make a fire just buy looking at sticks. I know he lights mine. lol. Erika wants her out. Deshawn is over Erika. So, Deshawn goes to Sydney and tells here that Erika wants her out . He’s a smart player. and plays along with Erika but she is a goner. Maybe And I feel like I could end this recap right here. But we are only 20 minutes in so what is happening here?
OMG Sydney is the reason for the title. She says, “They hate me cause they ain’t me” and for that reason alone she needs to go. On the other hand Deshawn wants to get out Erika. Meanwhile is this not the tribe who hasn’t gotten the fucking third part of the idol because they feel so secure? Sydney need to look for an idol like a truffle pig hunts for truffes. Deshawn wants Erika gone. He thinks they need to throw the challenge. Danny struggles with the idea.
The Elimination Challenge
God, Danny is hot. IJS. It looks like every challenge will be in the water this season. Covid? Basically, Luvu struggles to lose. But, Yase sucks so bad, they still have to lose. Luvu could sit down and eat a burger an still not lose this. That is how bad Yase sucks. But, Naseer, aka my boyfriend is trying to win this challenge on his own. BECAUSE NO ONE KEEPS MY BOYFRIEND IN THE LOOP! He will beat all of your dumb asses. Y’all can’t even make fire! Yase wins? It’s complicated. But UA (green) loses. 🙁
So Shan tries to pull some moves on JD. But she wants him out. She looks to Ricard for help. Shan tries to get him not to use her double vote. That has to send off red flags. Shan wants him to hold his advantage? OH HELL NO. I would vote for her immediately. AND HE GIVES IT TO HER! Jesus. I officially hate Shan. But,
I guess it was good gameplay.
I have no idea who is going home. I don’t think anyone gets the shot in the dark thing. So let’s explain it. I don’t get it. The editing say that JD is going home. JD is voted out. I hate this whole team.