Tonight’s Below Deck Med Recap should be full of me saying “I told you so” to Katie. The final charter guests are “demanding” according to the program guide. And with Lloyd off the vote to go to the hospital, we are a man down on deck, and two stews down in the interior. Yes, two. It was ridiculous for production to think three stews could have ever handled this boat in the first place. I feel like they brought in stews off camera for the last cruise to do beds off camera and wash laundry. They really should do that again.
Here we go, Captain Sandy says that with Lloyd at the hospital the crew will be 3 deckhands and 3 interior. I guess that includes Matthew. Malia, the surprising voice of reason this season, points out how dumb it was to decide to let Delaney go. Well, indirectly at least. This crew was exhausted and sleep deprived last week when the guest could not have been easier. These guest have an anniversary party, 3 magic shows, a giant bouncy house, and a vision of Christ himself on their preference sheets. And that doesn’t include to meal requests.
Yachting While Black
We meet the guests and they start chanting YWB (yachting while black.) They seem lit already. Drinks are already spilling. They are living their best lives. All the guests have clothes to be steamed. Katie is already overwhelmed. The guests love their lunch but the fish is bland. I thoroughly believe this is a production script. There was way too much foreshadowing about the fish. Meanwhile, the Lloyd report is good it was a panic attack. Somehow, Sandy wants to let Lloyd get some rest and rejoin the boat tomorrow. Perhaps she learned how serious those are after her treatment of Hannah. I hate when people say “just a panic attack.” They can be terrifying.
When the charter guests are not on script they are quite fun and funny. OMG the guests on the water toys are hilarious. I’ve always thought it odd that all the guests know how to use them all for the most part. These people need to stick to the slide. lol. They end up in the hot tub laughing about their failed outings. At least no one drowned. Meanwhile, Courtney is steaming and ironing essentially six or more suitcases of clothes. We are getting a lot of footage of that so I assume the script calls for “a problem.” These people all seem to nice to play the villain. I want to be on this cruise.
The Anniversary Dinner
All the guests dressed in head to toe white for the dinner party and look amazing. Better than any Real Housewives white parties that’s for sure. The guests love their dinner. In fact, it was the dinner they had at their wedding anniversary. The guest sort of apologize for the fact they plan to stay up late. Don’t apologize! You’re the guests! They stay up to the wee hours and Katie sends Courtney to bed. This is the time that you make the guests a pitcher of margaritas or something and call it the house specialty. Running trays of six or more drinks at time is a lot for one person.
Zee goes to bed and facetimes with Lloyd to check on him. The guests go to bed at 4:15. Katie is in bed at 4:32. I don’t see how she will wake up in the morning. She is still saying that she made the right decision to go with two stews. She did not. But she did get up four hours later to start her morning. So, props to her for that. Everyone misses Lloyd and hope he will be up to doing something for the talent show. The weather is crap. Lloyd comes back to the boat feeling much better. Captain Sandy wanted to know what caused the panic attack. Lloyd says he just gets very anxious when the charter ends. She offers him her number and says he can call any time.
Rain, Rain Go Away!
It seems like the crew plans to rent an AirBnB house in Split together. That sounds fun if they are not all sick of each other. The guests pass on water sports for the day due to the bad weather. That means the interior needs to entertain them all day. They have some putt putt greens for them to play with. Actually they are practicing their drives hitting balls into the water with inner tubes as the holes.. Zee is a great golfer. His mom used to be a professional golfer and he’s been playing since he was seven. Then they move on to poker and they all have huge stacks of cash. They are having a blast, rain or shine.
Next up, it’s time for the talent show. Zee plays with his balls. Golf balls that is. He’s quite good. Malia sort of walks on her hands. David impressed the audience with some stupid human trick involving his legs that I rewound three times and still didn’t get. But he got 10s from the judges. Katie and Coco do a silly rap. The guests love that too. Go figure. I told you these were fun people.
Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?
Did you guess Captain Sandy? So, of course, Chef Mat is nervous. The first course went well. Then Katie spills a drink on the dinner table. Courtney hit her head. Two of the women have a problem with the entrée because their spinach tastes like beets and they don’t like beets. Apparently, it was in fact beet tops and not spinach. It seems to have been lost in translation. Captain Sandy liked her meal and that is all Chef Mat cares about. Tomorrow is a dreaded beach picnic. Lloyd comes back to the boat feeling much better.
But the night is not over yet. The guests want lots more drinks. They asked for warm cookies they did not get. Everyone is worn out. Katie finally realizes she fucked up by not keeping Delaney. The next morning the guests are shockingly up early. And they each have a bizarro egg dish order. I don’t understand why the chefs allow this. Some do not. Eggs are one of the hardest things to cook perfectly. People lose on the cooking shows over eggs all the time. However, Mat is so stressed he can barely crack an egg. Allegedly. Mat royally screws up breakfast and freaks out.
Next week is the finale! And it looks like everything than could possibly go wrong does. And the quarantined chef shows up on the boat.