The RHOBH recap will be running a bit behind tonight. I overslept a bit and when I woke up, the police were in the hood. The guy who lives right across the street from me, has a new roommate and that roommate has a pit pull. Apparently, someone lured the dog out of the backyard with pizza. So there is a dog napper on the loose! I have a suspect. Also, I feel terrible because on any other day I would have been awake and looking out the window at their side gate. I hope the dog shows back up.
Kathy Hilton Is Buying A New House?
Anyway, it’s time for the finale. And If you have not seen the preview for the reunion, stop what you are doing and go watch it right now. Andy Cohen rips Erika a new one! I didn’t think he had the guts! He basically puts her on trial! I just realized RHOSLC is not a new episode tonight. So, YAY! We start with Erika going to a Chinese restaurant with Crystal. Crystal plans to throw the girls a Chinese New Year Party there. The restaurant is really nice. Crystal says that fighting on New Year’s is really bad luck. Do we really think these women can get through a dinner party without multiple knock down drag out fights? No. No. We do not.
Apparently, Kathy Hilton needs a new bazillion dollar house to live in. I hate moving so much. I can’t imagine how traumatizing this move would be. Sutton comes to see the house. She is still in a boot so one of the guys ends up carrying her into the house. Oh! It is a new house that she is building to sell! That makes more sense. They bought the house to move in but Rick didn’t want to leave the old house. The sale price will be around $53 million. Because of course. Sutton tells Kathy that it is weird Erika is talking to her again like nothing happened.
The Fox Force Five Minus Teddi
The Fucking Four Fucknuts go out to eat together. Or pretend to eat. As they do. But the do get drinks. Right away the start conspiring about Sutton. Kyle happily throws Sutton under the bus to Erika. She tells her that Sutton believe the car accident story. BECAUSE SHE HAS A BRAIN. Erika swears that “her story is true.” We need Maury Povich because the lie detector says, that’s a lie. Erika also says that her story will never change. Then, she tries to tell the story again and seems to not remember her previous lies. Now she is saying that her son came to help her find Tom. How would they know where to look? Even Kyle isn’t buying this new version of the story that changes all the time. Kyle tries to tell Erika that her IG account is a bad look. Erika says she likes trolling the trolls. No food was ordered.
Garcelle went on a very awkward date. For some reason the whole date was in the back of an SUV. Dating sucks. She wants to fire her dating coach. Men should be clamoring to date Garcelle. What is going on there? Oh! It’s time for everyone to arrive at the Chinese New Year Dinner. Crystal looks amazing. I like her when she is not being rude to Sutton. She can be kind of a mean girl. Crystal’s mother and her boyfriend arrive to the dinner. It’s lovely to see them! Kathy Hilton arrives with her date, Elliot Mintz. We’ve seen him before on the show I want to say it was an outdoor party where people were allegedly doing coke in the bathroom? He has to be pushing 80. Maybe Kathy could set him up with Erika Jayne. He’s got money.
The Entrances To This Event Remind Me Of The Red Carpet
Rinna arrives alone in a black sequins catsuit. Ah yes, now we get the flashback scenes to Dorit’s dinner party where everyone except for Erika and Elliot ran off to do coke in the bathroom. At this party there is a candy sculptor making Chinese candies for all of the signs of the Chinese Zodiac. I’m a Dragon, obviously the best sign to be. 🙂 Ironically, Rinna is the bunny. LOL. I love Rinna’s cat suit and short bob wig. Garcelle only fakes it. She’s not impressed. Kyle and Mauricio look amazing as always. Dorit and PK are happy to see Elliot. Garcelle and Rinna try to mend fences. Garcelle wants Rinna to extend an olive branch to their mutual friend Denise. Rinna is not amused.
Erika arrives with the same hairdo as Kyle. It’s a unique style so that seems kind of odd. Sutton arrives with her boyfriend, Michael. I need to know more about him. I am sure he is super rich. Speaking of rich, the dinner party is beautiful! The women all have red envelopes to feed the dragon? for good luck. When the dragons (?) come in everyone at the table pulls out their phones to film it. This dinner is quite the production. Crystal might just save her diamond with this event. It’s spectacular. The food is making me starving. Of course, Kyle has to randomly divert the entire celebration for her favorite past time this season, throwing Sutton under the bus. Sutton tells Erika she doesn’t want to begin the new year with any ill will between them. Erika refuses to reply.
Erika for some reason chats with PK of all people. She doesn’t know about his mocking her lies at this point. Anyway we are on to the desert bar. Kathy tries to counsel Erika. This is my favorite finale party of all time. Perfectly done, Crystal. Once again, Sutton tries to make amends with Erika again.
Sutton finally moved into her new home six months after the six week projected time. Kyle has put the Bel Air house on the market. Part of me thinks she won’t really sell it. She loves that house so much. Kyle and Kathy remain very close. Dorit has added ready to wear gowns to her collection. She designed a special dress for the reunion. PK has named it The Reunion. Lisa Rinna has added acrylic nails to her fashion line and she is thrilled that Amelia is no longer dating Scott Disick. Garcelle is back to shooting The Real in the studio and has stopped dating for now. BTW, I REALLY enjoy The Real. If you are not watching you should. It’s NOTHING like when Tamar was on. It’s a very sweet show. Crystal is hoping to go to China to visit her pop star brother soon. Erika Girardi is in deep shit. The End.