Guess what guys! Guess what! I made it out of the house just before our next 8 monsoon and have supplies! And by supplies I mean dog food, water and wine! LOL. And you know toilet paper and other essentials. So I feel energized by my success ahead of this RHOP recap. Tonight we have the first ever couples trip. At least for this franchise. What could possibly go wrong? LOL.
It Seems That Those With No Man Are Not Going
I am in a good mood and my body is ready for this double recap night. The two best housewives shows currently airing back to back! Anyway, Mia, the new Monique (but not nearly as great) is ready to come for Candiace. She tells her husband, Gordon. she’s ready to fight a bitch. And when it comes to Candiace, I am here for it. Meanwhile Candiace is is trashing Mia to Brown Dick. I tried to make all the photos of the men for this episode, but I had to use a few of the women. I totally forgot the Robyn is building a house. Robyn and Ashley bond over not being fond of Candiace. Robyn hates Wendy too and she is the one hosting the couples trip. Apparently, Gizelle isn’t planning on going on the trip.
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Wendy’s husband Eddie is kind of hot. He’s going on the trip. I’m excited about seeing the men. Ashley’s husband is not coming. Robyn is torn about going on the trip. Karen is going and Ray is supposed to come a day late. We shall see. I don’t think I’ve ever been to Maryland so I am excited to go vicariously through these women. 
Fashion Alert!
I need to stop for a moment and talk about Balenciaga. While I know that many of the housewives get free clothes to wear on the show, I would not think that Balenciaga would do that. However, this is like the third or fourth franchise where someone is wearing a Balenciaga to with the name all over it. So, I feel like they are sending the clothes that no actual rich person would wear as a billboard. It’s actually free advertising with not cost involved at all as long as their name is emblazoned all over it. You’re welcome Balenciaga. If you have plus sizes please send me something in gray without the name all over it. Something tasteful. I do recall (and reminder my recollection is foggy) that Louis Vuitton hated being connected to the housewives franchises. But I’m sure it sold a lot of shoes.
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Gordon and Mia arrive right after Eddie and Wendy. Gordon is going to show out this episode. He’s the Peter Thomas of RHOP. IJS. Wendy shares shots with the foursome and says the theme of the weekend is GVO, Good Vibes Only. BWAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! Never going to happen, girlfriend. Sorry. It’s had for me to remember who is Mia and who is Wendy with the new everything. They are both very pretty and don’t look alike at all. But, it is still hard to remember who is who. Hopefully the husbands will help me out. I can tell the husbands apart. LOL.
Drunken Talk About Strip Clubs ( And Not JUST me)
Karen and Ashley are riding together without their husbands. Ashley left her baby at home with Michael and you know, whoever he is fucking this week. Errrr…. ALLEGEDLY! Candiace arrives with Brown Dick, errr I mean White Chris… I mean Chris. I love Mia and all of her Candiace shade. Everyone is already wasted and talking about strip clubs.
In Atlanta, couples go to strip clubs literally all the time. A WHOLE LOT of important business deals are made in strip clubs. I remember wanting to go to the Pink Pony which is sort of a big deal around her and my boyfriend surprised me with a trip on the way home from Lake Lanier one Saturday (PS if you come to Atlanta NEVER EVER EVER GO to Lake Lanier or Lennox Mall both are death traps). Anyway, we went in the day and it was much fun. He of course had been there a billion times and was bored. I wanted to stay to see Miss Nude USA! (I love a pageant queen) but he dragged me out of there.
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Sorry back on track. Did I mention I have wine for the first time in 90 forevers? Apparently, I missed the part where Gordon talked about how well hung he is. lol. He’s 68 and apparently it still works. I’m not sure I buy that. Askale arrives with her husband Dre. They are walking in to Gordon being drunk off his ass. Everyone drinks more shots. Oh Lord have mercy. Everyone knows Gordon is completely shit faced.
Money Talks, Wealth Whispers
So, Gordon goes outside to get a phone call and gives the phone on speaker to Mia. Then, he tells everyone to listen. He taps the women on the shoulder and tells them to listen. Mia is getting a customized vehicle that she wanted. Gordon really, wants everyone to hear how much money he spent on a car. This is not how actual rich people act. I know actual rich people. You would never know until you know them for a long time. Gordon tells his wife to STFU. And the women are stunned. She’s getting a customized G wagon. I remember reading in Cosmo when I was a kid that real rich people in the south drive a Ford F150 and the others are pretenders.
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The girls all break off to talk about how fucked up Gordon is. Except for Mia. I hate to say this but Candiace is making a lot of sense and is probably the most sober person in the room. I wonder where Ashley is? She probably went to bed like a sane person. But now Candiace and Mia are getting into it with just the girls and all of the your mama comments between Candiace and Mia are coming out. Ashley and Karen are not even there yet. Candiace and Mia get into it. All hell is breaking lose and Ashley and Karen are about to walk into a shit storm. Mia keeps screaming GVO after Candiace starts talking about Mia’s big ass feet. Good Lord. We all have big ass feet if we were raised in the south. Yankees are the ones with little feet! LOL.
All Hell Breaks Loose
Finally, Wendy and Ashley arrive. They are apparently team Mia. I love that Mia calls Candiace “Candy Ass.” Wendy announces that it is time for room assignments. Oh, this is always fun. lol. Someone says, PUT CANDIACE IN THE DUNGEON. Brown Dick says, “No!!! WHAT ABOUT ME!” lol. The people stuck in the cottage on the last trip get to pick first. That sounds fair. Then, Ashley gets to go because she left her child to be there. Next, Mia, then Candiace. Then if Gizelle or Robyn show up they can pick. Candiace is pissed that Wendy said she was mean. Candiace gets into it with Mia. And starts throwing food at her. Actually I think Mia started the food fight first. All of these women are low budget in my low budget opinion. Apparently, production sent the men outside for all the drama.
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Next week, Gordon continues to be EXTREMELY low budget. And the food fight continues. Why do these people agree to look so ridiculous on TV? Gizelle and Robyn show up. Brown Dick tries to get his POS wife out of there. I’m just saying… why do people act like this on TV? If I were in this situation I would leave immediately and I don’t have kids or a husband or pretty much anyone that would be humiliated by my behavior other than me. Isn’t that enough reason not to behave like people raised by wolves?
Between Candiace and Mia, it’s much harder for me to pick a side now than I expected it to be when this season began. On one hand, we know Candiace is awful. On the other, Mia has turned out to be quite awful.
Couldn’t they go outside to toss salad at each other? It’s too bad they didn’t have one of those c.1995 Nickelodeon slime machines to dump salad dressing on both their rude asses.
Candiace comeback is awful but Mia started it by asking her Candiace’s mom about Chris getting paid. She should be thankful to be in the video.
Yeah, that was awful. But then again, so was Candiace dissing Mia’s mother, especially considering the backstory of Mia and her difficult relationship with her mother. Mia and Candiace both love to go for the low blows.
At the very least, we can see why the RHOP producers wanted to keep Candiace on the show. They know they can count on her to go low!
In fairness, everyone except Karen was talking ish about the situation. Mia should’ve been sneaky with her jabs like everyone else and she wouldn’t have been rattled on.
I don’t see what is so egregious about Mia gossiping about Chris. A. they are filming a housewives scene and B. Candiace’s mother is thirstier than any housewife. It makes no sense to me how this would somehow justify the vitriol from Candiace.
Nothing justifies Candiace. She need to GTFO.
THIS!! I think everyone is forgetting about Candiace’s mouth and body shaming a new mom. I don’t buy that she didn’t know about Mia’s mom. Yes, yo momma is ok’d school but once she started with that, she didn’t move on. She was all about the feet and now keeps on with the crap about her mom. Candiace is foul and she is looking to get a physical reaction because she thinks she can play the victim again. She was a hypocrite about Mia’s hand in her face … didn’t she put her hands in Monique’s face? I can’t stand her. Her mom was looking to be shady and would’ve made sure someone asked about Chris being paid. Mia asked. Big deal. Nothing justifies Candiace’s low brow, low blow comments. She gets so worked up and I love that Mia doesn’t react the way Candiace wants her too.
I don’t understand why Ashley has to pick a fight with Candiace all the time. Ashley and Michael are still mad that Chris was a witness to him sexual harassments to the camera man
True. Ashley will NEVER forgive that. She’s just quiet and stealth with her grudge.
Candiace is a straight up provocator, was last season and is this season. You cross the line when you go after someone’s mother. You cross the line when you start throwing things. It sure looks like Candiace is looking for another beatdown this season.
Candy knew nothing about Mia’s mother, and saying ” your mother” is just an old school dig. Mia on the other hand was to shady asking about Chris getting paid as her manager and calling her first-ever video low budget. And Mia tossed the salad.
Nah…. Candiace threw that lettuce first. She did a small little sneak toss thinking no one would see but the cameras caught it.
I can agree – yo momma – is old school. Who knows if Candiace knew about Mia’s mother or not.
Mia wasn’t the only one who had something slick to say about the video. Why so much smoke for just Mia? Candiace called Mia all kinds of Ho’s and her husband a pimp not to mention the comments about Mia’s body. Mia walked awayon at least 2 occasions . The more Mia did not react, the angrier Candiace got and started cussing even more. When that didn’t work, she tossed the salad at Mia first as Mia was walking away. Go back and watch. Mia came back and threw salad back at Candiace.
Mia may be messy and may need therapy but Candiace was the projector telling Mia to get intense therapy. The person Candiace should be mad at first and foremost is her narcissistic mother.
OMG, Mia’s husband is disgusting. I don’t know why people agree to act like that on TV, unless that’s who they really are. The Housewives don’t seem to know how to conduct themselves like mature human beings. I wouldn’t be able to last long in that atmosphere.
I had to fast forward past his parts! Cringe!! He comes across as very creepy and nasty and I don’t want to see him anymore. The second hand embarrassment I felt was next level!
Mia’s husband is a creep! He and Michael will get along quite well.
Mia seems used to her husband’s bad behavior and Ashley is the same. They both are OK with men who don’t know how to behave in public. Alcohol makes it so much worse. I don’t like being embarrassed like that. It was so painful to watch.
This show as had some bad behavior, but this was really bad.
IDK how Mia’s husband got so drunk — I had no idea what he was saying, but it was clearly sexual by all of his pantomine. Way over the line. Mia didn’t care. She claimed his age 65 or something gave him a free pass for whatever he does or says. I wonder how much of those businesses and money Mia managed to get in her name, or if he holds all the purse strings. Otherwise, what self-respecting woman would put up with that, especially with your coworkers and on tv.
Candiace is a lost cause. She is vile with her attacks on people’s appearance and their mothers, especially after being informed of Mia’s mom’s former issues. I assume she is covering for the fact that her mother is paying for everything and has her and brown dick by the pubes. Candiace is one of the worst people ever on the HWs. It is very disgusting how Bravo keeps the worst of the worst just for drama.
Candiace’s come-backs have a tone of homophobia and I can’t stand when she talks about people’s looks. It’s sad she puts so much opinion on how someone looks instead of what is on the inside. i was hoping she would learn from last year when she talked badly about a child, but she hasn’t learned the lesson.
I won’t watch next season if Candiace returns. Vile is the right word for her.
Thanks for the recap TT Mia’s hubs is a whole new level – let’s hope he decides not to drink on camera after this
Is it just me or did Wendy’s Balenciaga coat remind anyone else of police crime scene tape?
Or the “Rambling wreck of Georgia Tech….”
Yes, Fizz, it sure did! I was so distracted by it I didn’t even realize it said Balenciaga.
Thank you for the rcap..
Candiace acting all high & mighty looking down her damn nose in her confessional regarding Gordon, “I don’t care how big your penis is sir, keep that information to yourself.” That little bitch was on camera telling about her husband’s brown dick. She needs to STFU!
I’m not saying Gordon was not A LOT! He got on my nerves with his whole “look at me” theatrics, and especially going around the room telling the others to listen up when he had the guy on the phone telling her about the G-Wagon. Also, his “shut the fuck up” comment was cringeworthy.
I. JUST. CANNOT. STAND. CANDIACE. I can’t stand her whole better than everyone else superiority BS. I despise the low blows about Mia and Ashley’s looks and Mia’s mom. I’m getting very turned off by this season because she is over the top VILE.
At 65, Gordon is too young to be acting like a dirty old man and getting away with it. Even the men were uncomfortable with this behavior. There’s either a problem with alcohol or he has dementia and that’s really why Mia has taken over so much of the day to day business. To me, it didn’t look like she was OK with the way he was acting, it looked like she was just trying to take the focus off of him and put it on herself. As far as Candiace is concerned, she doesn’t have a redeeming quality and needs to find out first had what cancel culture is. I did enjoy the way Wendy assigned rooms to her guests. All of the rooms looked nice, but Candiace (Gizelle/Robyn) having to choose last made the show that much more enjoyable for me.
I am a strange one indeed because I have never disliked not even ONE of the Potomac housewives. I can call them out when they’re wrong, but I think all of them have value. With THAT being said, I was one of the few people on Candiace’s side against Monique last year, not because I didn’t like Monique, (because I did), but because she chose violence and I feel that one should never let another person provoke them to violence. HOWINSOEVER, after watching Candiace THIS season, it is apparent that …..(breathes deeply)….I WAS WRONG. There are lines of common decency that should never be broached, and Candiace continues to broach them every week. If Candiace didn’t know last week about Mia’s mother situation, she certainly knew by this week, and yet she doubled down on the nasty regarding Mia’s mom. That is completely unacceptable, and now, I’m all about Candiace receiving a much needed arse whipping. She loves talking about Mia’s hands and feet being big (even though they are the appropriate size for a woman’s Mia’s height), and it appears as if she wants one of those large feet shoved up one of her orifices since she continues to talk about a woman who she doesn’t know who has never said anything bad about her. Oh, and G is grossly inappropriate and kind of perverted when he drinks, so he should not. Oh, and one last thing. EVERBODY in the south wants or has a F-150. White folk, Black folk; the old and the young, the rich and the poor. If seeing one of those Special Edition XLT Supercrews f-150’s rolling down the street don’t make your heart beat faster, then you, my dear ain’t Southern.
Mia shouldn’t have been messy in Candiace’s business. And this would have never happened.
If all of the housewives minded their own business, it would be the end of the HW franchise, lol.
Candiace is just mean. Her energy is vicious. I’d steer clear of her.
I’m a little concerned about Mia. When Candiace was spewing her nonsense at Mia/Gordon, I think she referred to Gordon as Mia’s pimp and she called Mia a Ho. Then Mia just walked by and said something like, “that’s right, I’m a Ho.” Um….this shows a real lack of self esteem. I hope she works on that because I like her. She was wrong at the low budget video to stir crap up, but she wasn’t the only one.
I love this show.
Candiace is just a mean little insecure girl. At her age I had a ten year career but what has she ever done besides the show? She accepts her mom’s support to live the life she wants but resents her for sticking her nose in her business. If you don’t want mothers in your business, don’t take their money. I would rather live in a one bedroom apartment than have people meddling in my life. I have to wonder why the Mom is supporting her in the first place. I think there is some reason why this adult college educated woman has no job. It is not like Robin, Gizelle and Karen who were housewives raising children. I would love to know why Candiace has never had any type of job. What a waste of money investing in a low budget music video that no one watches. No record company is going to sign someone in their thirties based on a tacky video. Why not spend the money producing a good demo? And Candiace is so jealous of Mia. A college education got her a broke, out of work cook that her Mom has to take care of and the stripper pole got Mia a position as CEO. You know that has to burn. I don’t like it when she calls Mia a ho or Gordan (as disgusting as he is) a pimp. For Mia to do as well as she has despite everything she had to overcome is nothing to sneeze at. I think Candiace has some serious mental health issues and that is why her Mom is around so much. I pick up Katie Rost vibes from Ms. Dillard.
Umm, Mia was being sarcastic when she said that…
I SO hate to ask, but I am a Black Blonde…but what does GVO stand for???
Good Vibes Only.
Thank you! Really feeling like a Black Blonde because I’m watching it now & the just said it! LMAO
Lawd….Mia’s husband really just said “Where the White Women at???” He is #TeamTOOMuch
I’m sorry, but I wish Mia would have kicked Candace in the pussy with her big ass feet. OK, no, I’m not sorry.
Same.
And also where the hell you been? I haven’t seen you in forever!
Gurl, just finished going through my latest menopausal moment….LOL….but I’ve been lurking!
Wtf is wrong with Candiace. The hatred. The immaturity. The irony of having a therapist mother. It just gets worse and worse.
What is Candiace’s obsession with “big” feet?
If bound feet (teeny teeny tiny) represent submission and decadence (men getting off at the reek of Golden Lotus decaying flesh. Hey! Maybe Jax was a wealthy Chinese guy in his past life!), then give me big feet all day.
I so wish someone at the recording studio would do a recording of Candiace without auto tune and “accidentally” leak it over the air. Bwahahahaha! That would rock!
I had to turn the tv, I couldn’t watch it any longer. Candance has been given a platform to degrade people. I can’t continue to watch RHOP. I will come hear to read the the recap, just like I do with RHOA. I had to stop watching it too for the same reason.