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You are here: Home / RHOP / RHOP Recap: Goddesses of War

RHOP Recap: Goddesses of War

September 12, 2021 by tamaratattles 30 Comments

RHOP CandiaceIt’s time for the RHOP recap and honestly, I just want to get through it ASAP to get to RHOSLC. I’ve been dealing with plumbers and restoration people all day and am so ready for all of this. So of course on the busiest night I have had in since Covid Literally everything is malfuctioning at the last moment. I’m just hoping I can get my recaps up tonight! I’m going to try to shut down my laptop and see if that fixes any of the issues. Hold me tight! Oh that did seem to help! YAY!

Okay I am going to try to blast through this. We start at Robyn’s birthday party where Karen and Mia were both excluded. Candiace and Ashley continue to argue about the fact that Candiace keeps body shaming her after her pregnancy. I hate Candiace. I would like to point out along that line that some of the comments lately are getting way out of hand. Please don’t body shame any of the housewives on any franchise. Try to keep things at least slightly civilized. For more information, PLEASE READ OR REREAD The Commenting Rules!

Oh The Fakeness Of It All!

I am so sick of these Karen scenes where she is supposed to be representing a city or a county and doesn’t know WTF she is talking about. She is filming a promo for Surrey County and she is filming it at a golf course in Potomac! But, she clearly doesn’t know a thing about her “hometown/county. ” She herself only goes back to have a storyline for this hot mess of a show!  Karen says that a lot of people don’t know that peanuts come in a shell. No Karen, anyone who has a grade school education knows that peanuts come in a shell. If she knew her black history, she would know about George Washington Carver. There are literally children’s books about him. Maybe she could try reading one of those.

Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here! 

Gizelle talks to her girls about men and why she never wants to get married again. She claims she wants to set a good example for her girls. Welp! That is not happening. They are smarter than she is already and know that Pastor Holy Whore is in fact a whore.

Candiace and her husband basically make up. Candiace doesn’t understand that Chris has a job and doesn’t have time to be her husbandger 24 hours a day. Finally, Candiace realizes she has not been a good wife. Hey, maybe next she will realize she is not a good PERSON.

Wendy and her family go outside to play football. They end up having THE CONVERSATION with their kids. Since Lawn Kid didn’t really have parents. I had to have that conversation with him MANY, MANY, times. He doesn’t watch TV or follow the news. He’s rather isolated and I think he felt that I was being dramatic. I am not sure he ever really got. But having to talk to kids this young and their intelligent questions is just heartbreaking. OMG, this little boy saying he wants to be like Martin Luther King. #allergies

RHOP RecapWait! Having A Fat Vagina Is A Bad Thing?

Karen and Ashley meet at a restaurant to catch up. Karen meets the new baby. It’s hilarious because Ashley’s first kid, Dean can’t stand Karen. Ashley breastfeeds her baby in the restaurant very tastefully. I can’t understand why Americans are so uptight with that. Karen moves straight in to talking about Gizelle’s vagina again. Specifically, her “fat vagina” this time. She is obsessed with Gizelle’s vagina and it’s um… health so to speak. All Karen does is trash Gizelle and accuse her of STDs and saying her vagina is fat. What sort of civilized women do that? And Karen thinks Gizelle owes HER an apology?

Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here! 

Robyn goes to see her new life coach. Once again, she needs medication for her depression from a psychiatrist. Not one of these “new fangled” life coaches. Once again she talks about a friend who screwed her and Juan out of lots of money. The life coach tells her she needs to move the fuck from that. Robyn is not planning a wedding. Which is good. Because Juan doesn’t want to remarry her. Let’s move on.

RHOPThe Godless Goddess Luncheon

Mia is having her full cast Goddess luncheon replete with flower crowns. This means we are up to the full on brawl of housewives. In none of the franchises can they all come together and not get all nasty. Wendy is very salty with Gizelle. I love how all these women whine because they chose to wear heels to a luncheon in the park. Candiace invites everyone except Ashley to be in her “video.” She talks about having to make changes about her husband’s role in her… um … vanity projects.

Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here! 

Next, everyone has to say something nice about everyone. I’ll spare you all the lies. Things go surprising well with this plan. At FIRST. Gizelle is the first one to play the cunty card toward Karen. She is jealous that lot of y’all buy into the whole Grand Dame bullshit and she thinks she is the star of the show. Which she could be if she would just stop feeding into Karen’s provocations. Then, Gizelle acts like she never did anything disrespectful to her family. Wendy extends a tiny olive branch to Gizelle anyway. But, she doesn’t trust her at all. Then Gizelle, in her struggle to be the top dog says that Karen is the one that wants to destroy families. Gizelle says that Karen’s comments about Pastor Holy Whore hurt her and her children. Karen apologizes to Gizelle’s kids and not her. Then she does apologizes to Gizelle.

Then Karen says Gizelle has not apologized for her negative comments about Ray. WTF IS HAPPENING HERE? Karen and Gizelle agreed to let their feud go. NOW LET ME GET TO THIS RHOSLC RECAP!

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Filed Under: RHOP Tagged With: Candiace Dillard, Chris Samuels, Gizelle Bryant, Juan Dixon, Karen Huger, Mia Thornton, Micheal Darby, Monique Samuels, Ray Huger, Real Housewives of Potomac, RHOP, Robin Dixon

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. atdleft says

    September 12, 2021 at 9:09 pm

    Gawd, this show is so messy. Thank goodness they serve such delicious messes. There’s just something about these crazy ass feuds and these over-the-top storylines that somehow makes for good TV.

    Reply
  2. MzzLisa says

    September 13, 2021 at 12:47 am

    Thanks for recapping with all you have going on!!!. I deal with chronic pain, and spent the last 8 weeks dealing with repairs and renovations…it will take me weeks to feel semi-normal again. Meanwhile…I enjoy your recaps!!!!

    I ‘ve never been a Candice fan, but I really really can’t stand her this season. It’s as if not being fired after her altercation with Monique empowered her in the worst way possible. She absolutely body shamed Ashley, and would go ballistic if someone did it to her. I really wish she and her ego would get the heave-ho. Keep Chris! Agree with you 100% on Karen and her fake Citizen of the County (again) story line .

    Thanks TT for reminding us of the commenting rules ❤

    Reply
  3. Pauline says

    September 13, 2021 at 2:26 am

    I really would like to see Gizelle and Karen get along. They can help each other with their story lines and maybe join forces to make Candiace be a halfway decent human being. The scenes from next week just remind me that Candiace’s Apple (or peach) did not fall far from the tree.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      September 13, 2021 at 3:07 am

      It just occurred to me that I don’t think RHOP or RHOSLC hold anything like diamonds or peaches or apples. Maybe RHOP could hold peanuts so that we could all learn that peanuts have shells. lol

      Reply
      • Pauline says

        September 13, 2021 at 6:07 am

        Brilliant! Because, you know, this way everyone would know peanuts come in a shell! 🙇‍♀️😉 (and I am having such a moment because you replied to me!!) YAY!!!!!!

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          September 13, 2021 at 6:42 am

          I AM EXCITED THAT YOU RESPONDED TO ME! lol.

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            September 13, 2021 at 6:44 am

            I’m really not a big deal. lol. And for some reason the sun is coming up.

            Reply
            • Lisa Cantu says

              September 13, 2021 at 3:59 pm

              I think you underestimate your value. I always get excited when you respond directly to one of my post

      • dcphoenix1 says

        September 16, 2021 at 1:41 pm

        Don’t the RHOP ladies hold glasses of champagne or something like that? But, it would be funny if they held peanuts.

        Reply
  4. Navymommy says

    September 13, 2021 at 4:03 am

    What drives me crazy is Karen pronouncing Surry as Siri. I have lived in Hampton Roads for 40 years now and no one, and I mean no one, pronounces it that way. It is pronounced Suh-ree. This has to be some made up shit because they don’t even mention the ferry that takes you directly to Jamestown, Bacon’s Castle or Chippokes State Park. Yeah, you have produce and ham and with the aforementioned places, that’s really about it. It is a very sleepy county with a low population.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      September 13, 2021 at 5:32 am

      Yeah, yeah Miss Smarty pants with TRUE FACTS. But bet you didn’t know peanuts have SHELLS! LOL.

      I didn’t believe this nonsense the first season she did it and this season is even more ridiculous.

      Reply
    • Terri says

      September 13, 2021 at 12:20 pm

      Thank you, Navymommy, for pointing out Karen’s pronunciation of Surry. If I heard her say Siri one more time I was going to throw my shoe at the TV. Candiace is a waste of TV time. I was concerned about Ashley lugging that tiny baby into a restaurant where no one was wearing a mask but the breastfeeding doesn’t bother me at all. It made Karen extremely uncomfortable though. That conversation that Wendy and her husband had with their sons was rough. The conversation Gizelle had with her daughters on the other hand, you’re right, they’re already smarter than she is.

      The one thing I can say about the RHOP is that if there’s food on the table, these ladies are eating! So much food goes to waste on some of the other franchises because so few of them eat.

      Reply
  5. PortiaP says

    September 13, 2021 at 7:52 am

    I don’t like body shaming women at all, but the Potomac women come up with the most ridiculous insults. It’s so wrong but everytime I hear something mean I start laughing. They’re so cruel, and it almost seems they’re excessively over the top because they’re trying to be funny? We should never body shame them, it’s never appropriate to go after someone who opens themselves and their lives on reality tv, no one deserves it, but secretly I’ll keep enjoying their banter. Like, what even is a “fat [email protected][email protected]?”

    Reply
    • Natasha says

      September 13, 2021 at 11:25 am

      I actually laughed out loud at this!
      Yes, these ladies are mostly hilarious with their insults to one another. They are so ridiculous, but for the most part don’t seem malicious (with the exception of Candiace, who often seems to be truly awful).

      Reply
  6. Mrs. Joyce says

    September 13, 2021 at 1:05 pm

    Great recap again… I am so glad I do not have to watch thanks to you.

    Reply
  7. 4paz says

    September 13, 2021 at 4:08 pm

    Robin is definitely depressed. I don’t understand why she is not getting appropriate help. That’s a dangerous storyline. I do think hers is mild, but still…

    Candiace is so petty and nasty. Ashley is not my favorite, but she wasn’t trying to ruin that stupid Williamsburg dinner. Candiace takes all her shit out on her husband and Ashley. Why? She needs to confront Dorothy or take more anger management instead of business management.

    Reply
    • Shannon says

      September 13, 2021 at 11:17 pm

      Robin seems totally depressed but you couldn’t tell in that purple dress. GAWD, that whole look was beautiful. Even Karen complimented her how nice she looked. Now, if she only had that look during the talking heads.

      Reply
      • 4paz says

        September 14, 2021 at 9:09 am

        I know! Robin is gorgeous, and her style is interesting. I love a hit then a miss. It shows how even with money, truly good fashion is hard to pull off.

        Bethenny, you did it best.

        Reply
  8. Lynne says

    September 13, 2021 at 8:11 pm

    Will Someone, Anyone, Please tell me Who the eff is Lawn Kid?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      September 13, 2021 at 10:50 pm

      No.

      Reply
      • Joey says

        September 14, 2021 at 6:58 am

        I miss reading about lawn kid. Did they have the baby?

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          September 14, 2021 at 2:02 pm

          No, I saw her waddling by the other day. For some reason she walks a block or so behind him (even before she was pregnant). I didn’t open the door the last time he knocked. I am not going to give him anymore cash. But I’m conflicted over like a baby carriage or something. I don’t know. I done told that boy not to knock her up. I predicted it years ago.

          “His car” has magically disappeared and I am grateful for that. There is only so much I can do to tell him. He’s just sort of lost and not very smart.

          Reply
      • Lynne says

        September 14, 2021 at 12:41 pm

        I guess we all have our secrets. Lol

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          September 14, 2021 at 2:04 pm

          We’ve talked about Lawn kid for years. Lots of people here have tried to help him out. He’s a kid in my neighborhood who has had a lot of bad breaks in life. But my attempts to help haven’t seemed to change his situation that much. If you put Lawn Kid into the search box you can scroll all the way to the bottom and scroll up for the whole sordid story. 🙂

          Reply
  9. Stlrfan86 says

    September 14, 2021 at 8:33 am

    Has anyone mentioned how these restaurants in the Potomac/DC are using a scan code to view the menu?! Is this a universal thing? If so, I’m about to be too old to eat (in person) at restaurants. I can’t sit in a restaurant and scroll through my tiny phone for food.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      September 14, 2021 at 2:08 pm

      I was thinking the same thing. I don’t have a phone at all. And I travel. Well I did before Banjo stopped being a dog who could have a house sitter or really just be away from me at all, but when the bad thing happens, I want to go SOMEWHERE and now the fancy places are starting to use your iPhone as your ROOM KEY. So I may be too old to eat or be at a nice hotel.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        September 14, 2021 at 2:09 pm

        Also, the iPhone 13 came out today. And I think that is AT LEAST $13,000 in phones alone let alone the phone service.

        Reply
      • Terri says

        September 14, 2021 at 2:17 pm

        In most restaurants you can either use the ap on your phone to pull up the menu & order or they’ll give you a regular, old-fashioned menu. I prefer the old school way.

        Reply
  10. mzzmojo says

    September 15, 2021 at 12:55 am

    I’m in Sacramento area. Post lockdown, most restaurants in my area have those scan codes. I want a real menu, I don’t want to squint at my phone. Lol

    Reply
  11. leslebabe says

    September 15, 2021 at 4:34 pm

    Does anyone know who shoes Robyn had on when meeting her life coach…super cute!

    Reply

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