It’s time for the RHOP recap and honestly, I just want to get through it ASAP to get to RHOSLC. I’ve been dealing with plumbers and restoration people all day and am so ready for all of this. So of course on the busiest night I have had in since Covid Literally everything is malfuctioning at the last moment. I’m just hoping I can get my recaps up tonight! I’m going to try to shut down my laptop and see if that fixes any of the issues. Hold me tight! Oh that did seem to help! YAY!
Okay I am going to try to blast through this. We start at Robyn’s birthday party where Karen and Mia were both excluded. Candiace and Ashley continue to argue about the fact that Candiace keeps body shaming her after her pregnancy. I hate Candiace. I would like to point out along that line that some of the comments lately are getting way out of hand. Please don’t body shame any of the housewives on any franchise. Try to keep things at least slightly civilized. For more information, PLEASE READ OR REREAD The Commenting Rules!
Oh The Fakeness Of It All!
I am so sick of these Karen scenes where she is supposed to be representing a city or a county and doesn’t know WTF she is talking about. She is filming a promo for Surrey County and she is filming it at a golf course in Potomac! But, she clearly doesn’t know a thing about her “hometown/county. ” She herself only goes back to have a storyline for this hot mess of a show! Karen says that a lot of people don’t know that peanuts come in a shell. No Karen, anyone who has a grade school education knows that peanuts come in a shell. If she knew her black history, she would know about George Washington Carver. There are literally children’s books about him. Maybe she could try reading one of those.
Gizelle talks to her girls about men and why she never wants to get married again. She claims she wants to set a good example for her girls. Welp! That is not happening. They are smarter than she is already and know that Pastor Holy Whore is in fact a whore.
Candiace and her husband basically make up. Candiace doesn’t understand that Chris has a job and doesn’t have time to be her husbandger 24 hours a day. Finally, Candiace realizes she has not been a good wife. Hey, maybe next she will realize she is not a good PERSON.
Wendy and her family go outside to play football. They end up having THE CONVERSATION with their kids. Since Lawn Kid didn’t really have parents. I had to have that conversation with him MANY, MANY, times. He doesn’t watch TV or follow the news. He’s rather isolated and I think he felt that I was being dramatic. I am not sure he ever really got. But having to talk to kids this young and their intelligent questions is just heartbreaking. OMG, this little boy saying he wants to be like Martin Luther King. #allergies
Wait! Having A Fat Vagina Is A Bad Thing?
Karen and Ashley meet at a restaurant to catch up. Karen meets the new baby. It’s hilarious because Ashley’s first kid, Dean can’t stand Karen. Ashley breastfeeds her baby in the restaurant very tastefully. I can’t understand why Americans are so uptight with that. Karen moves straight in to talking about Gizelle’s vagina again. Specifically, her “fat vagina” this time. She is obsessed with Gizelle’s vagina and it’s um… health so to speak. All Karen does is trash Gizelle and accuse her of STDs and saying her vagina is fat. What sort of civilized women do that? And Karen thinks Gizelle owes HER an apology?
Robyn goes to see her new life coach. Once again, she needs medication for her depression from a psychiatrist. Not one of these “new fangled” life coaches. Once again she talks about a friend who screwed her and Juan out of lots of money. The life coach tells her she needs to move the fuck from that. Robyn is not planning a wedding. Which is good. Because Juan doesn’t want to remarry her. Let’s move on.
The Godless Goddess Luncheon
Mia is having her full cast Goddess luncheon replete with flower crowns. This means we are up to the full on brawl of housewives. In none of the franchises can they all come together and not get all nasty. Wendy is very salty with Gizelle. I love how all these women whine because they chose to wear heels to a luncheon in the park. Candiace invites everyone except Ashley to be in her “video.” She talks about having to make changes about her husband’s role in her… um … vanity projects.
Next, everyone has to say something nice about everyone. I’ll spare you all the lies. Things go surprising well with this plan. At FIRST. Gizelle is the first one to play the cunty card toward Karen. She is jealous that lot of y’all buy into the whole Grand Dame bullshit and she thinks she is the star of the show. Which she could be if she would just stop feeding into Karen’s provocations. Then, Gizelle acts like she never did anything disrespectful to her family. Wendy extends a tiny olive branch to Gizelle anyway. But, she doesn’t trust her at all. Then Gizelle, in her struggle to be the top dog says that Karen is the one that wants to destroy families. Gizelle says that Karen’s comments about Pastor Holy Whore hurt her and her children. Karen apologizes to Gizelle’s kids and not her. Then she does apologizes to Gizelle.
Then Karen says Gizelle has not apologized for her negative comments about Ray. WTF IS HAPPENING HERE? Karen and Gizelle agreed to let their feud go. NOW LET ME GET TO THIS RHOSLC RECAP!