It’s official, the RHOBH recaps are by far the most read on this site. With RHOSLC a mere four days away, will those recaps be even more popular? There is a reason Bravo keeps their criminals on the show. We tune to to watch them get what is coming to them. On RHONJ and RHOSLC we have seen and will see the housewives following the facts as they are presented. They will talk about the criminals behind their backs. On RHOBH, for some reason we have the ridiculous Fox Five Force who seem determined to go down with the ship. And not just go down with the ship, alienate and/or throw under the bus anyone who has the mental capacity to read a longform article in the New York Times. And anyone who questions all the conflicting stories Erika tells.
He Ain’t Dead And Gone, Honey!
We begin back at the Dinner From Hell where Erika may at any moment quote Vicki Gunvalson and spit out, “I’ve been nailed to the cross like Jesus was!” But first she has to spew spit and venom all over Sutton and her whimsical orange coat. Then Erika says, “Do you want to get sued?” Sutton says no, and Kyle points out that is exactly the point that Sutton is trying to make. Erika says that if Sutton wants to talk about someone’s health issues and you don’t believe that person is going to come after you, you better think again.
So she thinks Tom the guy claiming dementia, is going to come after Sutton? She’s the one trying hard to sell the dementia storyline. Erika thinks Sutton is in over her head. Honey, Sutton could by and sell her ass multiple times over. Erika has no idea who she is messing with.
Dorit blows up on Erika and says they didn’t ask to be in this situation! Kyle brings up again that Erika’s threats are proving Sutton’s point. Erika interrupts Kyle multiple times to say that she (Sutton) should be quiet. Why should Sutton be quiet? She the most soft-spoken person in the room! Dorit says that sounds like at threat and that makes it really uncomfortable for all of us. Dorit in her talking head continues to support Sutton. I am amazed that both Dorit and Kyle actually see Sutton’s point. Erika says she is about to lose her shit. Various idiots tell her to take a deep breath. She does. Then, she looks at Sutton and says, “If you ever call me a liar again, I’m coming for you!”
A Hit Dog Will Howl
Kathy is appalled at the whole situation. It looks like we may not make it to the third and fourth courses! The unmitigated nerve of these people! The soufflé is deflating in the kitchen for fucksake! Meanwhile, Erika is still threatening and “promising” aggression toward Sutton. Again, Dorit and Kyle both tell Erika to stop threatening Sutton. Suddenly, Erika feels like Kyle is also calling her a liar. Kyle never called her a liar either. Erika keeps saying she is not a liar and for people to stop calling her one. Literally, no one has called her a liar! Sutton gets up to leave. She is not used to people “like that” (she’s really not) so she is leaving. Kathy tries to get her to stay.
Garcelle goes out to comfort Sutton. Kyle goes out to comfort her as well. Sutton is crying and talking about Erika’s threats. Kyle explains that she can’t be sued because she said her stories are not adding up for her. Then Garcelle accuses Kyle of winding Erika up. She wasn’t she was just defending Sutton. Sutton leaves. Erika refuses to listen to anyone even hinting that she was being an obnoxious bully. They all make a champagne toast to Kathy. We never found out what the third and fourth courses were.
I’m Sorry You Feel That Way
Next, Lisa Rinna stops by to visit Garcelle. That’s interesting. They don’t even seem to like each other much. The only other time Rinna was over to her house she and Harry Hamlin drove by to drop of some one special sauce because Garcelle really likes it. It the day after the dinner from hell so I suppose they are going to compare notes. Rinna says Garcelle needs to fill her in on some of it because she was really drunk. Garcelle texted Sutton that morning to see if she was okay and she texted back that she was not.
Garcelle tells Rinna that she feels like it is the four of them (Rinna, Kyle, Dorit and Erika) and that she and Sutton and Crystal are on the other side. Rinna totally fakes shock at this comment and denies that is the case. Stevie Wonder could see Garcelle’s point. But, Rinna does the one thing that really irks me and says, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Garcelle says she doesn’t think Rinna ever sticks up for her. She sites several examples of times when Rinna didn’t support her. Not with Erika in La Quinta or with Dorit and Rinna’s lip line launch. Rinna replies that it wasn’t her place to say anything. Garcelle scoffs at that defense because Rinna is always in everyone’s business. Then, Rinna says that Garcelle didn’t say thank you to her enough for her birthday event. Good Grief! Now they really don’t like each other.
In Other Frenemy News…
Sutton and Kyle meet up for a private viewing of an antique auction. I would love to do that but I have been to so many I need to HAVE and antique auction. Some of the really, really expensive jewelry will not be up for auction, it was brought in for their private viewing. The prices on some of the jewelry is very, very low. Even Sutton mentions it. For example, Kyle buys a Cartier panther ring for $4,800! Those are usually $15-20K if they are in fact Cartier. Sutton buys a ring for $3K or so. I didn’t get a good look at it.
Things were going so well, and then they start talking about the night before and Sutton starts screaming at Kyle because she is pissing her off. She says she talks to much like Dorit does sometimes. Sutton walks off and I guess the preview is over. Or not they try to talk things out and then Sutton refers to Kyle as a friend in finger quotes. Now, Kyle is pissed off. Later in a talking head on a completely different day, Kyle says “Your friend Sutton???” with finger quotes and then, “Fuck Off, Sutton.”
Then we have to suffer through a ridiculous “date night ” with Dorit and PK. Even PK knows that Erika is making things worse for herself on social media, especially not acknowledging the victims. He doesn’t but the dementia excuse one bit. Dorit believes everything that Erika says.
Garcelle Throws A Dinner Party
Why is this taking me so long? I’m only half-way through and over a thousand words! Garcelle is having a Haitian dinner party. Her fancy kitchen is on the second floor? How is that a thing? Erika Jayne arrives and apparently didn’t understand the assignment. This is not a zoom meeting. She should have worn some pants. Clearly, she is styling herself now and this ain’t it. Sutton is the last to arrive and things are awkward. However, somehow we get everyone to the table without bloodshed. Dorit starts blathering on about how she met PK. Now one cares. And they make that clear.
The women are not excited about the Haitian food. But they tried it all and pretended to like it. Erika is just scrolling through her phone saying nothing. I’m glad for that. Erika, Rinna and Dorit bail early. The other three ladies stay behind with Sutton. Crystal has not said three words this entire episode. And I appreciate that. Oh now she says that she was with Erika and there is no path forward regarding Sutton from Erika’s perspective. Kyle says that Erika wants SUTTON TO APOLOGIZE TO HER! The hubris! Crystal is totally team Erika.
Next time: Erika says that Tom’s house was broken into and he confronted the burglar and then had to go have eye surgery and the Erika’s son had to go over and help and then he rolled his car over five times on the way home. So wait it was the son that rolled his car five times. Is it me or are Erika’s stories more dramatic every week? Garcelle and Dorit fight.