I’m kind of surprised to be writing a RHOP recap tonight since is a holiday weekend, but I am down for it. The ladies return from Williamsburg and resume their usual dysfunctional lives. I’m not expecting a whole lot of drama tonight. But perhaps they will surprise me.
We start tonight with Mia preparing to meet with her mother. Her mother had a drug or alcohol problem that led to Mia ending up in foster care. Please note her headboard. We will see the headboard late in another scene with another housewife. Ah the scenes are back to back. I didn’t realize that. That makes photo placement more difficult.
The Aftermath Of Williamsburg
Zen Wen talks to her husband who I must say is hotter than I remember. She tells he husband that the person with the most volatile relationship is the one repeating false rumors on her husband. Eddie (?) is hurt that after they told the women their story about how hard they fought to get together that they would deliberately try to harm them. Someone is going to clue me in on why it was so hard for these two to get married. I must have dozed off on that part. I am not as into RHOP as you guys are. I’m more focused on why Zen Wen and Mia both have the same headboard (more or less). Oh I remember, he had to cut off his family to marry Wendy. Eddie says Gizelle is hurt and that is why she hurts people. True.
I puled a photo for the Gizelle and Robyn podcast. But, I doubt this will even be interesting to discuss. In the screenshots I chose from Robyn was just looking down and playing with her pens the whole time. They take about men who cheat. I wonder why. Gizelle starts throwing out random statistics. If I had a podcast with a friend and both of us were still trying to stay with men who were openly cheating on us, I might find another topic. Sorry, I let Banjo out during this scene and popped a turkey pot pie in the oven. (insert cute baby massage scene with Ashley and her Michael here. )
Later, Robyn talks her young son about going to a life coach. She needs a shrink. LOL That is exactly what the life coach tells her. Robyn argues with her. So the life coach lets her make an appointment.
Brown Dick Has Had Enough Of Candiace
At first, Candiace and Chris it seems like they are fine. She does tell Chris that Gizelle accused him of “riding her coattails.” Whatever, Chris has a full-time job in addition to being Candiace’s husbandger for a stupid little music video. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket and if I wanted to spend the money I could go make a music video tomorrow. It’s not like anyone as signed this bitch to a label. Come on. Ashley sings better than Candiace. Chris says that Candiace has always supported him and even worked as a hostess in “his restaurant” when they were short staffed. It’s now his opportunity to support her. Aw, how sweet. She also calls Ashley trash. Candiace is the trash.
But later these two go out to eat and Candiace becomes extremely disrespectful to her husband. I mean why not? She is extremely disrespectful to literally everyone! Apparently, every place now has a place to swipe you cell phone and place your order. I am so fucked. First it was hotel doors, now this? I am going to have to buy a goddamn motherfucking electronic leash where all my moves are tracked. I despise cell phones and DNA family tree crap. Why is everyone else so free with their personal information? Candiace expects Chris to just drop everything he has going on for this dumbass shit. He has an actual career teaching cooking classes and doing private catering for events. She’s making a dumbass video no one cares about. When she tells him to “check HIS attitude!!” He leaves and heads to the golf course.
Mia’s Mother Tells A HEARTBREAKING STORY
Mia meets with her mother. They both immediately order lemoncellos. So maybe it is drugs that were her issue? Her mother tells her that even as a child she would say that Mia gets on her nerves because she acts just like her father. Wow. Who says that to their child. I understand feeling that way but saying that to your kid’s face? Mia asks her mom what her father did to her and she doesn’t want to talk about it. Then, she says he introduced her to drugs. Wow.
She went to work one day and was there for fifteen minutes before she got a call from, I suppose the police. Mia was very young and trying to make herself some oatmeal and spilled it all over herself causing 2nd and 3 degree burns. Her father was in the basement having sex with some woman. She says that is when she realized that he had to go. But, three days later, she felt like she could not live without him. I sort of feel like we should not be watching the poor woman telling her story. Like it is not our business. My heart breaks for her. She tried to commit suicide over her Mia’s dad. At that time she thought it was best to get Mia into a foster home. This was one of the hardest scenes to watch on any Real Housewives franchise for me.
Preparations For The Divorce of Karen and Ray
Karen takes Wendy to go shopping for her second wedding dress for her kiss of divorce vow renewal. The whole thing is absurd and I don’t even believe she is paying for any of the dresses or the venue. The Grand Dame is an illusion with limited finances in my opinion. Mia arrives too. I guess people take free mimosas anyway they can get them. Poor Mia lives near the Canookian border or something. And she drove down for this? She felt like she was pulling up into a warehouse. Because, true facts. However, this the site of the vow renewal. And, the inside is in fact quite lovely.
The dresses that Karen is trying on are all so gaudy. And there is no way she can dance in any of them and that seems to be her point for getting a second dress? Mia says that she was invited to a celebration of Robyn’s birthday for drinks and she noticed that Karen and Wendy were not on the invitation email. Karen doesn’t dislike Gizelle. She also feels like she is hurt over the Pastor Holy Whore thing. So she sends a message to Gizelle through poor Mia who is caught in the middle.
The Requisite Dramatic Sit Down Meal
Gizelle arrives dressed like Cat Woman for Robyn’s birthday bash. Everyone except for Karen and Wendy are invited. I am sure they are counting their lucky stars. OMG that chocker on Gizelle is so bad. I used to love her and get mad when you guys talked about her bad fashion. I can see clearly now. Askale lets Gizelle know that Karen speaks very highly of her. A few of the girls are shocked that Karen is not there. Let me just tell you, the amount of food on this table is insane and in all the photos except this one people are chowing down!
Candiace is surprised that Robyn didn’t invite Wendy because she thought they made up with each other. I get why she is not there. Wendy can’t stand Robyn really. Gizelle asks Ashley if she “added hot sauce” to the situation in Williamsburg. She denies it. Candiace calls Ashley a “ho” and Ashley defends herself. Askale looks like she would rather be anywhere else. Candiace refers to Ashley who just gave birth as “walking into the room with her wide ass” or something. When Ashley points it out she backtracks and says “your wide ass face and you big ass forehead.” And I am paused on Gizelle loving this.
Next time: We have to tolerate another one of Karen’s trips to be crowned Watermelon Queen or whatever it is in her hometown/ County. UGH. Oh wait! She is not even going there. She is faking it from Potomac. LOL. Wendy’s young sons ask their parents about racism. Brown dick and Candiace continue to fight. Karen and Gizelle also continue to butt heads.
Sorry for the length. I don’t know how that happened.
We are finally at the big scene that all of my photos this week are for with six minutes left in the show. I guess the good news is I don’t need to pull photos for next week.