Y’all, I am so not ready for a RHOP recap tonight, or the Shahs one, or the Big Brother one. I’m in a really strange headspace. This used to happen when I was a kid in Libya. I’d tell myself it was a “quiet day.” I don’t really know how to explain it. But, I think I was processing my childhood traumas. I was also worried that my mother might notice. So, I used to go outside the walls of our villa and dig in the sand. One day I found an ancient artifact that is still in a museum in Tripoli. Anyway, I am fine, I’m just sort of out of it and in slow motion kind of. It’s really a pleasant change from being depressed and anxious. I feel calm and sort of in slow motion. Yes, I know I have the crazy. I haven’t done any setups so recaps will be slower and probably less interesting. Apologies.
Babies, Babies Everywhere!
Fuck. I forgot to feed Banjo. He’s not doing too great and doesn’t remind me anymore. Usually, at six o’clock on the dot, he looks at me with an expression that says, “Bitch? Where is my dinner?” Not anymore. Sorry for all the oversharing but it is probably going to happen a lot tonight. I’m struggling to focus. Anyway, Ashley and Michael bring the baby home. How does she still look so pregnant? The baby is adorable. His big brother is adorable too. Mia’s kids are adorable too. They go on a family picnic. The plotline is that Mia works to much. Also, her mother doesn’t want to be involved with the kids.
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Cute scenes with Gizelle and Ashley and the babies. And some poop stories. Candiace is in charge of the first trip to Williamsburg. She “forgot” to invite Ashley. Ashley says she might come for a day. Gizelle catches Ashley up on the Pajama Jam. She goes on to trash Mia for her behavior at that event. Lines have been drawn. As I told you, Mia is the new Monique. Lots of family scenes this episode. We see Wendy and her (allegedly) cheating husband. These reports are from sites that get paid to post lies. IMHO. On the other hand, Wendy is weird. I’d cheat on her. IJS. And with all of her degrees Wendy doesn’t know that she needs to do research her business name and trademark it. And take the steps to start a company. I only have two degrees and I was able to do that without a man. I’m just saying.
And Off We Go!
I know y’all hate Robin but I love her and her depression and her friendship with Gizelle. Mia joins them for lunch. Don’t they hate Mia? They will never be on her side. Mia has a sad story about being sent to foster care because her home situation was violent. Her mom was a drug addict. Mia is slowly working on mending that relationship. Robyn refers to Juan as her husband and says that both of Juan parents died from AIDS due to heroin addictions. Wow. Mia says he day died from AIDS also. That was kind of my first pandemic during high school. I was super scary. There was so much we didn’t know. Yet these two are going to hate on her all season anyway.
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They ladies take a party bus to Williamsburg. Why does Candiace need a microphone? Wendy shows up in some sort of outfit for a teenaged rap fan. Gizelle is as confused as I am. Karen snubs Gizelle. Wendy know how to drop it like it’s hot and twerk. Who knew? They all fail at the stripper pole. I’m kind of shocked by how much they suck. Except for Mia who was decent, but not as good the others seemed to think. Candiace announces who will be in what house with her stupid microphone. Karen has to go to some event recognizing her in her hometown. She has invited Wendy of all people to join her. And Mia.
Welcome To Williamsburg, And The Room Selection Drama
The house in Williamsburg is stunning. They have a private chef. Its really quite lovely. I love Gizelle’s blunt cut wig. I have kinky hair so I covet straight hair. Back in the day, I used to iron my hair on an IRONING BOARD. True facts. The women in the main house pick their rooms. But Robyn wants to change Mia’s room so that Gizelle can be on the same floor with her. WTF? I swear, I’d be like put me in the cottage, y’all all pick your rooms and I’ll take whatever is left. I’m not picky about this kind of petty shit. I’d be a terrible housewife.
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Something is dying outside my house. Or maybe it’s a owl. Banjo and I are both unsettled. I hate birds and sometimes there are some really HUGE ones in my yard. Mia doesn’t seem to care. Gizelle wants to know if there is anyone that would like to apologize. She means Karen. Karen thinks she is she is owed and apology by Gizelle. And BTW, Pastor Holy Whore did have a whole ass baby with someone else. AND, he doesn’t take care of the bajillion kids he already has. Karen points out that Gizelle is living a lie. Again, true facts. Next week, more drama. and Ashley shows up for a day to stir the pot even more. Wendy goes off on the green eyed bandits.
OK, so now it’s starting to make sense. When you first tipped us off on the alliances this season, I scratched my head as to why Wendy and Karen would be on the same team after they fought last season. But now that we’re seeing how Gizelle is being two-faced with Wendy, IMHO we’re seeing Wendy switching sides in real time.
Candiace is so extra. On one hand, her antics do make for good TV. OTOH, I could never take her shit in real life. Gawd, she’s so thirsty all the fucking time!
As messy as she can be sometimes, Karen has really earned my respect. She knows her assignment, and she knows how to get the job done. Her antics this season have been so hilarious!
The RHONY and RHOA producers should check in on RHOP some time and take notes. THIS is how you do “The Real Housewives”.
Gizelle is not being two faced with Wendy, Gizelle is being Gizelle. If you noticed, Wendy kind oftore her tush with Gizelle very early in the season when she told Mia she was not being a good friend to Karen by saying that Gizzy had a “sweet spirit” or something like that. Additionally, Wendy; however, came to Karen and did everything but kiss the crack of her @ss when she asked Karen to be her mentor in her bootleg candle business. She isn’t stupid (she has 4 degrees you know), and knows that it will be almost impossible to be both Gizelle AND Karen’s friend, so she has chosen the person she sees as being more advantageous to her. I get it….it makes sense. It’s not personal, it’s just the business of being a housewife.
I love that Mia didn’t give Robyn and Gizelle they reaction they wanted. Now that is a bad bitch who is comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Mia has obviously suffered a lot of trauma and come out on the other side but you can still hear the pain in her voice when she talks about her mother. She is a good addition to the show. The other ladies should stop trying to shade her because she was a stripper. I wonder how they would have turned out if they had the same obstacles to overcome. Now I realize that Candiace just moved into that big home she can’t afford to furnish, but could home girl have at least put up her clothes and what is with the plastic bags full of clothes? That is the kind of thing the guys on campus used to do when they packed their belongings to return home for the summer. There should be enough closets in that house to at least unpack something. The Williamsburg house was amazing. Who knew?
Agreed on Mia. I am starting to like her. She has an interesting back story and I think she can bring a lot to the show. I can’t stand Wendy and Candiace. They need to go. Gizelle vs. Karen is worth watching. These two will never be friends.
Maybe Ramona can tell Candace how to get “the help” to assist her unpacking.
OK….now THIS is funny!!!!
Right?? What was that massive pile of trashbags in the room while she packed. That house is a mess and she needs help big time if the husbandager can’t organize it.
Wendy’ is too much. We get it you got your dream body, but your traveling with your grown ass girlfriends. stop pretending it’s the high school class trip and you still have a shot with the quarterback.
Love this comment Shawn!!!
I’m sick of looking at Wendy’s titties and ass. This who needs persona is too much.
Whole new
Wendy’s storyline this year is her body, because last year’s sob story about having 4 degrees wasn’t well received. So sad to be that educated and still not know who you are. Gizelle is so thirsty, after last year’s accusation that pastor holy whore had a baby, weird how she coming for Wendy. Gizelle has nothing else going for her so she needs to create drama and conflict to stay relevant. Ray, a man who has succeeded in the business world (to what extent I’m not going to debate) called it as he saw it, her beauty will fade and when that’s gone what’s left? At least everyone else has a relationship, a business, something else going for them. Gizelle is pretty. Pretty fades.
Wendi Is not being her true self, IMHO. She’s transformed her body and going another ratchet route all for TV. Last year was all about worried with the disappointment her mother might have with her to just stop teaching. But that was because they gave so much for her to be an accomplished proud black woman in theUS who is educated. She acting like she’s Wendy from the block. Her mom must be so proud of her now after the conversations they had last year. Her poor children are probably saying who is this woman’s and what have you done to my mother. Please Wendy, you a a proud education black woman who should someone teaching our young girls to look up to. You have Become an educational woman and teach that to our youth. Do be Wendy From The block. It’s demeaning to our youth and there are black females that watch, because you show us, just being”you” is not going over with fans, so now you decided to Sex it up, nastiness and all. You are consumed with your body. Be proud of your body, but your husband should be the only one that it’s for. Stop being so low and. Bring back the “true Wendi” which is who they hired you fired. You didn’t charge your body for you, but for TV. You don’t need this life girl. As said from heart and I’m not “coming for her”. Just wake up. Any like everyone else, you got all these degree and you don’t know how to start a business 🧐🧐🧐🧐
I WHOLEHEAREDLY concur!!
Wendy from the block! Too funny! In the beginning, I was very impressed with her last season, we all need to see educated women of color on TV. I don’t know why she needs to be someone else this season. She was fine how she was, just needed to tone down the arrogance. It’s almost as if she hired a or firm to market herself differently. It’s so strange who she’s become.
*pr firm
Hi Tamara,
I just read about your precious Banjo. I lost my Jackson and I don’t know if I’ll be the same. He was a huge part of my life &! I honestly had no idea how difficult it would be. My heart is with you and my prayers🙏I just hate you are going through this. Please know we are all here for you no matter what. I’ve been a bit quiet lately but you & everyone here are always in my thoughts.
I have been waiting to share this at a time that seemed like a okay one.
15 years ago I lost my puppy I had for 15 years.
I fed her every two hours because I got her from a crack head (didn’t know but could have been a meth lady) and I guess she said that the puppy was ready and she probably needed some cash)
So I didn’t know any better until I finally went to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night and said my puppy won’t eat or drink cause she can’t stand up.
They saved by getting me a bottle, formula etc.
4weeks every two hours I fed her.
She dealt with the traumas of my first 15 years of crazy and Vegas living.
The point is at least one time a month I dream of my puppy and think a lot of her. It has been 15years. I think (know somehow)that she may be at the gates when I get wherever I go.
Sorry for your loss of Jackson.
(The reason why Chris try so much for me to not get another dog, 15 years and he knows that i still have difficulty with the loss)
Writing that caused me to cry, but I think it’s time I share.
Oh Cheryl, thank you for sharing. I’m the same, I don’t share about Jackson. I understand about you dreaming about your precious Puppy who got you through life. I cannot get another pet as the grieving was too much. I also can’t tell you how much your message means to me. Our pets are our family-bottom line. It has helped me to share today too. We are all in this together with our furry friends who honestly make this world a much better place. Banjo is family Tamara❤️
I don’t post this to be depressing just an honest sharing. Thanks again Cheryl.
💛
Jackson and Cheryl – I have grieved the loss of many beloved pets and this poem is what has brought me comfort. ❤️
I cried a ton of tears reading your post.
So sorry for your loss.
I love my animals more than life!
Hope you’re okay. Thank you for sharing
💛
TT – I’ve never cut and paste. Apologies if this is against your commenting rules.
I appreciate that Ashley wasn’t in her skinny jeans 20 minutes after birth… that is reality and I appreciated it beyond compare.
I also really liked how emotional she was about going to have her new baby and that her relationship with her current son would never be the same. Really cool for women to start talking about feelings like this that others may judge
FOR THE RECORD….having four degrees is nothing to brag about. I have five and probably only 5 people in the world know I do (plus y’all now), because those of us that are degree laden and actually paid attention in those barrage of classes know that the more you know…..THE MORE YOU KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW, and that keeps many of us all the more humble. HOWEVER, there are those who it makes insufferable and Wendy is one of those. So I’m not “coming for” Wendy, I’m just so disappointed in how she’s turned out. Now that Wendy has 4 degrees and a plastic body from Dr. “make me beautiful” she’s acting like a she just failed her GED and has to go sell some arse for a living. I think she took “the notes” she probably received last season (“sex it up more, play down your education, no one is interested in that, etc…”) too much to heart and now she is just a run of the mill, average, plastic Bravo housewife, except she seems a bit frenetic and weird and has no storyline except wanting to be a bootleg Martha Stewart with 4 degrees, no business plan and apparently NO CLUE as to what she is doing. Speaking of weird….I guess I am too because I truly like ALL the housewives but Wendy and think they’re making great TV this season…..as usual. The Gizelle/Karen fued is always fun to watch, and I sympathize AND EMPATHIZE with Robyn’s pandemic depression because I’m suffering from it also. Y’all hate Candiace, but she is HILARIOUS to me and is always entertaining. I also take umbrage at the way people make a big deal out of her mother taking “care of her.” When other ethnicities are bankrolled by their parents long into adulthood, no one raises an eyebrow, so I think it’s disingenuous how we (the viewers ) AND the rest of the cast carry on about that. Lastly….I LOVE MIA. Yeah, she’s extra….but it’s AUTHENTIC, and JOYFUL, unlike Wendy’s extra which is as plastic as her bosom.
Mia was very casual about it, but as a kid she went to school one day and never returned home because she was bleeding through her shirt. This is some heavy, heavy shit.
I have frizzy hair too and always envied girls who had straight hair. My sisters and I used to iron each others hair. We went the whole ironing board/iron route — but only when my parents weren’t home because they thought it was a stupid thing to do and that we should love the curly hair God gave us.
I felt sorry for Mia when she was telling her husband about her early life and how she didn’t really have a mother. I felt less sympathy for her when she was on that picnic with her husband and children who were clearly telling her that she works too much and they don’t have enough time with her & she just ignored it. Giving your kids everything financially is fine, but what they’ll remember is that she had minimal time for them and devoted most of her time to her career.
Ashley’s baby is cute, but I could have done without the poopy diaper scene. I’m surprised she’s going to go on the girl’s trip, even if it is just for the day. I wonder if she’s going to bring the baby with her. That house is beautiful, I’d love to stay there.
I have to agree, I like Mia too. I can’t await until Zen Wendy go after Gizelle and as usually Robin is chiming in when nobody was talking to her. She is now Gizelle bodyguard. Can’t wait until next week, I’m sure the fight will be drawn out until the following week. I wish this was on Netflix, so I could watch all the episodes in one day.
my sister uses an iron on her hair. in this year of our lord 2021. with a stylist as a close friend. i have accepted this, and started giving her protectant spray and a deep conditioner every year for her birthday.
Bludgeoned grade schooler vs. frizzie
hair…hmmm