Just before I started setups for this Below Deck Med recap, I rolled the trash out to the curb and check the mail. I was HONKED at by a firetruck who was speeding past with lights but no sirens. I live on a short street. It connects on each end with other streets and one connects two busy streets. Still there is not much reason to use this street unless you are going someone on the street itself. Anyway, as I was working on setups, an ambulance sped by with lights and no siren. I hope everyone is okay. đ At least it seems like love is in the air tonight on Below Deck Med, so let’s focus on the good stuff.
But Will There Be Birthday Sex?
Okay, I’ve only gotten through the quickie recap from last week, and I already feel my blood boiling with hatred for Lexi. I hate that Katie seems not to care about Lexi’s smarting off and complete disrespect of Mathew. She’ll figure out what a bitch Lexi is eventually. Malia, Katie and Lexi mocking Mathew is utterly disgusting. What is wrong with these bitches? Meanwhile the fun people are all in the smoking area and Courtney is not holding back when it comes to Zee. She’s calling him daddy and talking about her WAP. I hope she is on birth control. We don’t need another fatherless child created on a yacht. Zee is definitely hoping for birthday sex.
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Lloyd is ready to release the goose. It’s not exactly what you might be thinking. Apparently, when he gets um, loose… he dances like a goose. Errr, as one does. They all decide to head off for a dance party in the master cabin. On the trip back the boys ride in one van and the girls in another. I’ve never seen this happen before. The guys are all rooting for Zee to get lucky with Courtney. The girls are all drunkenly spanking each other. Everyone seems blackout drunk and going nuts in the master cabin. This is not wise. I’m sure Captain Giant Yawn (I assume that is her middle name) won’t like this. Captain Lee would throw them all overboard.
Let Them Eat Cake
Courtney does some sort of Aussie white girl version of twerking on Zee. He seems to be enjoying it. Chef Mathew made Zee a birthday cake, because he is a nice guy. He does have some what I think are anxiety issues, (because I of all people should know) but he’s a softie at heart. Unless you are a little bitch that eats charter food in his galley and is completely disrespectful. David has the hots for Malia, his boss. Danger there Will Robinson! DANGER! He starts with feeding her cake. Everyone encourages Zee and Courtney to have birthday sex. But did they….?
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Lexi is drunk on the floor and someone has to help her up as she stumbles off to bed. I think she was trying to call her mother. Look, I’m guilty of drunk dialing A LOT. But even if my mother was alive I would never do that. My drunk dialing is mostly limited to you guys, and generally it’s Nanette or “the fiancĂŠ” or both. I’m sure they are both changing their numbers as we speak. Oh Lexi finally gets her mother and she tells her to stop drinking. Lexi slurs “I haven’t drunken anything.” This is why you don’t drunk dial your mother. They always know everything before they even answer the phone. Malia smartly chugs a coconut water before bed. Lexi finally tells Malia that her father died three months ago. Malia is super sweet to her.
Roy Orbison Junior Makes A Return Appearance
The next morning, Courtney has no memory of the night before. Production tries to fill in some details. Roy Orbison Junior is the primary for the next charter, if you missed his first appearance, click here. And here. At the preference sheet meeting we learn the couple is bringing their kids ages 4 and 2, the nanny and some friends from Sweden. They were on charter last year with the very messy and rambunctious kids last year. They want water toys and the last time, they were on it was too windy for all of that. This group always does a short two day trip. And they are big tippers.
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Lexi makes me want to slap her in her fresh mouth. She complains not stop and seems to think she is Matthew’s boss. She’s really an awful person to have to work with. Then she mumbles about having to work with him and she wants to strangle, HIM? Gurl. Have several seats. Katie seems to be picking up on this because she changes the duties for the stews. Lexi is being moved to breakfast and laundry. So she’s basically third stew now. This puts Courtney on dinner service with Chef Mathew. I wonder if he had a hand in this decision somehow. I also just realized his name has only one “T” and he wasn’t listed on the tags.
Fire In The Galley!
Courtney struggles to set of the cribs, allegedly. So Zee and David rush down to help her. Meanwhile, Lloyd tells Captain Yawn that he used to be a very good tennis player who trained at Wimbledon, but he missed out on a lot of his childhood so he quit. Why is this recap so long? Matthew is very excited about this trip. He loves Roy and fam and wants to impress them. So far, so good. Then after lunch, Mathew has a kitchen fire involving a pan of oil. And he puts it out with water? NO! You do not do that! Hit it with a bunch of flour! The grown folks take the babies on the Jetskis. The grown ups enjoy the waterslide. Captain Yawn loves the crew food.
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Lexi continues to bitch about everything. Malia discovers her “burn list” which is essentially a list of people and things she hates. If I had a burn list, my first entry would be Lexi. I hope they have a backup stew for her. Lexi continues to whine about literally everything. She makes Captain Yawn and Malia look like sweethearts. Is that production’s plan? Now suddenly, Lexi is bitching about Katie. She bitches about EVERYONE. WOW! Mathew just let us know that despite cooking for tons of celebrities, he’s never had formal training. Roy O Jr. is completely shitfaced at dinner. Mathew is thrilled that Courtney is on dinner service. She’s fun. Someone asks the stews to please clean the toilet because Roy Jr has pissed all over the place. UGH.
The deck crew has to dock at night in high winds. Roy wants to jump in the water as they are docking. Meanwhile they are having problems with the lines. Someone need to physically take Roy Jr. to bed. Next week, there is are more drunken crew scenes, Lexi is still a PITA to Mathew and the crew has another drunken night. Mat wants to quit again and I do not blame him at all. YMMV. I have no idea why this recap is so long, or why it took forever. Sorry. đ
Wonderful recap thank you đ
I agree with you about the chefs anxiety. I have to wonder out loud if he normally takes meds for this but is unable due to âmaritime lawâ
Captain Lee has said very clearly that if you need meds you can take them on the boat. Basically saying that Captain Sandy is full of shit.
Lexi was complaining that no one told her the plan with the musicians not coming on board, but when I watched again after WWHL, Katie does tell her and starts to provide more instructions, but Lexi shuts it down saying she’s got it.
I think both Katie and Malia are good managers. They pay attention to their staff and provide real -time instructions. I appreciate that Katie wss willing to go clean the peed – on bathroom. Gross! Roy Jr. seems like a nice guy, but that was scary drunk.
I was freaking out when Roy Jr got that drunk. I don’t remember him get drunk like that last time he was on.
I need to go back and watch last yearâs charter with Roy Orbison Jr. I think he MAY have been sober. It hurts my heart to see him like this. Because there is a lot of pain beneath all that drinking. It was Hannahâs interactions last year with Roy Orbison III that made me thing what a great mom she would be.
Lexi is THE WORST EVER. Miss Bahamas is lucky she scored in tge looks department because her personality is in the negative column. Remember Miss B., we all are one car accident away to needing a good personality!
But BYE WIG!!! That wig she wears gives me nightmeres….maybe because it is attached to such a raging bitch….
I â¤ď¸ that you are calling the (lowercase) captain Yawn as belladonna came up with two weeks ago.
I am SHOCKED (or as the Bravolebrities would say âshookâ) that it took us five seasons for someone to think of it!
Itâs so apropos. When she bores us, Yawn. When she pisses us off, Yawn. When weâve HAD IT with her photobombing, Yawn! And GIANT Yawn, even better!
IN this age of technology hard to believe there are no back up cameras on the boat. 2011 FORD he has one. Parking in the dark is made up boat drama
I thought it was sweet that Z did not bring up or make an issue of the drunk kissing with Courtney. He seems like a gentleman. Lexi is just beyond words. I do not like her and I think there is a stew in quarrantine along with another chef. I still like Lloyd, he is goofy and fun. I agree that Mat seems to have a ot of anxiety but that probably helps to make him a good chef. Overall I am enjoying this crew, they seem to get along well for the most part.
Z IS a total gentleman….I really hope he doesn’t hurt himself too badly with that face plant next week!!! It looked pretty knarly…..
And I just want to say I LOVE Lloyd and his goofiness! Also, I would totally go to a reggae bar with his dad and have a few Red Stripes!! Seems like a fun FAM….
I feel for Roy’s wife. The look on her face during dinner says it all.
The chick in the turquoise dress was NOT amused either….
I keep having this weird feeling that Chef Tom is lurking in the wings if Chef Mathew (one T-never a good sign) quits again. And they showed that awkward phone call between Tom and Malia.
Oh fucking boy! The episode 5 is worth suffering through fucking Peacock!
Chef Mathew and Lloyd were on WWHL and they were just as good as Zee and David last week. Other than Lexi (they were very classy but did not like her AT ALL), the crew seems to have bonded and speak quite highly of each other.
Lexi should stop being a yachtie and join the other side aka âyachting.â
I couldnât resist had to watch next weeks episode on Peacock. Wow that blows it all up. Yes Lexi is a super bitch, the chef is , . . . Wait for next week, donât want to spoil it, but it is good.
I really like Katie. She’s not afraid to do the dirty work. She said she ok’d the use of the master suite because she would be the one to clean it in the morning. They HAD to allow them to do that I am sure because of COVID. No dance clubs were probably open.
Lexi is the biggest problem that I can’t STAND (so disrespectful of rank – and WTF does she think Katie should do to Mat? Katie has rank over the Chef, but not necessarily supervisory role over the Chef. Besides, the guy has already walked once!)
I DO have issues with Mat though, and don’t want to give him a pass. One – he should be feeding the crew. He could EASILY just absorb the crew into meal planning and come up with things that would not take him much time to prepare AS he’s cleaning the kitchen, etc.
Two – at dinner out. It wasn’t just Lexi who was uncomfortable with the sex talk he started. The other women weren’t as well. When everyone at your table is telling you to stop that they are uncomfortable – and it is about your sex life? YOU FUCKING STOP. That was giving me such creeper vibes I almost turned it off.
The chef, bosun and chief stew are all the same rank. Usually it is the chief stew reminding the chef of this, not the other way around.
How did I miss what Mat said at dinner that was so bad? I really like Mat. Maybe because we are anxiety buddies. lol.
I could have sworn when the shit went down with Kate and he who shall not be named that horrid last season she had that Capt. Lee tweeted out a ranking thing that showed Kate had rank over the bosun.
but STILL, even with them having same rank – there is no “sticking up” for Lexi in terms of Katie vs. Mat.
OK, went back to rewatch the dinner since I’m working on mindless stuff at work & no one is here. Someone asked where he met his last girlfriend. It was a sex party. OK, fine. I don’t think anyone had any issues with that statement of fact.
but then when someone said “they were glad Dave came to dinner this time and Mat interjected that he loved Dave. Went on to say (like it was related) that he “hadn’t masturbated in a month” and someone should “get him a hooker”. Malia kept telling him to stop. He then started to talk about his performance at sex parties (and I think even started to thrust his pelvis, but he was sitting down). All the women except Lexi started yelling at him to stop. That is why he got up in a snit, stating that he’s worked too hard to not be himself.
And yeah… still have the strong creeper vibes from him.
I also watched episode 5 on Peacock. If you thought you wanted to punch Lexi out before, just wait. For the life of me I canât figure out why all these guys fall for Malia. She has been awful in the past. To two timing with crew mates to the bullshit she pulled with Hannah.
Is it the Premium Plus Peacock that gets you the episodes a week early?
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Courtney really need to cut out that Daddy stuff. Itâs really gross and annoying. Mat definitely has creepy uncle vibes but itâs totally eclipsed by Lexiâs awfulness. I feel bad for her for how she lost her father but this isnât where she needs to be while sheâs grieving. No matter how much she wants to be on TV. And she was obviously like this before he died. Sheâs has that list in her head for awhile now even if she only just wrote it down recently. Has anyone else noticed that Sandy is hovering less in the kitchen and when the guests are eating? Looks like she actually paid attention to her feedback. That said, I still canât stand her. Never liked her, never will.
I really like Katie, she seems to have a good attitude and not not be high handed and likes laundry… nobody likes laundry. Lexi is a twat and grieving doesnât give one a green light to be rude and arrogant. Mat is for sure a creeper, I hate to say he gives me really skeevy vibes. I almost wonder if he uses anxiety as an excuse for pervy behavior? Dunno but I canât handle him at all. All the deckhands seem super sweet, and Lloyd kills me with that damn mustache, I usually hate them but it works for him for whatever reason. Davidâs crush is kind of cute but I fear Malia will chew him up and spit him out. If we have to hear âdaddyâ all season I may throw a brick at my tv.