Tonight is only the second RHOP Recap of the season and there will already be conflict between the new girl, Mia and Wendy. I miss Monique already. But, I predict I will be riding with Mia and her side this season. But, let’s watch with an open mind. Sorta. LOL. UPDATE! IT IS RAINING SO HARD ATM I CAN BARELY HEAR MY TV. HERE COMES THE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING AND BARK IS FREAKING OUT. Sorry if this is more disjointed than normal. Looking at the new season, I am hoping that Mia beats Candiace’s ass. AGAIN. LOL at Mia thinking she can lie about her her age. I’m hoping that Candiace is still holding out in vain for more money that she never got. She also didn’t get the advance on her first payment she asked for. She’s totally the Kim Biermann of RHOP.
Anyway, we are back to Gizelle’s “hot box” and trip to Sing Sing. Karen says that Gizelle is called the First Lady From Hell For a reason. Mia sticks up for Gizelle even though she just met her five seconds ago. This completely contradicts what my exclusive told me. So I expect her to flop over to Karen’s side soon. Or maybe I misread something? We shall see. Karen says to give it five minutes and Gizelle will show her darkness to Mia. I’ve never really ridden with Karen and have been on the green-eyed bandits team. But this may change this season. Karen keeps mocking Robin’s fake engagement to whatshisname.
Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here!
Wendy suddenly wants everyone to know she has a new ass. Even though she lied about it on the last episode. Sigh. I am already falling asleep. I’ve got the narcolepsy thing happening ladies, I slept all day and basically got for to tonight’s THREE recaps IN A FUCKING ROW. So let’s move on. I just skipped through to the ladies leaving Wendy’s place. I’m half and hour behind. Mia apparently lives in Baltimore. She loves her rich older husband. She has three kids, one from hubby one and two from the old man. He husband is retired and she runs her chiropractic companies. She doesn’t seem to get along with the old guy.
Things We Do Not Need To Know
Why are these episodes, supersized. I’m going to zip through Candiace’s fake scenes. It’s all bullshit. I do love the Ashley scenes. I know that is not popular here. But, I don’t care. She has cute kids and sure her husband is kind of a douche but she is not the first housewife to marry for money and have an arrangement. And, it’s really not that expensive to be Ashley. But Ashley has no serious legal charges against her. That said I am zipping through the whole anal sex thing. It’s not necessary to go in to such great detail about how you please your husband. No judgement. It’s just none of my business.
Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here!
I’m so far behind on the longest night of the week and Banjo has to go out but it is POURING. This will not end well. Robyn mocks her BFF Gizelle on national TV. Gizelle is still acting like she still has a relationship with Jamal’s shady ass. She is making it seem like she broke up with him. Even Robyn doesn’t believe that. Gizelle is trying to be the Dorit of RHOP. As if that is something to aspire to. I have a few very expensive things. I can’t think of any of them that have the designer name blasted all over them.
Even More Weirdness
I do admit that I have on at least one occaision sported my Hermes scarf at the Whole Foods where I drive up in my 2007 Honda Civic. But there is no designer name on the scarf in big letters. And I see the acknowledgement in their eyes. I’m usually in sweats. But, I like the looks of confusion. Candiace has to phone in. I wonder if they paid her for that. This was probably taped after she returned to work. Skipping thought he Candiace Crap for time reasons. Karen wants to throw a “love party.” Wendy wants to open a candle business. Because that is a market that needs more product. I’m always saying, we need more scented candle businesses. They are so hard to find,
Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here!
Ashely wants to eat her placenta. Whatever. I’ve never been pregnant and weird shit is happening these days. Then, Karen shows up with a placenta Oh wait, a scented candle, sorry as her invitations to the “love party.” Whatevia. Someone please send me a Whatevia gif. This is becoming the Karen show. She admits she didn’t even know what Sing Sing meant. She just thought it went well with “hot box.” Did ANY OF THESE PEOPLE PROGRESS PAST GRADE FOUR? I’m asking as a teacher because my second grade students were smarter than these bitches. Now my principal? He was totally this dumb. Everyone else gets their love lunch invitation. Candiace has brought in children to make her seem more human. The mother of these kids should never let this happen.
This Season Suck Donkey Dicks
None cares about Gizelle’s relationship with her children. We know FROM THEM she sucks as a mother. On to the Love Lunch. Mia and her husband arrive first. The whole point of this is for Karen to draw Mia into team Karen. And she does. Did the chef just say, “This is dessert?” No chef says that. They explain the dish. Candiace and Brown Dick actually show up. Candiace fondles Wendy’s new butt and greets Mia for the first time. As one does. Ashley is scheduled to arrive at any moment. Mia is asked about he clitioplasty (spellcheck agrees that is not a word) but Mia insists it is because she has so much sex with her elderly husband. Girl friend it my clit was not worn out in the 80s and 90s, yours will be just fine.
Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here!
I’m a bit upset that Candiace didn’t hold out longer. She would not have gotten shit. But still, for me, try that shit again next season Candiace. Karen hates Mia for saying that her husband will probably be dead before she needs surgery. Or something. Y’all this is a fucking stupid show. I’m trying to follow in a torrential downpour and a dog trying his hardest not to go on the floor. Also, Wendy looks so different with all her surgeries and Mia is totally knew I can’t remember who is who in this drama. If EVERYONE COULD KEEP THE SAME FACE ON THESE SHOWS IT WOULD HELP ME A LOT. I HAVE ENOUGHT FACIAL RECOGITION SKILL. There are all sorts of rumors that Wendy was fired. I think she feels Mia is her replacement. Mia is SLAYING.
Happily Married?
Ashley is host of the Happily Married Game… Because Michael did not attend. This is not something I care to reap. I do like the craziest place you have ever had sex question. Most of mine were with the same person who I feel like is dead now based on his erratic behavior. The top two or three were all with him. #1 On a golf course in broad daylight in a golf community that he lived in with multiple houses able to watch.
Get More RHOP Recaps & Tea Here!
#2 Same guy on a car trip from Atlanta to the keys. He was drunk the whole way (I KNOW! we could have all died and then I forced him to pull over after he decided to stop at a strip club and we ended up on a Presidential property, one of the Bushes. We slept in the car but there were outdoor showers that I read in morning letting me know whose property we were on. Then in the Keys on the beach. #Sandhurts. I feel like I can leave this recap here. LOL.
Mia seems awful after this. I AM TRYING TO LIKE HER. But this was boring so I spiced it up for you.
Bravo 👏!!
okay, i gotta say this is sorta gonzo reportage, a new style in recapping a bravo housewives show. between the show itself and your reminiscences, i liked it.
I don’t enjoy Potomac. With Monique gone it sucks. Why Bravo went to great lengths to hype it is crazy to me. Oh, and I hate Wendy. She ruined it for me.
Tell me more about Robyn mocking Gizelle on national TV . . . She’s so up her arse I can’t believe it!
P.s. I can’t stand Wendy either; wouldn’t be surprised if she’s involved in dodgy businesses and scams – WTF?! blathering on about and supporting ‘Casteism’.
Bloody hell – Michael. God knows how Ashley ever let that man touch her with a 10ft Barge Pole, let alone his dick (please note no upper case) but then when you think back on ‘Daddy issues’ episode a few seasons back it all becomes clear – they must have been separated at birth. Bleurghh
Your life reminiscing was far more interesting than this sh—show! 😃
I liked the episode. Wendy is super annoying 🙄
Great recap TT! This episode seemed very disjointed. Or maybe that’s because I feel asleep in the middle, ha!
I’m not sure I’m going to like Mia. Karen seems to have her ear when she should come in open minded with all the women. I didn’t really understand the exchange between Wendy and Mia. Why was there a disagreement?
Why oh why did Ashley need to tell us the details of how she satisfies Michael? Ugh! I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing that!! Is the her way of staying relevant and “Bringing It.” 🤮
Karen saying she didn’t know what Sing Sing meant? I call BS on that!
I think Karen knew, but she realized she went to far and tried to divert from it. Supposedly she was referring to when Giselle had a nervous breakdown over Jamel’s cheating before they got married.
I wish Candiance had stayed gone. Did you see the clip of her new “music” she released yesterday? Awful
I enjoyed the episode. It’s so much more light and fun than the cringefest that was RHOA this year. I actually like to see Gizelle with her girls. It humanizes her and it shows that she CANNOT quite be as bad as she seems sometimes or her kids wouldn’t have turned out so well. Secondly, I have always loved Ashley an she’s always been somewhat forthcoming of her “proclivities” so I don’t even raise an eyebrow when she shares THAT type of information. THEE FUNNY THING WAS….she was talking with HER MOM when we heard all that and her mom didn’t bat an eye, didn’t seem uncomfortable, and even encouraged her in her ummmmmmmmm wifely duties with her husband. Hey TT, did you miss how the ladies alluded to the fact that Mia probably used to be a stripper at the “club” she met her husband at and not a bartender? (Remember when they were playing the couples game and the question was “where did you meet?”) If she was…..that makes me like her even more!!! Wendy may have four degrees, but anyone who wants to sell candles right now is an idiot, Did y’all see how crazy her husband was looking at her when she was talking about it?!? Even he knows it’s a BS move, HOWINSOEVER, EDDIE IS FINE and so is JUAN and I’m always happy to see them. Lastly, Karen seems to be trying too hard,. WHY? Is something going on?
Yes, wifely duties so he won’t stray! (Insert eye roll)
My guess is Karen wants to be queen bee and is trying too hard to get that title!
Candiace gone would have been an improvement. All of her scenes were so fake. I like Chris, but please, someone tell him to shave that growth off of his face and go back to just a scruffy or short beard look. I think Ray was in his element at the Love Lunch. He seems like a very sociable person. I dislike Gizelle more and more every season, but I do love her closet. I think the invitation to the luncheon was a box of candy, but it did look like a candle box. You’re so right about the need for yet another scented candle business. How have we all existed without Wendy’s candles. I don’t think I’m going to be a Mia fan. She’s far too pretentious and not too bright, which is a deadly combination.
Hope the bad weather clears up and you’re feeling better soon.
Quite sure Candiace is majorly financied by her fabulously outspoken mother. Alledgedly.
Her money grab with Bravo is laughable. That woman would film for free to get the attention she’s not getting in real life or at home. Next year she will be paying them to film her transparently banal life. Miss Monique & her children. Loving Miss Karen & Ashley too. Giselle is a tired TRICK & so is Robin. RHOP is top tier entertainment @ Bravo.
Wendy really thinks too highly of herself. While I am not sure about Mia just yet, she was absolutely right that Wendy is an insecure try hard. She told poor Eddie what to write the whole time they played that game. And I believe she had her hands in Mia’s face before Mia returned fire….disher but can’t taker….blah! Candles though??? For why?? 4 degrees and you….nevermind….
Candyass – just NO thank you. An actress? Where? Razzies, here we come. Actually, a Razzie means someone recognized your work as shitty as it was, so she can only hope. Poor Chris….
Gizelle, your kids seem just as uninterested in you as your hot box….
Robin, think for yourself woman…Giz will be your downfall. At least she said what everyone else was thinking about her Lego Land house….
Mia – youz a lie. You had to check your license to see how old you are? Mmmkkaayyy….and Candyass is a white man (ok, that was funny).
I do dig Ashley….one thing she is, is forthcoming, whether we want to hear it or not. Do you boo!
Karen, honey….if you are going to trash someone, go all the way. Don’t stop at Sing Sing. I’m here for it. Although Dean was not having you hahahah!
Can I just say one more time….Wendy – kick rocks! Kick them as hard as your new ass looks!
ANOTHER scented candle company … as Tamara says, just what we all need.
HOWEVER, based on the RUNAWAY SUCCESS of Gweneth “YUK!” Paltrow’s “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, perhaps Wendy can make a killing …
The “This Smells Like Gizelle’s Hot Box” candle. Just think of the GRAPHICS!
The “This Smells Like Juan’s Dick After 1000 Pussies” candle.
The “This Smells Like Karen’s Desperation” candle.
The “This Smells Like Ashley’s Ass” candle.
The possibilities are almost endless.
BWAHAHAHA! In the words of shriveled up Rachel Zoe….I DIE!!!!
Wendy’s candle could be shaped like her cupcakes!
Or a rolled up Diploma lol
OMG you are my hero!
ANOTHER scented candle company … as Tamara says, just what we all need.
HOWEVER, based on the RUNAWAY SUCCESS of Gwyneth “YUK!” Paltrow’s “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, perhaps Wendy can make a killing … (Can you imagine Gwynie sending this to her friends? She HAS!)
The “This Smells Like Gizelle’s Hot Box” candle. Just think of the GRAPHICS!
The “This Smells Like Juan’s Dick After 1000 Pussies” candle.
The “This Smells Like Candiace’s Desperation” candle.
The “This Smells Like Ashley’s Ass” candle.
The possibilities are almost endless.
I just snorted tea thru my nose… best lol ever
Even WORDPRESS Acknowledged that this comment was so good, it needed to be posted twice. Absolutely hysterical.
ITM question…why is Karen wearing her boobs as earrings????????
Wow these women think highly of themselves…………… and Candiass an actress? Lololololololololol
Gizelle is so darn tacky. And now she has a gigantic closet for all of those tacky clothes. Her closet is big with so much potential for glamor but is tacky and rough around the edges – just like her. Her closet reminds me of that awful outfit she wore to that lunch last season for Ashley – it was bike shorts and a sequenced sweater. Just wrong. Her house is just as tacky. Just because it’s expensive and sparkly doesn’t mean you should buy it. I love McKenzie Childs but do you need every piece in the collection? A little goes a long way.
I realllllly dislike Wendy. How about “This candle smells like a cancelled contract”.
Her interior design is as tacky as her clothing! Home girl has zero taste from her clothes, her house and her men…
Hi Tamara, I have been wanting to ask you this for years: Who is Lawn Kid? Did you adopt him? Is he a neighborhood kid that mows your lawn? Are you still buying shoes for him?
Lawn Kid is basically a homeless kid who now lives with his girlfriend somewhere and I suspect she is pregnant. He started mowing my grass when he was in high school and had no one really looking out for him. At some point here you all started sending food and stuff for him. I’ve bought him clothes and feed him for quite some time. Sadly, at some point his needs became more than I could fulfill. I am now trying to distance myself after putting considerable resources toward him. He was basically contacting me several times a day to fix all of his problems. Since the pandemic I was unwilling to have him in close quarters and he was CONSTANTLY asking for money. Someone here who I am not sure is still here was sort of guiding me in my attempt to parent him. However, my new good neighbor was also trying to help and he just demanded more and more, so I’ve pretty much told him he needs to handle his own business now. I should say that I have found him wandering the streets crying on multiple occasions. But nothing I seemed to do seemed to help him in any way. It’s a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story.