Well, here we go again with another RHONY recap. Perhaps, tonight Eboni bind them all to see if they are witches. As the story goes, women were stripped to their undergarments and if they floated they were definitely witches. If they died, whoopsie. they were not. I’m reminded of that test pretty much every time Eboni hurls allegations at the ladies. Perhaps tonight will be different…
Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer
Bershan tries to talk sense into Eboni. She doesn’t want to hear it anymore than Ramona wants to hear her. It takes two open parties for dialogue and Ramona is over it. So stop trying to force feed her your truth every time she’s in the room with you. She’s not interested. You can’t open with, “You have to prove to me you are not a white supremacist before we can talk about anything else.” Oh Lord, we are just now getting to the main event, the dinner table fight. Eboni wants to make an announcement at the dinner table. But before she can, Leah has to make it all about her and start sobbing hysterically. I presume Eboni’s grandmother passed away. I love Lunann’s facial expressions during all of Leah’s histrionics. Leah is a horrible person. Ramona is very sweet to her.
Eboni wants to get a tattoo with Leah tonight. Ramona tells her she should give it a few days. She’s making an emotional decision. Luann considers getting one but eventually decides not to. Bershan and Sonja get into it because Sonja is drunk. Bershan feels like Sonja is saying tattoos are declassē. And so what if she does think that? That’s HERE OPINION! Eboni says it hurt like a bitch. Eboni has some makeup/glam chick following her everywhere she goes. Okay, Erika Jayne. You go on and buy your friends.
Friday The 13th
The next morning is Friday the 13th and Ramona calls Leah to find out when she’s supposed to be ready to leave. Ramona talks 90 miles an hour and it annoys Leah. Leah actually says that RAMONA has a talent for annoying everyone in every single situation. MY GOD. Leah is the most annoying person ever to be on this franchise. And there have been a ton of annoying people on this franchise. Leah is the absolute WORST. Then she complains to Sonja while Ramona is still on the phone. Bershan once again tries to tell Eboni, she should dial back her approach a little bit.
Off we go to Pioneer Village. Oh Lord, it’s a white history lesson. Eboni is going to lose her mind. Only Leah and Sonja are up for dressing “like the oppressors.” Ebony can’t dress up like a colonizer. While Sonja talks about finally being ready to let go of the townhouse now that her kid is in college, Leah and Eboni talk smack about her behind her back. God I hate these two. Leah really doesn’t have a leg to stand on talking about Sonja’s drinking..
The “Grandmas” Are Incontinent
Back at the Hotel, the ladies are painting on the war paint for dinner. Sonja points out that Ramona has shit on the bathroom floor again. She laughs so loud she pees her pants. They both need to be in diapers. The girls head to a cute little Italian restaurant open only for them. Luann starts chatting with the owner in Italian. While the ladies order drinks, Bershan points out that the group is boring and acting like a bunch of Grandmas. Well, most of them are old enough to be Grandmas, sisterfriend. You knew what you were getting into with this crew. Leah tells us that calling the group grandmas is not the way to get to know people. Apparently, calling them white supremacist’s is better, bitch? Leah is the last person to speak on this topic.
Luann seems to find both insults equally objectionable. Then, she tells Bershan that she knows where the fucking door is. WTF? Luann my dear, you are old enough to be a grandmother. So is Sonja and Ramona. Calm down. Bershan meant no offense. Bershan says she is in the middle of several lawsuits, her life is stressful. She’s fighting over her own eggs. And she just hoped the trip would be a little bit lighter and more fun. Sonja is screaming at Bershan and Bershan is giving it right back to her. She tells Sonja she is never normal and always wants to be a fucking clown. Yes, Bershan. That is Sonja’s role, the clown. Ramona’s role is the clueless elitist who honestly doesn’t think her own shit stinks and leaves it all over hotel rooms. Welcome to RHONY!
Did They Ever Get Dinner?
Leah, Luann and Sonja all come for Bershan after she calls Sonja a clown. Ramona says Bershan is her friend. Luann really lays in to Bershan. Bershan doesn’t give a shit. The poor waitress tries to calm the mood by offering to list the specials. Suddenly, for reasons unclear, Ramona decides to dance on top of another table. And Sonja is the clown? Bershan then says that people talk crap about Leah behind her back. Bershan seems a bit drunk. Leah decides to storm off. Then everyone else besides Sonja and Ramona. Then Sonja leaves too. Did they ever even get dinner?
Back at the hotel. Eboni orders a drink. Bershan arrives back at the hotel saying she’s sorry she got drunk. They are not receptive to that apology. Ramona and Sonja are drunk in the elevator going back to their room. Wait. They are actually going to whatever lounge they are at in the hotel. Much drunken stupidity ensues. Nothing worth recapping. Nothing most of them will remember in the morning. Bershan is not winning any points in this situation. She is down to the level of the other girls. She calling Sonja a ho and a bitch and a clown. Is Sonja trying to speak in a blaccent to Bershan? Good Lord, it is stopping here for now but next week, it looks like Sonja and Bershan come to blows. And production has to break up the fight! Leah holds an intervention with Sonja?
I have a feeling we have seen the last of Bershan. I liked her so much until tonight. Le sigh.