I’m super behind on tonight’s Below Deck Med recap because I was late getting to the store to buy Banjo’s dogfood. Had a major panic attack and am still recovering. I hate Kroger because I have to bag my own groceries and by the time I get to the register, I’m out of breath and dying. Thankfully, Lawn Kid came by as I was pulling in and got my groceries in for me. I’m so tired I can barely move. Also, my everything hurts. I need to get back to water waddling. This is ridiculous.
Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today…
The incredibly demanding passengers are planning to get married today if they can stop fighting long enough to say their vows. The weather is not the best. So I am expecting lots of drama. We begin the night before with the loving couple deciding they are not going to get married. Breakfast is awkward but the feuding couple still wants to go through with the ceremony. Matthew is super nervous about the wedding. So is Sandy. It’s her first wedding. The wedding has to happen on the boat due to the weather. Everything is being changed last minute.
Finally, it’s time for the wedding. Then Katie takes a hard fall down the stairs! The stairs on this boat are trying to take out all the crew! Sandy reads her script from her phone. It was less than a minute long. Matthew starts pushing out the food. The drunk new husband cries over a rainbow. The new wife cried too. Apparently, a psychic said her grandfather would show up as a rainbow. Sandy actually compliments Matthew! Will wonders ever cease? Then Matthew drops the wedding cake. I’m literally nodding off watching this I am so exhausted.
To Get Through This Thing Called Life…
Lexi is obnoxious. And basically useless. The guests love the food. Lexi seems to think she outranks the chef. She does not. The guest want more lamb. So Lexi goes to the galley to let Matthew know. THEN SHE STANDS THERE EATING LAMB and walking through Matthew’s sweeping. She tells Matthew just to focus on getting the lamb on the plate. Matthew throws her out of the galley. I don’t see Lexi lasting for the entire charter season. She argues with everyone. She was arguing about the table settings earlier. Ugh RHOP is going to be supersized again next week. That screws up the whole DVR! Just make it the normal hour!
Matt is furious. Then they ran out of lamb because Lexi was stuffing her face with the guests food. The bride and groom basically have a cake fight on the deck. Lexi continues to argue with Matthew. He needs to talk to Katie about her. It’s finally time to offload the guest. This is Malia’s first docking with the new crew. They did a great job in windy conditions. The guests gave the crew plenty of compliments and $1718 each. The crew goes out for the first time. Zee is turning 26 the next day. Lots of drinks all around. David has a crush on Malia. The girls are not feeling the deck crew. Zee has a crush on Courtney. The girls call the guys, “daddy.” Next week, the boatmances begin. Lexi continues to boss Matthew around.