After a much needed hiatus from RHONY recaps, it’s time to do it again. And it seems like we will be going on a road trip to another closed establishment. This time, it’s a haunted hotel? Really? Let’s just get to it.
We’re four minutes in and already talking about dicks. And, yes, it is Leah. Also, the trip to Salem has been given to her by production. Lord help us all. Ramona goes out with Berhan. They talk about Eboni’s trip to Harlem. Neither of them really appreciated it. The Salem trip is for FIVE DAYS. Lord, here our prayer.
Eboni Takes Sonja To Meet A Matchmaker
But first, Eboni is taking Sonja meet with a matchmaker. These two are already giving me a headache. Why are they so loud? They are in a van alone. We can hear you! Eboni complains about Ramona not wanting to have Eboni’s agenda pushed down her throat. Eboni doesn’t seem to take no for an answer. Where the hell does this matchmaker live? Canada? Oh Lord, RHOP starts on Sunday? So that is Shahs and Potomac and Married to Medicine? Why do they do that? Sunday night has good shows I actually want to watch! It seems they are in Philly to meet the matchmaker. Sonja basically says that she wants to marry another rich man. We had to drive to Philly to give that information?
The ladies are taking a tour bus with bunk beds to Salem. It’s a four hour trip. But, if I were on this trip, I’d climb in a bunk and close the curtain and sleep the whole way there. I LOVE Bershan. I really hope she survives the trip. Eboni actually does immediately hit a bed to go take a nap. I think Ramona did too. Meanwhile, Luann, Sonja and Bershan all go online to buy vibrators. Holy crap. Bershan says with her sex toy club the she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer two weeks before her wedding. The doctors said she had three months to live. WOW. She’s been cancer free for 13 years. I love this woman!
She Got The Moon In Her Eye…
Then, the bus pulls up to the hotel in Salem, Mass. The women all have some weird masks that are a cross between the stupid shield and a regular mask. Are there airholes? How do they breath? Anyway the effectiveness isn’t really and issue because the entire cast and crew were tested multiple times a week. There must be some sort of ventilation because they can all smell the hotel flowers. The group is greeted by the hotel’s PR team to tell them the history of the hotel. Short version, it’s haunted. Bershan is like, “y’all know they always kill the black folks first in the horror movies!” During this time they unpacked everyone’s suitcase for them. This leaves Ramona nothing to bitch about except breakfast.
Luann sages her room. Oh apparently Ramona told them to go unpack her bags, because Sonja is bitching about having to unpack. I hate packing and unpacking and repacking and unpacking again. Everyone is getting ready for their leather and latex dinner. Eboni twerks in her latex catsuit. She looks amazing. Of course dinner is at a tattoo parlor so Leah can get another tattoo. Because, aren’t they all? Nothing says fine dining like latex wear in a tattoo parlor.
Sparks Fly From Her Fingertips
Okay, I totally underestimated “the tattoo parlor.” It’s a place called The Black Veil and it has a very Halloween’s decor. It looks like a very interesting place to visit. Has anyone ever been there? Sonja tries to defend her new BFF, Eboni and her preachy ways. Ironically, Eboni seems, unable to hear the message. She starts going on and on about how she wants to kiki with the girls about “boys” and all those things. But, first she has to make sure they are not white supremacists. Really? Here we go again. She’s upped the ante from white fragility to white supremacists. How is she an attorney and a news commentator who can’t read the room? Apparently, they are all white supremacists until they can prove themselves otherwise. Oh Eboni. You could have been such a good edition to the show.
Eboni basically calls Ramona a racist. And um weeeeeeellllll… Ramona is 65 years old and clearly lives in a bubble. She’s too old to be preached at by someone half her age with half of her life experiences. When she was born segregation of legal. You can’t just come in and call her racist and expect her to change her ways. The younger generations are changing those ways. Everyone is trying to tell Eboni that she is a one trick pony who doesn’t want to have conversations with any of them and just wants to imply they are white supremacists.
Echoed Voices In The Night
Leah starts spewing garbage and I just can’t with her. She starts telling Ramona to STFU. They go back and forth. Are we having fun yet? Leah calls Ramona a fucking moron and tells her she is what is wrong in the world. Why was Leah’s trashy ass even cast on this show? And why for the love of God, does Eboni sink to Leah’s level? Bershan looks like she wants to crawl in a hole and die. But, she tries to speak and gets shut down. Ramona is excusing herself to the ladies room. Eboni screams at her, “Do you want to remain ignorant?” Again, I can’t believe someone as success as Eboni in a profession that requires persuasion is this bad at communication. I understand why Leah name calls, she’s a moron. But, I’d think Eboni would have better communication skills.
I’ve never in my life seen getting in someone’s face and calling them a racist end with the person having some great revelation about their discriminatory practices. Bershan convinces Ramona to stay. Bershan tries to explain this very thing to Eboni. But, just like Ramona doesn’t want to hear from Eboni, Eboni doesn’t want hear from Bershan. Eboni comes for Ramona because she is a Trump supporter. Then Eboni admits her own mother voted for Trump. Ramona walks off and I don’t blame her. Bershan tries to turn the heat down but Eboni keeps ramping it up. These knockdown drag out arguments are not leading to any understanding on either side. Leah says Ramona barely know the English language? Leah is the one who was kicked out of every school she ever attended. Ramona is studying for the real estate exam.
Ramona comes back and wants to play a game. She does a little dance. Leah says in a talking head that Ramona doing “the white dance” is something she will never live down. Oh, Lord. Leah hurls more insults. Luann has finally had enough and walks away. Sonja walks away. Well that was fun. I’m sure the people at the event site all have their jaws on the floor.
Next week: MOTS. Leah cries for Eboni’s suffering. I’m not sure I can do this same recap over and over and over again. People need to just refuse to tape with Eboni and Leah. Give Bershan an apple next season.