I’m BACK! Live recapping Bravo! Sorry about last week. Tonight’s Below Deck Med recap continues with the longest first day of charter ever. I have to say I am not hating this season that much. It seems that production has told the scissor sisters that we do not like Malia living in Captain Sandy’s asshole. Malia is at least slightly more likeable when she is away from Sandy. I’m doing this prep at 7:30 p.m. and it will not be dark until 9 p.m. or so but the fucking fireworks have already started. I just dosed Banjo and hopes is kicks in in time. Meanwhile, I am watching American Cup soccer semi-final between Peru and Brazil. Peru has a superb goalie, but will that be enough to stop the powerhouse favorite, Brazil? The really need to get the ball!
Will Matthew Be Back?
The crew is trying to suck up to the guests after a distavorous dinner service with no chef. Finally, the get the guests to bed and try to clean up the kitchen. Lexi, who never mentions she was Miss Bahamas, reminds up she was once Miss Bahamas. She is very pretty. But, it seems she is going to be the problem stew. Lloyd is… well he is just a bit strange. The next morning the crew has to make breakfast. I could make bacon, pancakes and cut up fruit. But, I don’t eat eggs. I do fry them occasionally for Banjo and he likes them. 🙂 Lexi calls her mom and tells her how hard the first charter has been. We then discover that her Dad died just a few months prior to charter. He had a sudden brain aneurism. Because of the pandemic they could not be with him at the end. Wow.
Banjo is resting comfortably on his Benadryl and CBD gummy. It’s dark and so far things seem to be calming down! Meanwhile, Matthew is coming back to do breakfast and everyone was relieved. David has a thing for Malia. Beware, David! Beware! Zee has his eye on Courtney. Zee is cuter to me for some reason. Matthew wants the crew to do their own food. Really? Is he back or isn’t he?
The Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties
These guests have a lot of demands, a bachelor party, a bachelorette party, a wedding, I think there might even be a birthday event. It’s just insane. They have a Gigantic inflatable unicorn for the bachelorette party. And the guys are going out on the tinder I think. I wish I had a blood Mary. I haven’t had one in ages and the last one I had wasn’t very good. Matthew sends the deckhands down the stairs to get kale and radishes and they have no idea what either of them look like. Honestly? I’ve never seen kale either. Because, kale.
These guests’ drink orders are obnoxious. Captain Sandy offers to sort out the enormous produce delivery for Mathew. Apparently Mathew spells his name with only one “T”. The guests love Mat’s food. Malia teaches Zee the basics. I don’t think he’s ever been a deckhand before. Meanwhile, Lexi is sucking up hard to the chef. As the bachelor’s load into a boat, they point out that there is a loose jetski floating around. I guess Zee didn’t learn how to tie knots after all. Malia doesn’t get mad. She too has lost a jetski. So it is a right of passage. Is it me? Or is this a very slow episode?
If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another
Courtney and Lexi have a girl chat about all the female guests being gold diggers. Not in a bad way, in an aspirational way. LOL. The guys “bachelor party” is a fishing trip. They are not having any luck and ak for a fake fish from the kitchen to pretend like they caught something. Sandy informs Mathew that he actually does have to make food for the crew as well. Is this his first yacht gig? Even I know that. Lloyd has the hots for Katie. Good grief. He makes her tea. Katie tells us for the millionth time that she had seven stews on her last charter.
On top of everything else, it suddenly starts pouring rain during dinner. The guests love Mathew’s food. He even cooked “the fish they caught.” LOL. The guests have to move inside to a new table because of the weather and Mathew had the food plated and ready to go. He’s starting to spazz out. Generally, chefs are asshole who think they are God’s gift. I’ve never seen a chef that is so… self-doubting. The guests rave about his food. I love crème brulee.I think the first time I had it was at Elephant Walk a kind of fancy restaurant in Destin, Florida. Sooooo good. Lexi continues to be two-faced. She sucks up to Mathew to his face and trashes him in interviews. She’s awful.
The soon to be bride and groom and a huge drunken argument in their room and the stews are all listening to it. They are going to hate this episode. They both say they are not getting married the next day. The crew hopes that they stick with that plan, but of course they will not. Now I have to go see who won the game. I hate that they do it in primetime. It’s probably Brazil.