I’m BACK! Live recapping Bravo! Sorry about last week. Tonight’s Below Deck Med recap continues with the longest first day of charter ever. I have to say I am not hating this season that much. It seems that production has told the scissor sisters that we do not like Malia living in Captain Sandy’s asshole. Malia is at least slightly more likeable when she is away from Sandy. I’m doing this prep at 7:30 p.m. and it will not be dark until 9 p.m. or so but the fucking fireworks have already started. I just dosed Banjo and hopes is kicks in in time. Meanwhile, I am watching American Cup soccer semi-final between Peru and Brazil. Peru has a superb goalie, but will that be enough to stop the powerhouse favorite, Brazil? The really need to get the ball!

Will Matthew Be Back?
The crew is trying to suck up to the guests after a distavorous dinner service with no chef. Finally, the get the guests to bed and try to clean up the kitchen. Lexi, who never mentions she was Miss Bahamas, reminds up she was once Miss Bahamas. She is very pretty. But, it seems she is going to be the problem stew. Lloyd is… well he is just a bit strange. The next morning the crew has to make breakfast. I could make bacon, pancakes and cut up fruit. But, I don’t eat eggs. I do fry them occasionally for Banjo and he likes them. š Lexi calls her mom and tells her how hard the first charter has been. We then discover that her Dad died just a few months prior to charter. He had a sudden brain aneurism. Because of the pandemic they could not be with him at the end. Wow.
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Banjo is resting comfortably on his Benadryl and CBD gummy. It’s dark and so far things seem to be calming down! Meanwhile, Matthew is coming back to do breakfast and everyone was relieved. David has a thing for Malia. Beware, David! Beware! Zee has his eye on Courtney. Zee is cuter to me for some reason. Matthew wants the crew to do their own food. Really? Is he back or isn’t he?
The Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties
These guests have a lot of demands, a bachelor party, a bachelorette party, a wedding, I think there might even be a birthday event. It’s just insane. They have a Gigantic inflatable unicorn for the bachelorette party. And the guys are going out on the tinder I think. I wish I had a blood Mary. I haven’t had one in ages and the last one I had wasn’t very good. Matthew sends the deckhands down the stairs to get kale and radishes and they have no idea what either of them look like. Honestly? I’ve never seen kale either. Because, kale.
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These guests’ drink orders are obnoxious. Captain Sandy offers to sort out the enormous produce delivery for Mathew. Apparently Mathew spells his name with only one “T”. The guests love Mat’s food. Malia teaches Zee the basics. I don’t think he’s ever been a deckhand before. Meanwhile, Lexi is sucking up hard to the chef. As the bachelor’s load into a boat, they point out that there is a loose jetski floating around. I guess Zee didn’t learn how to tie knots after all.Ā Malia doesn’t get mad. She too has lost a jetski. So it is a right of passage. Is it me? Or is this a very slow episode?
If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another
Courtney and Lexi have a girl chat about all the female guests being gold diggers. Not in a bad way, in an aspirational way. LOL. The guys “bachelor party” is a fishing trip. They are not having any luck and ak for a fake fish from the kitchen to pretend like they caught something. Sandy informs Mathew that he actually does have to make food for the crew as well. Is this his first yacht gig? Even I know that. Lloyd has the hots for Katie. Good grief. He makes her tea. Katie tells us for the millionth time that she had seven stews on her last charter.
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On top of everything else, it suddenly starts pouring rain during dinner. The guests love Mathew’s food. He even cooked “the fish they caught.” LOL. The guests have to move inside to a new table because of the weather and Mathew had the food plated and ready to go. He’s starting to spazz out. Generally, chefs are asshole who think they are God’s gift. I’ve never seen a chef that is so… self-doubting. The guests rave about his food. I love crĆØme brulee.I think the first time I had it was at Elephant Walk a kind of fancy restaurant in Destin, Florida. Sooooo good. Lexi continues to be two-faced. She sucks up to Mathew to his face and trashes him in interviews. She’s awful.
The soon to be bride and groom and a huge drunken argument in their room and the stews are all listening to it. They are going to hate this episode. They both say they are not getting married the next day. The crew hopes that they stick with that plan, but of course they will not. Now I have to go see who won the game. I hate that they do it in primetime. It’s probably Brazil.
Will still NEVER watch and give that twat Sandy a single, minuscule rating, but, I will guilty pleasure the heck out of your recaps!!
Ditto! Love TT Recaps!!
Ditto!
Same
Glad your television service is back up! I wasn’t fully paying attention to parts of the episode. Your right this episode was a bit slow but still fulfilling. I am not sure what this season is about. As in the big thing we are waiting for like last season the drug situation or on sailing yacht the crash.
I watched, yes it was slower but i didn’t hate it! Yes they must have gotten to the scissor sisters because they aren’t too bad right now. Who’s not loving the irony of chef Mathew with all his anxiety and Sandy having to hold his hand, lol. I dunno feels a bit revengish from Hannah last year. Making the staff eat sandwiches, that chef is a real twat. Maybe they can eat all that excess food he ordered but they have to cook it themselves, on the panini!
I may in the minority but I like Mat-with -one-T. I can empathize with his anxiety. Yes he is a chef with experience. I was a teacher with experience but I still had anxiety the first days of a new school year. New boat, new crew and captain and a crappy set up for storing the galley supplies with no time to get familiar with everything before he gets hurt and leaves the boat. So….ease him back in so he can get some confidence and the crew can fend for themselves for a meal or two. Lexi is stil the problem child, I don’t care for her too much. Katie should have told them up front she is a stickler for proper table settings. All-in-all they seem to work together well, stepping in to help out in the galley and wash dishes or whatever. I like Zee and David and Courtney (I think that is her name).
…and Lloyd. He seems easy to get a long with and funny.
I recorded this episode for something to watch when I’m awake too early. I’m not hating it. Not a lot of Yawn and Malia. I’m really liking Lexi. Mzi struggling with the unicorn thing. So adorable.
Soooo good. I am going to call her Yawn from now on. Because Cuntain Sandy is too long and in the gray area of the rules. Because I am an abysmal typist. It could be a typo. And the abbreviation would be Cunt. Sandy, which I kinda like.
I like Cuntain Sandy, but yes she does appear to be more mellow so far! I have a feeling the original nickname will become relevant againš
OTOH Even Nanette is not immune from following the commenting rules.
I didn’t call her Captain Sandy Yawn, but that’s her title.Yawn was not as a pejorative.
I was talking about Nanette and Annabelle above.
What happened with the “crew food”? Is he not cooking for the crew?
Heās trying to āease inā by focusing only on cooking for the guests. I remember several BD chefs saying there usually is another chef who does prep and crew meals. I think they do the breakfast orders too.
When there is only one chef on board, they are not cooking for tons of people, like in a restaurant, but they are working many hoursā just prepping and serving breakfast, lunch and dinner doesnāt leave a large block of time for sleep when a guest invariably gets the munchies after hours of drinking.
Observation: Had it on while doing stuff and heard Sandy say “I only know I have to follow protocol.” Why does she say this? Why does she use the word “protocol” so often? I don’t think I’ve ever heard Capt. Lee use it once. Why does she have to say it aloud? Shouldn’t it just be second nature being, oh I don’t know, THE ALLEGED CAPTAIN of a huge yacht to ALWAYS follow protocol? Without having to bring it up. God, she bugs the rap out of me.
Guilty conscience Iām sure! Most of what she says is becoming increasingly moot!
Does she follow protocol giving herself a bullshit enema every morning?
I don’t watch this show, but I read your recaps and that’s all I need. Now if it happens to be on if I’m flicking channels, I’ll stick with it for a while. My main question and reason for this post is: My pain doctor finally gave the ok for CBD oil. I’m not such a trusting person, but TT I do trust. Where do you get yours from? I need a little something something extra to help with my back pain. Email me privately if you want to. Thanks, and I hope Banjo did good. My cat spent the whole night in the closet, my poor baby.
I don’t use the oil, and I have gummies but I don’t usually use them either. Someone here sent me to CBD MD. But, really not the one to ask.
The company TT mentions is where I go for mine. I keep a jar of the gummies by my bedside and for those nights when my mind won’t shut off I reach over and take a “chew.” It helps me get to sleep in a short period of time and does not leave me fuzzy in the morning. I have also used the oil. I find them resaonably priced. Hope that helps!
Thank you RubyLuby šš
Was going to go there first. I need something to shut my mind off as well. š
Thanks anyways my dear. I’ll spend a few days looking thru the Internet to see what I can see.
No matter where you get it, you need to figure out if you want THC in it or not.
The Full Spectrum has THC, which will show up on a test.
The Broad Spectrum has TRACE THC, which will not show up in a test.
The Isolate has no THC.
I hate THC, but I love CBD!
Does anyone interview the chefs or are they hired by CV only?
The chef is cast just like all the other cast members. I’m not sure if they have to go through the training courses required for working on a boat, but they probably do if they have not already done them elsewhere. I feel like Adam and one of his boatmances met in that class before coming on the boat. But production definitely interviews everyone.
Ah. So just production. Thanks
Yeah, everyone from the Captain on down is hired by production who I assume has some sort of Yachting consultant they use because 51 Minds is not in the business of hiring maritime workers. The have to outsource the search and then interview the potential candidates for reality show suitability or whatever.
Wasn’t it Malia? Or is my memory per usual faulty.
It was Adam and Malia. They kept that a secret. Then she dumped him for Wes. But not after playing Adam and Wes against each other. Wes knew nothing. Adam felt betrayed because he and Wes were bunk mates and friends and he had promised to keep tge secret.
You may not be able to help/control who you like, but you CAN CONTROL how you treat people.
Malia is THE WORST!
Who does scissor sisters refer to?
Sandy and Malia
Aka Clambumpers ā staying with the nautical theme!