The good news is that it is Shahs of Sunset recap Sunday! The bad news that it is Halloween. I hate Halloween episodes. Mostly because it is hard enough for me to match faces with names without all the makeup and wigs and nonsense. Also I feel like you should have outgrown Halloween at some point in high school. Nevertheless, that is our agenda for tonight!
Pumpkins, and Wandering Dools
Hmmm, are we really going to start with the Halloween party? Or are we about to flash back? Oh this is definitely a flashback moment. We see MJ taking Baby Shams to a pumpkin patch for a playdate with Golnesa and Elijah. AW… Shockingly, Golnesa seems to be a really good mother. I would tell you what Reza is doing but I have no idea. I’m just glad it is making him miserable. Golnesa has a nanny with her at the pumpkin patch. Golnesa tries to advocate for Reza. She wants MJ and Reza to make up. I do not.
Paulina and Destiney talk about Mike’s wandering dool. She admits that she is trying to cover for Mike. She says other than the fact he likes sexting with other women, he is a ten out of ten in every other aspect. Even if that were true, and it is so not, that’s still a reason to walk away from the relationship. Destiney tries to talk some sense into Paulina but she is not ready to hear it. Why do these women stick with Mike for way longer than they should?
Reza Is A Lying Liar Who Lies
Nema throws a spa day for Mike for his birthday. Apparently, Nema, Mike and Shervin are all on Wiki Feet. I could have lived my entire life without know that is a thing. Mike is still pissed at Reza. Isn’t everyone except for Golnesa? Speaking of Golnesa, she wants a bigger house. So, Reza is going to pretend to be a real estate agent even though he hasn’t worked in real estate for several seasons. The house is completely unsuitable for Golnesa and her baby. There are several “death traps” for the kid that he points out. Reza still denies that he told Mike that Golnesa was the one that who “spoofed” Mike.
Meanwhile, while Destiney is trying to get things set up for the Halloween party, Paulina calls her and says she has thought about what she said. She has trust issues with Mike now. Really? She needed someone to explain to her that if her man is have phone sex with other women, that’s something that causes trust issues? She is afraid that Mike might retaliate toward Paulina and/or Destiney. There are a lot of flashbacks to previous seasons on this episode. That’s always a bad sign. Reza and Mercedeh go to get Botox for Reza. MJ did some other facial sauna thing. She talks to Reza about not being able to see baby Shams. Reza is such of manipulative crybaby. Mercedeh falls for it every time.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
Nema goes to Mike’s apartment to get ready for the Halloween party. He also has brought a makeup artist with him. Paulina shows up as well. Nema is going to go as Mercedeh and Tommy has helped him out with one of her sweat suits. This is a bad idea. Golnesa goes to Destiney’s house to get ready with her. MJ is going as a hippie so she can exude her intention of “peace and love.” Good luck with that, my friend. Golnesa is a skeleton. Destiney is a sexy Beetle Juice. Mike is a SWAT agent. Paulina is a sexy police officer. They are all nuts. Golnesa is already pissed about Nema’s costume. Reza is apparently also a hippy? I thought he was Mrs. Roper. For real. MJ is not pissed about Nema’s costume.
Destiney wants people to sit next to people they don’t normally sit with. She wants Paulina not to sit by Mike. So, Mike has a fit and vetoes that plan. Paulina is already drunken and is talking to the new girl, London, about lesbian sex. Then, Paulina goes inside and Destiney follows her in to check on her. I’m not sure what is going on but Destiney says that is really sad that Paulina is afraid to say anything that might piss off Mike.
Mike Gets Offended… By Everything!
Destiney has prepared an icebreaker game. Everyone has a question that asks who is the most likely person in the group too…(do something). Someone asked who is most likely to have a baby or get married next. Someone says Paulina. Then, someone else says they hope it is her. Destiney says, “I don’t.” And you can see the steam coming out of Mike’s ears. Paulina asks him if he is okay. He says “I don’t like these things.” Then someone asks who in the group has the highest credit card debt. My immediate response is Mike. He confirms this for getting all upset at the question. He then lashes out at Adam, who has an actual job when the next card asks who is the most likely to marry for money. Wow. What a dick.
Paulina tells Mike in Farsi that he is acting like an idiot. Destiney tells Mike to lighten up and stop acting all cuckoo. Then when Paulina tries to speak Mike says, “Apparently she is going to speak for both of us.” The next card is “Who is most likely to swindle someone in a Ponzi scheme?” Reza immediately says,”Mike!” And … He’s not wrong. I believe he actually did do some sort of weird MLM thing a few seasons back. Mike tells production that all of the questions were things Reza has said about him in the past. He feels sabotaged. Apparently, Paulina comes from a rich family. Mike and Destiney get into it. Paulina goes inside to hide. Mike wants to leave. Things between Mike and Destiney escalate and she tells Mike to get the fuck out of her house. Meanwhile, Reza is enjoying his dinner. Mike sort of gets physical with Destiney. The other girls get Mike out of the house.
Well that was a complete clusterfuck.