Oh joy of joys. It’s time for another RHONY recap. Even if we can go a week without Eboni throwing derogatory buzzwords at the ladies this week, I’m sure that Eboni’s election results party will be full of drama because I feel like Ramona is a Trumpster, and perhaps some of the other ladies as well. I can hardly wait. /eyeroll. Wow, I just pulled links and we had 170 comments on last weeks recap.
And here we go… we pick back up with Leah having some sort of mental meltdown. Eboni backtracks on her retelling of what Heather said about Leah considering not voting at all. Somehow it is all magically dropped. And we are off to the stupid fake beauty pageant. Ramona doesn’t want he pageant sash covering her elderly cleavage. Le sigh. only 55 minutes left to go. Luann displays her talents as a majorette. Ramona lifts weights and does pushup. Sort of. Leah twirls hula hoops. Heather does a cheer. Eboni does a spoken word about … wait for it… black women. Maya Angelou she is not. Sonja does some sort of weird mime thing to act out… Marry Fuck Kill. Because of course. Somehow, Leah wins. Clearly, Luann told the judges to choose her. Fuck dead Grandma, she’s a pageant queen now.
And We Can’t Even Get Through Breakfast…
The next morning at breakfast, the ladies talk about Leah’s text about her grandmother dying. Eboni is also struggling with her grandmother nearing the end of her life. Eboni brings up that she has a woman who thinks she is Eboni’s half sister. Apparently, her grandmother has her photo on her mantel. Eboni wants to go meet her potential sister. Then before anyone can get two swallows of coffee we are off and running on Heather’s microaggressive comment to Eboni about being “very articulate.” Heather brought it up to say she meant to say eloquent. Eboni tried to cut her off because she thought Heather was about to preach and she didn’t want to hear preaching. Then Eboni starts preaching. I’d like to poke my eardrums out now.
Next, we are all back in NYC. Eboni is working on her podcast. Leah is back with her kids and her sister grieving her grandmother. They are heading to the funeral. Ramona is meeting with a real estate broker. She wants to start working as a real estate agent with Douglas-Elliman. She still doesn’t even a license yet. Here we learn that agents no longer use the offensive terms “master bedroom” or “his and hers bathrooms” or “bachelor pad” or even “steps to the park.” Oh for fucksake.
Eboni and Leah meet up with Sonja to introduce her to that weird boxing coach guy. Who is he blowing to be on the show? Leah and Eboni talk about Leah’s grandmother’s wake. Sonja hugs the crap out of the boxing guy. Because Sonja. Leah tells us that she and Eboni have to protect Sonja so that “Ramona and Luann don’t step all over her anymore. Bitch, you are mentally 12. You will never come between Sonja and Ramona or Luann. Know your place. This is some stupid shit from the nieces.
It’s election day and the ladies all go to vote in their precincts. Eboni has invited all the ladies to her election party. Luann shows up in a JFK mask. On of Eboni’s friends and Leah’s sister Sarah. Ramona passed on the party. Leah brought an obnoxious dog. Because, of course her dog is obnoxious and not trained. The next night, Eboni is taking all of the women to Harlem. Now THAT is something I am excited about. For real. I collect all the black authors, but mostly women, that were influenced by, if not living in Harlem. I’m already stressing about what to do with all my books when I get the fuck out of this country. 🙁 Ramona phones it in from Long Island. She’s apparently afraid of “riots.” Sarah starts trashing Ramona and I hate her for it.
Let The Screaming Begin
Now Ramona is getting trashed for posting a photo of her new friend Eboni on Instagram. The girls are saying she posted it because she had an agenda. Jesus. This is Ramona we are talking about here. She always has an agenda. She also posted a photo of another new friend Ramona has who is also black. THE HORROR! Ramona is evolving! Eboni says she is posting photos of black women to counter the narrative that she is racist. Sonja is even coming after her. Are they all drunk? Why are they screaming? Sonja is literally buying into to Eboni and Leah’s AGENDA to break up Sonja and Ramona.
Luann excuses herself from the party. Sonja is a very loud drunk and very anti-Ramona. This is sad to watch. Leah’s dog bites her on the nose. LOL. Sonja wants a go box for the lobster rolls. And I have survived yet another recap. Next week: Ramona doesn’t do well in Harlem. Shocker.