Oh Joy! It’s time for another RHONY Recap where I will report on all the screaming and arguing and preaching and finger-pointing and canceling the New York women do. Then, we will all scream and argue and preach and point fingers and cancel each other in the comment section. So, yay?
Can We Please Call A Truce?
Oh Gawd. I’m not ready for this. It’s going to be like this all season, isn’t. Leah’s reaction to Eboni coming home early saying that Luann called her an angry black woman is so fake and ridiculous. Heather is trying to moderate Luann and her reaction to Eboni. Meanwhile, Eboni is really embellishing the story to Leah. Heather returns to Ramona’s house. She and Eboni discuss fake black versus rea black America. Eboni doesn’t think Heather is woke enough either. Can we just get to the part where they all call a truce? Oh good. It looks like we are getting there. Or not. Eboni doesn’t think she needs to apologize for anything she did and said. So she doesn’t. Eboni goes to order herself some comfort food rather than eating with the ladies. I am thrilled with this decision. Especially if she takes Leah with her.
Finally, the ladies go to the beach to surf fish. Of course Sonja gloms on to their fishing instructor right off the bat. They all throw on waders and off they go to fish except of Leah who doesn’t want to wear waders. And, Luann who uses the excuse she has to work on her props for tonight’s party. Apparently, working on her props means hula hooping. I hate people who surf fish on the beach. Their hooks are just another scary thing to try to avoid. Eboni seem to be the only one trying to enjoy the fishing experience. Oh, Sonja and Heather are giving it a good try as well.
Fish or Cut Bait?
It’s time to wrap up the surf fishing scene. Oh, Lord. Eboni and Luann are talking again. Thankfully, they hug things out. Then, Eboni goes to suck up to Sonja. She has hired a matchmaker to find her a man. They all have a winter picnic on the beach. Since the are eating a meal, it is imperative that they choose a topic that will cause drama. They’ve already done sex and race. So, that leaves them with politics. Eboni is going to host an election party. Oh! This should go well.
It looks like we are going to go from fishing to a… um, to some sort of 70s themed beauty pageant? Who are the writers for this franchise? They can’t possibly be women. There are no grown ass women on the planet who do mock beauty pageants on girls trips. Not one. Leah has another breakdown about her grandmother. Eboni is also losing her grandmother but she’s not hysterical and all over the place. I feel like I’m on an acid trip. None of what I am seeing is making sense. I have literally nothing to say about this other than that.
Leah Needs In-Patient Treatment
The script says that Leah and Heather have to have a catfight. Eboni is riling up Leah. Heater is venting about Leah to Sonja. When Eboni tells Leah that Heather said that everyone needs to vote. Eboni says the exact same thing. Leah runs off to rage on Heather. Apparently, she is not allowed to talk to anyone about her issues with voting. Leah screams from the balcony that Heather is “white feminism 101” and she is the problem. Does Leah realizes she is white? I hate this show. Leah, who has to have a HUGE dramatic moment in every scene tells Heather to just be quiet. And, that she doesn’t need to be part of every conversation. All the insults that Leah hurls at Heather are really Leah’s own issues and behaviors. Just shut your pie hole, Leah!
Leah grabs a bouquet of flowers and her purse and storms off to the getaway limo. They are all heading to do the stupid, juvenile pageant. When Heather gets on, Leah starts screaming that she doesn’t want Leah in the party limo. Heather says, “Oh, relax bitch.” And Leah jumps up and comes for Heather. She throws he flowers at her and then runs out of the limo to have her third? fourth? fifth? dramatic hissyfit of the episode. Heather is literally the most easy going out of the bunch. And finally the episode ends.
Next week: More incoherent screaming and Ebony’s election party. UGH.