By Guest Recapper Nanette
In this week’s Married To Medicine recap, we have “a lot to unpack” — to use 2020’s most overused Bravolebrity phrase. Spoiler: The title, “Scott’s Secret,” is hyped up; the juicy secret is revealed next week. The Quote o’ Night is from Simone, still smarting over Lisa Nicole taking over the Town Hall meeting: “Lisa, and the way she conducts business, I’m not going to call her shady; that’s crooked as hell, though…”
Silent But Deadly Heavenly
Anila visits Quad. The point seems to be to talk shit about Toya. But first, Anila wants to show the “queen of hair” her 4-foot weave. Quad advises her to treat it with the care she would give her “vajayjay.” Anila’s theory for why Toya is treating her so poorly is because Anila’s house is bigger than Toya’s — flash to Anila’s 14,000-sq.ft. nightmare and Toya’s 9,000-sq.ft. monstrosity. Maybe so, but the part about not paying Toya’s glam people has gone right over Anila’s head.
Cecil gets home, and Simone, rather ominously, tells him she needs to show him. That sends Cecil to the fridge for an adult beverage. Together, they watch Simone’s recording of the local news. Seems Lisa Nicole is in some hot water over her lab’s failure to provide people the results of their Covid testing. Back in June, Black churches were directing people in underserved areas to get free Covid tests. Unlike Dr. Damon’s legit lab, Lisa’s not so much. “Lisa, she knows fashion, not labs,” Simone says. (I disagree: Lisa’s “fashions” suck.) Simone worries that Lisa’s problems will be linked to their town hall voting event. She knows that Heavenly will say, “I told you so,” and wishes she had listened to her friend.
Simone calls Heavenly to find out if she’s had an opportunity to watch the video (of Lisa) she sent. Heavenly watches it and says she thinks she will remain silent on this one because she’s already had words with Lisa. So, remaining silent means Heavenly calls Jackie and Quad to to see if they know about this fraudulent activity with Covid testing. Jackie says they need to give Lisa time to explain.
Secret Meetings, Shady Ladies
At Contessa’s house, we see her talking on the phone with her life coach Latonia. Dr. Scott walks in. He offers to give her privacy to continue her session. Contessa wants him to hear what Latonia has to say. In their usual pattern, she gets passive-aggressive and he deflects by “joking.” Continuing their dysfunctional communication style eventually leads to Scott saying he has talked to a life coach. For about 6-7 months. Contessa doesn’t get why he has been avoiding counseling, but harboring this “HUGE SECRET.” The weirdest thing is that he hasn’t paid anything for this advice (good news, Contessa, it’s not a prostitute). But it sounds darned shady. She feels disconnected, he walks away from “negativity.” Same old shit.
The ladies are setting up the Our Vote Matters Now town hall meeting (starring Lisa Nicole!). Simone tells us she hopes that the Feds don’t interrupt it looking for Lisa. The other ladies arrive to assist with the virtual event. Quad reads off the questions submitted by citizens to members of the panel. They drive home the message that voting for all slots in the Georgia election is crucial. (As we now know, enough Georgians received the message.)
Blow Up And Blow Out
As Simone checks with the caterers, Kari tells Lisa she is amazed she is there, “with everything going on.” That gives Quad the opening to ask “The tests were in June, this is October [people still have no results at time of filming], just to clarify, are you under any federal investigation at all?” Lisa hesitates, then says a simple, “no.” Long time for such a short answer. Apparently, Lisa’s lab didn’t have the testing equipment and was submitting the tests to a third party (lab), but presenting as if her lab were doing the testing, which is sketchy or illegal. Lisa says this was happening to everyone, which is not believed by Simone and Heavenly, hence Simone’s “crooked as hell” quote.
Next, Simone has Jackie on the phone (she was working) and the two announce the “sunrise” trip to Jekyll Island. Simone promises none of her “healing” agenda, just “straight fun.” Bwahahahaha! Contessa is on board for that — she needs a break from Scott. Now, it’s time for Simone to try to get Anila and Toya to make nice one-on-one. Toya thinks they already did that. Anila came to her home (unannounced) and they made up. Toya thought it, we saw it. So, now it’s Anila’s turn to blow up. She is shrieking at the ladies “Did I ever talk bad about Toya?” I guess it depends on what she thinks she and Quad were up to. Anila storms out. We see a montage of the “tennis bonding” moments as Anila tells us Toya is “gaslighting” her. “Gaslighting” has become the oft-misused Bravolebrity catchword word of 2021.
The Vagina Dialogs – Chapter 92
Simone tries to get through to Toya. Kari says Toya needs to feel safe before she can let her guard down, blah, blah, blah. Quad pipes up and somehow, this leads to Toya saying “sorry, sorry, sorry” to Quad. Then, she finally gets to say what she was trying to say at Quad’s house two episodes ago before Heavenly derailed her attempt to apologize. She tells Quad when she dissed her “apartment” she had never seen it. But. she loves it, and would want to live there if she were a single woman. Quad accepts the apology. Yay! Toya, Quad and Simone touch hands. More yay!
Here come the requisite Bravo packing scene dramas. This gives us the chance to witness Heavenly packing Jackie’s book so she can ask Dr. Damon, “You know all about the vagina, right Daddy? I mean, you went to medical school, right?” (Just slightly more cringeworthy than earlier when she was trying to convince teen daughter Alaura they wear the same-sized Forever 21 romper.) Jackie calls Simone to discuss what to bring. (Another sign the Golden Girls are together again!) Later, the ladies meet up at Jackie’s office. An RV pulls up with Lisa Nicole at the wheel. It’s her RV. But she’s hired a driver. They are 2.5 hours behind and no Contessa, no Heavenly. Oh, because they will be driving an hour away to pick them up at Heavenly’s house.
Yo Mama Bus Brawl
Perennially gracious, Heavenly boards with her nose out of joint, “Lisa’s RV a little old, and maybe unreliable, like Lisa.” Buckle up, ‘cause here we go. LET’S PLAY A GAME! Ut-oh… “What’s your biggest fear?” Starting with Kari, “my biggest fear is crashing in an RV!” That gets a hearty laugh, but oh, Kari, there are way scarier things that can happen in an RV than a crash… like Heavenly on board. Lisa’s turn next (surprise!). “I’m not a good judge of people all of the time ” Let’s see .Which one of her former “partners” is she setting up: Heavenly, Quad, or Simone? “It’s scary that sometimes you think you can trust someone, then you can’t.” (Really?)
Simone, the latest one to be betrayed by Lisa, says “Sometimes, what you put out is what you get.” Lisa thinks she is trustworthy. Here comes Heavenly … first, it’s about the lab fraud. Acting like she had the equipment when she didn’t. Now, Lisa says she did have it. But before, she said her lab didn’t have it and the tests were sent out to another lab. Back and forth Covid test crap. Scream, yell, yell, scream.
Lisa: You’re a dumb woman!
Heavenly: Yo’ mama a dumb bitch!
Lisa: Get this trifling-ass bitch off my G** D***** RV!
Heavenly: Let me out! I gotta Uber car!
Next week: The ladies get to Jekyll Island with no dead bodies on board; Heavenly and Toya attempt to start fresh; Contessa confides her suspicions of Scott to Jackie and Quad; Anila stirs the pot over a bad deal with Lisa Nicole. For those playing the drinking game, this is the fourth of our M2M ladies to call out Lisa’s betrayal in business dealings.