I’m late to set up this RHONY recap and I’m in the middle of a panic attack for some dumb reason. So, let’s just get to it. Y’all always have a lot to say about the RHONY episodes. I’m not very into this season of RHONY.
I have no idea what these ladies are arguing about. But all seems to be forgiven. Ramona is trying to convince Leah to stop talking about sex all the time. That’s not going to happen. Luann decides to go to bed early and miss all the drama. Now Ramona is talking about sex. Ramona is wasted. One time in college I ran off to the Redneck Riviera with a guy who did acid. I tried a tiny bit and we watched TV. It was really weird. I feel like that right now. I have no idea how to recap what is happening.
Let’s (NOT) Talk About Sex, Baby
Ramona, who wants people to stop talking about sex, can’t stop talking about dicks. And to make matters worse they are going to paint a nude male model. I would already like to turn this show off. I am also not interested in minute by minute updates on Leah’s dying grandmother. Perhaps she should have stayed home with her if she cares so much. Why are Eboni and Leah getting glam? It’s ridiculous. Eboni’s make-up in her talking heads is atrocious. I hope she didn’t pay someone to do that clown make-up.
Luann has hired a male model to pose nude while they paint him. Um, they don’t know how to paint. Eboni and Leah are late because of their glam squad. Luann loves her new man Garth. However, it was a fleeting thing as she has been calling the paparazzi a lot lately to snap photos of her with some other dude. Luann is trying to hook Sonja up with some guitar player. She’s not having it. Even the French isn’t charming her. I wish I had something witty to say here. But, it’s a lot of nothing. At least we are in the Hamptons? The ladies are thrilled by the nude model. Ramona is totally into the guitar guy. Leah has a cryfest. I just can’t with this.
Please, Please, Make It Stop!
It’s finally time to eat lunch. Which of course will be another brawling session. Leah arrives dramatically in dark sunglasses. Luann’s friend Garth has made a delicious looking lamb curry. There is even more conversation about not talking about sex. I mean we just looked at dick for an hour. Leah gets pissed at Ramona and stalks away from the table. I am so annoyed by Leah. Ramona gets into it with Eboni. Then, Eboni says she is “the most educated person in the group.” Wow. Luann and Ramona both have a hissy fit over that comment. Who says that? But then, fucking Leah returns to scream at Ramona because she compared her to Avery. Apparently, Avery doesn’t talk about dick all the time. All these women do is shout at each other. It’s not good TV at all.
I’m having to watch all the commercials because I just don’t know what to say about this shit show. Leah is RUINING this season. They should have fired her mid-season. And apparently, she is the reason Heather quits mid-season. I can’t say that I blame her. Suddenly, Luann and Eboni are fighting over their education. Luann does speak three languages. Also, you are at her home. I’m team Lu on this fight. Then, Eboni tells Ramona that her “white fragility” is annoying. WTF? She just asked her to STOP SCREAMING! Eboni is TOTALLY being the angry black woman. She can deny it all she wants. She is screaming. She is ANGRY. Meanwhile, Ramona is inside STILL TALKING ABOUT DICK! Luann tells Eboni she needs to go. Sonja tells her to have a safe trip. I’m over Eboni. I’ll get shit for this, but save your keystrokes. I SAID WHAT I SAID.