There is a corner store in my hood where I go to pay too much for beer. I recently tried walking there and that didn’t work too well. I posted about that but I can’t seem to find the post. Anyway, there is one guy who works there that says “Good Morning” to me everytime I come in. He’s funny and everyone who shops there sort of gives him a hard time. I thought of him tonight because I planned on greeting you all tonight with “Good Morning” because once again I just woke up from a big sleep just in the nick of time to write this (likely to be incoherent) Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap. So, Good Morning y’all and let’s get to it.
You Can’t Sit With Us!
I feel like Glenn is being produced to act like Captain Sandy this season and I am not here for it. He never interferes with the crew. I would like nothing Captain Sandyish on this franchise. I’m going to have to recap her dumbass soon enough. Besides, He crashed the boat TWICE and so he’s in no position to criticize the crew. This is not the real Captain Glenn. Just like I don’t believe that Natasha can’t cook an egg I don’t believe this Captain Glenn crap either. Also, I hate these guests. And production. Also, I am behind because there is some sort of weird popping sound outside and Banjo is losing his mind and I can’t figure out what it is. Fuck. It might be fireworks. Because nothing says, respect our military who died like fireworks. I hate stupid people.
For the women’s empowerment dinner (read that again) the ladies want assigned seating because some of them can’t stand each other. FUCK it is definitely fireworks going off every fucking where. Banjo is barking his head off and I can’t hear the teevee! By the way, I was born an old person. My parents had dinner at 4:30 or MAYBE five because that is when Daddy got home from work in like the 60s and it just remained that way. So dinner at 8 seem SUPER LATE. Also, dinner can’t even happen at 8 pm because they were sailing and the boat was keeling. More drama.
The Galley Goes To Hell
First Natasha has to feed the crew at 7. Gary pitches in to help Natasha. Things are awkward between Alli and Gary. Now everyone including Glenn is screaming for food like children. The crew gets fed at 8:40. The guests are starving to death. Food goes out at 9 p.m. One of the guests eats bread for the first time in a year. I hate these people. Then the crew turns on Natasha. The guests love the food once they get it. And Sydney is going to sing? Apparently, Colin will accompany her on the guitar. It’s like a bad middle school recital. But the morons loved it.
Gary is doing dishes!? He is missing Alli. So it is only a matter of time before his dick wanders over to Sydney. Daisy is just being a cunt to Natasha. Dani is concerned that Jean Luc is not ready for a relationship. Probably because he has told her that fifty billion times. Yet, apparently she had his baby this week. Alli and Gary are estranged for lack of a better word. He misses her and she is trying to hold him off until after the season. Gary will have forgotten all their names after the season. Miraculously, the women have woken up early. Colin offers to help Natasha in the galley. He’s such a sweetheart.
Time To Get The Bitches Off The Boat
Glenn is nervous about docking. I just want the bitches off the boat. It takes a village but they eventually succeed in getting the bitches off the boat. They loved all of it so we hope the tip is good. Captain Glenn lectures the crew about trash talking the guests and crew dinners being late. They got over $2K in tips so they are happy. I wonder how much of that was from production? Alli tells Sydney that she backed off of Gary because she found out they had sex.
The crew gets to go off the boat! They have a private outdoor table. Colin talks to Natasha and says he doesn’t really like helping out in the galley. He doesn’t like cooking. He does like helping people. I am so over all the Natasha hate. Gary is now hitting on Sydney again. Who is shocked? Sydney knows that she is pissing Alli off by flirting with Gary. She’s doing it on purpose. Colin is annoyed by Gary and so am I. Dani basically proposes to Jean Luc. He says he does want to have babies. And yet… now that he does… he’s out. Everyone toasts to the upcoming final charter. Jean Luc and Dani leave the table to make out. He seems very into her. Dani sort of dumps him because she thinks he is too young.
Meanwhile, Gary tells Colin about his plan to “revenge fuck” Sidney. Men are assholes. Colin tries to talk some sense into him. But, Gary doesn’t have any sense. Dani says she is ready to have babies with Jean Luc. And, get this, the next charter guests are … NO CHARTER GUESTS (I guess they couldn’t book the last one. I used to see all kinds of ads in the yachting sites trying to get guests.) The crew are the guests. How will that happen?