Well, I guess I need to knock out the RHONJ reunion. I couldn’t tape it until the second airing at 1 am because an extra hour of crap was tagged on to the end. Tonight WWHL is tacked on to TOP CHEF that is keeping me from taping good scripted shows on the networks. I hate Andy Cohen. On to the last RHONJ recap of the season.
I’m probably going to need wine for this. Jennifer starts trying to defend her drinking by using her kids as some sort of weird defense. She says the kids thought it was funny. Also, she said one of her kids says it’s funny because people think she “gets like that” all the time. That is not something a kid would say. Jennifer also says she is not a sloppy drunk because she doesn’t go home with strange men. Trust me, I’ve been a sloppy drunk many times and it didn’t (always 🙂 ) include indiscriminate sex. I was also in my twenties and didn’t have children. And I generally was embarrassed the next day. Jennifer makes it sound like it’s an example of her great parenting. Teresa thought it was fun.
Teresa Doesn’t Support Other Women!
Then we talk about sexual harassment in the workplace. Both Jackie and Margaret have had bad experiences. Jackie shares that she had bosses that would massage her shoulders when they talked to her. Teresa says that would never happen. To her because she wouldn’t allow it. It’s chilling that Teresa and Jennifer are gleefully shaming the victim here. This is disgusting. Jennifer starts slut shaming Margaret. Screaming ensues. Then we learn that David has refused to look at Dolores’s new vagina. Dolores and David are still together. They see each other maybe once a week. Dolores is renovating her house. Sounds like she had no plans to move in. Andy asks”Do you think that David doesn’t want to get married to anyone? Or he just doesn’t want to get married to you?” What a mean question! She says he doesn’t want to get married to anyone.
Teresa and her new man become the topic of conversation. I think this relationship will end sometime in the next filming season. He’s a clout chaser. Joe Giudice is living in the Bahamas and in Italy. That sounds like a dream. Crime does pay. Joe is heartbroken over Teresa’s new relationship. Teresa’s girls are split on the situation. The two youngest girls are fine with Louie. But, Milania and Gia are struggling. Gia is seeing a therapist, Milania will see one when she gets home (home from where? The Bahamas maybe?). Also Teresa is also in therapy.
It’s Time To Bring Out The Husbands
Andy brings up the negative press about Louie demanding sex four times a day. Teresa says she has met her match. How do you have a job and kids and have sex four times a day? Is he a minute man? Andy brings up the allegations by Kim D. that Louie is violent. Teresa doesn’t answer because she doesn’t respond to “sewer rats.” I wonder who wrote that line for her? The husbands come out and we are reminded that most of these women are married unlike other “housewives franchises.”
Evan says that the worst part of the season for him was his kids reading about the false allegations online. Frank, not David, is there as Dolores’s partner. Joe Gorga and Melissa seem happy together. Because of course. The guys really do seem to have each other’s backs. If only women could be like this. Everyone agrees that Teresa was being a bitch when she spread the rumors about Evan. Teresa is pissed that Jackie keeps “bringing up the jail thing.” Jackie says she has mentioned it twice. I say, MENTION IT ALL! Andy says that Danielle Staub thinks that Margaret started the rumor. Jennifer supports that theory too. Margaret says that if she had heard the rumor first she would have told Jackie first. Everyone believes that except for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum as a box of hair.
It Is Finish-ED
The screaming between Jackie and Teresa continues. The, randomly, Teresa apologizes to Evan for spreading the rumor. Then, Jackie apologizes for the millionth time about Gia. Teresa says she hopes Louie can golf with Evan and the guys. The husbands leave. Evan, the consummate gentleman thanks Teresa on the way out and says he is so happy for her and Louie and looks forward to golfing with him. She give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Smart move disarming the devil. I see you Evan.
We end the season with pineapple drinks for all. Everyone has one except Teresa. And then, Louie walks out to serve her one. They hug and kiss dramatically. Apparently, she didn’t know he was there. These two are in fact a perfect match. In hell. Louie thinks that Teresa is “very real.” LOL Louie gives the final toast of the season. Then the ladies cheer to a fresh start. Louie goes backstage to meet all the guys.