90 Day Fiance Recap: Love Takes Hostages

Angela & Michael

I can’t believe that I am starting a 90 Day Fiance recap right now. I’m so tired but I want to watch. But, this recap probably won’t go up until tomorrow. OMG! How are we in the recovery room with Angela and all the doctors? What if she had died and they agreed to film it? Angela comes through and immediately starts asking for Mike. The hot boob doctor says he too two pounds of boob on both sides. Angela’s bestie, JoJo is given all the instructions. She updates Michael and he is still worried about what her boobs will look like.

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Angela’s recovery seems really hard. The recovery is really hard. Angela is upset her boobs are so small. I’d LOVE to be “flat-chested.” Boobs are a pain in the ass especially during a pandemic. No more giant boobs and and no need for giant bras. The doctor wants to call Michael and show him. Michael is also unhappy with the downsize. Angela’s boob doctor is the best. Angela is hurt.

Elizabeth & Andrei

I feel like I missed an episode of this. But, basically Andrei comes home hot after his first day of work and is pissed that his bitch of a sister-in-law called him names that they had to bleep out. He’s hot and so is Elizabeth. Apparently, the sister thinks Elizabeth is her daycare person now. After one day of being a stay at home mom and working from home, Elizabeth wants a nanny. Andrei has been a stay at home dad forever. She didn’t last a day.

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After two years in the US people here on a green card have to go renew it and the next renewal lasts ten years. Seriously? It seems like too much bureaucracy to me. Once someone gets a green card, I think it should be permanent on the condition that they do not commit any serious crimes. Especially if they are part of a family and gainfully employed. This is a waste of money and time. The immigration attorney says that the application will required hundreds of pages of documentation and interviews. She suggests a paternity test for their baby.  Also, because Andrei was a stay at home dad he will need a letter of employment. And he can’t lose his job. Andrei says he has never committed a crime. Elizabeth looks nervous. Andrei could be deported if he is lying.

Tiffany & Ronald

I REALLY want this to work for the kids sake but these two need to throw in the towel. But, it will crush the boy and Ronald. Ronald tries to pressure Daniel to pressure his mom to bring them to South Africa. Then he tells Daniel he and his mom and sister are going to move to South Africa if he doesn’t get his visa. Daniel says “he will leave the family.”

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Ronald has a job so Tiffany is feeling better. However, he still doesn’t have a visa. Tiffany meets up with her sister to talk about her marriage. They just had their two year anniversary that they celebrated with phone sex. However, she tells her sister she will not move to South Africa if he gets denied. Tiffany says that if she were to tell Ronald that he would relapse.

Kalani & Asuelu

Kalani and her dad got for coffee alone. She says this is very unusual. He is very wise. Also, he doesn’t believe in divorce. So his plan is to talk to them both one and one. He tells Kalani to be patient and give Asuelu to give him a chance to make it work.

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Next, Kalani’s dad takes Asuelu to play golf…and give him lecture. Asuelu says that he and Kalani are having problems with communication. Asuelu is blindsided that Kalani is considering divorce. Asuelu doesn’t believe in divorce. Asuelu agrees to work on his communication with Kalani. Kalani’s dad is a great person. Asuelu is so happy that Low talks to him. But he is terrified of divorce. He doesn’t want to lose his kids.

Yara & Jovi

Jovi and Yara are going on their first date since the baby was born and Jovi’s mom is going to house sit. She comes bearing gifts. But, Yara doesn’t want to leave the baby. The baby has strange hair patterns. Eventually they make it to a mostly empty restaurant. Jovi says he has to go to work earlier than he thought, in just a few days to quarantine for two weeks due to Covid. Yara is really upset. Jovi wants her to go live with his mom.

Natalie & Mike

These two are headed for Thanksgiving at Mike’s mom’s house. I feel sorry for Natalie already because you know Mike’s mom is going to treat her new daughter-in-law like shit. For a change, Mike is being nice and Natalie is grumpy. It’s very early. Also, Natalie blames Mike’s mom for stopping her wedding. The tension between Natalie and Trish is apparent as soon as she presents her son with two dollar store helium balloons at the airport. Natalie sort of overdoes it when complimenting Trish’s lesbianwear. NTTAWWT, I’m basically cross dressing these days. I’m in a set of old man pajamas as I type. I’m also not going to make it all the way through this show tonight. I really wore myself out today.

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The trio finally makes it home. Natalie loves Trish’s dogs, but the collection of ceramic pigs not so much. I am going to have to divest myself of all my brass and wooden giraffes soon. After Trish makes it clear she wants grandkids (she already has the crib), she brings out a birthday cake that says Happy Birthday Mike and Mommy. I agree with Natalie that is kind of …creepy. Natalie says it is hard living in the middle of nowhere. Back in Ukraine, she was a journalist, an actress and a model. AHHHHHHH NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Right?

Julia & Brandon

These two go out on a double date for dinner. Julia seems to have an attitude about it. Basically because the restaurant only serves beer and she hates beer. She also has no interest in meeting Brandon’s female friend and her boyfriend. Julia is so jealous of this girl. Brandon’s female is kind of a bitch. Jealous maybe? Julia is pissed that Brandon didn’t stick up for her when the girl suggested she was using him for a green card. I don’t blame her. This poor girl picked a lemon. He has no backbone AT ALL.