It’s been a physically grueling and emotionally draining day here at Chateau Tattles. But, it was also very productive. I even took a shower! Anyway, I mention that because this RHOBH recap will probably be plodding and completely lacking of wit. Also, while I am off topic. I can’t tape RHONJ at 9 tonight because the fuckwits has it set to tape for two hours. So, I’m recording the 1 a.m. rerun instead. If I catch a second wind I’ll recap it then. However, it most likely won’t happen until tomorrow. Thanks for understanding.
Tonight’s RHOBH looks like it’s going to be irritating. Or maybe I’m just irritated because some assholes call me ONCE AN HOUR trying to sell me fake health insurance. They have a million different phone numbers and they are relentless. I told them to stop the last call. If they continue I’m just going to vent my anger by calling them a string of profanities. I think this will make me feel better. 🙂
Garcelle is off to meet up with Kyle to confront her about the miscommunication (?) over her donation at Kyle’s charity even. But first, production wants to play Erica Jayne’s “It’s Expensive To Be Me” song while she flaunts all the fashions she allegedly received at the expensive of widows and orphans. Don’t worry daring. It’s not expensive at all to live in federal prison. Perhaps you can share a cell with Jen Shah? Sutton shows up to see Erika’s ginormous closests ….AND HER GUN COLLECTION? They start off the season as fake friends. That will not last long. Sutton is building a house on her own with her ginormous divorce settlement. She married VERY well.
Garcelle and Kyle meet to clear the air over lunch. Kyle says she started off really liking Garcelle until Garcelle started shading her. Kyle wants to hug it out. However, Garcelle is still pissed Kyle said she didn’t pay her charity obligation. And apparently she didn’t because now she has a excuse that they contacted her at “an address she has not had for years.” How did that happen exactly? Kyle says she knows that Garcelle is a good person and she took care of the payment right away after that discovery. Yay! We can all move on. Except, we can’t. Garcelle wants to play the race card. Then she explains why it felt racial and it makes sense. Kyle gets it now too. They move on to other topics Friendship mended?
Based on the previews, I already hate Crystal. Blah, blah, blah. She brags a lot. What I do love is her house. Especially her yard. And her housekeeper, Lucy…and her beautiful children…and her brother. But Lucy needs a lot more camera time. But, It’s time for the ladies to head to Lake Tahoe. Garcelle, ever the professional arrives at her call time. So, she is repaid for this by having to film alone with Rinna, who she still views at untrustworthy. Perhaps she is Garcelle, but they all are. Kyle arrives next. Garcelle learns that these ladies pack like they are moving away. This is Kathy Hilton’s first girls trip ever, not just for the show. The gang is all there. Off they go on a private jet. Garcelle doesn’t like to fly. It’s probably just the small plane.
The house has 17 bedrooms and 18 baths and sits on 15 acres. It has a movie room, a game bar, a sports bar, an indoor pool and hot tub and a personal chef! PERFECT for a Covid filming. On the down side, there is a bear problem so you can’t live the sliding glass doors open on the first level. I’m out. I’m booking the first flight home. Hell, I’ll hitchhike home. I love that the ladies have to carry their own luggage to their rooms. Perhaps now they will see how ridiculous they are? Nah. Where the fuck are they going to wear all these clothes they brought. Its. A. Lake. House.
Unintentionally Blackened Salmon
Kyle is happy that her relationship with Kathy is good again. I’m really quite fond of both of them which makes this situation very upsetting to me. Early on in my blogging career I had some private online interaction with both of them and they were very sweet to me. Kyle takes over the kitchen and makes the personal chef her sous chef. Crystal is the bartender. She makes a mean margarita. I love that Kyle dresses like a normal person. I know you guys hate Kyle’s wardrobe, but I love it. Oh no, Kyle burnt the hell out of the salmon. I blame the sous chef. Everything still looks delicious. Apparently, Kathy and Kim call Kyle “doogie.” Also, Kim has always liked to “torture” people. Erika and Sutton continues to bond over their Georgia roots.
After dinner, the ladies play two truths and a lie. In that game we learn that Crystal worked at an escort agency as the phone operator and they wanted her to be a madam. Erika’s three statement were, she wore a wire and was a witness in a government case, she’s adopted, and she used to work for the mafia. The truth is she is adopted. She won’t say which one is the lie. Rinna refuses to play because she is not a good liar. Both Garcelle and myself just laugh and laugh. Kathy has claimed all three of these to be true already. But, I don’t think she was a real dental assistant. I think she just terrorized her childhood friends as a “dental assistant.” But, Kyle says they are all true.
The Third Shift
The other ladies go to bed but Kyle, Crystal and Sutton stay up for more drinks. Oh, Garcelle and Rinna have a little powwow. Garcelle, once more with feeling, tells Rinna that she doesn’t trust her. I feel like production was upset there was no conflict the first night. So, they’ve sent Garcelle to beef with Rinna. Why do they do this? I’m sure they will argue tomorrow. I hate Garcelle’s blue hair in her confessional. But they basically, make up. Meanwhile, Sutton tells Kyle that Garcelle just wants everyone to be real with her. But, if you are fake or try to call her out, that doesn’t sit well with her. Kyle tries to defend herself by explaining the charity donation situation. And how Garcelle explained stereotypes to her.
Crystal jumps in and says that it’s hard to put yourself in the place of a culture you don’t understand. In the clip I saw it seemed like Crystal was the problem. But she is not. It’s Sutton. Sutton is very defensive and not listening. My DVR is crapping out at the worst possible time. Wow, Sutton I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you. And you can’t listen to your minority friend explain her experiences?
Next week: Garcelle tells the group, that includes Paris Hilton’s mother and aunt that she hated when she was on the show because she was always on her phone. Somethings are better left unsaid, Garcelle. And despite having a palatial estate, they somehow still manage to take their show on the road and go to a restaurant. That never ends well.