Every day during Covid feels like a Monday, but for some reason, actual Mondays are even more Mondayish than others. My Below Deck Sailing Yacht recaps feel like a huge hurdle and sometimes I just can’t get to them. But tonight, we get to learn about Jean Luc’s STDs. I mean, how can we not be on the edge of our seats for that? I just pulled photos and I still have no idea what is going on in this episode. But at least it doesn’t look like the boat crashes again. We should be nearing the end of the season and I am so ready for the reunion. All I need to know is whether or not Jean Luc is the “baby daddy.”
The STD Scare Heard Round The World
While Dani is sharing her concerns over Jean-Luc possible STD with Daisy, the charter guests are at each other’s throats. Captain Glenn lets Gary know that he is dropping the ball with the deckhand work. The deck isn’t even ready for the guests. One of guests feels like the others are excluding her because, “she is the prettiest one.” She should make friends with Sydney, they have the same mental health issues. But let’s get back to Dani’s physical health. She whispers to Colin that she thinks Jean Luc gave her an STD. As if everything that happens on this boat is not being filmed for TV. Colin says that if everyone left the boat because of STD’s there would be no yachties left. Jean Luc sends a dick pic to the doctor on shore. She thinks it’s just chafing.
Colin runs off to tell Gary that Dani wants to leave the boat because she thinks Jean Luc gave her an STD. Gary starts to worry that with all the sex going on, he may have been exposed as well. Meanwhile, the guests never stop whining, complaining and arguing. Captain Glenn does NOT want to go to dinner with them. So he tells Daisy to tell the guests he has a seafood allergy and perhaps he can join them for dessert. Gary has the feels for Alli but she has really backed off since she found out he slept with Sydney. Gary is clueless as to why she is so distant.
A Mermaid Dinner Party
I must be the only person who doesn’t want to play dress up on a sailboat. Do grown women really enjoy dressing up like mermaids? I want to eat normal food, perhaps in a wet swimsuit or a muumuu in my bare feet. I find this all very ridiculous. But the mermaid party must go on. Even the crew is getting decked out for it. And, Daisy gives us the quote of the episode during confessional. She says, “You don’t need to leave your job just because your boyfriend’s penis hurts.” So true. Natasha has tons of food coming out. But the ladies cabins are super messy and Daisy is pissed. I never realized how many tattoos Jean Luc has before this episode. That’s a no for me, dawg.
Once again, the guests say that Natasha is the best chef they have ever experienced.Yet production wants us to believe that she can’t cook an egg. Natasha is doing a dessert table I’m not a fan of that. I’d like my dessert on a plate please. After all that prep, the ladies just want to watch Jean Luc body surf across all the chocolate and mousse smears on the table. What a waste. Captain Glenn is not amused. He leaves before the ladies start licking Jean Luc. Gary is confused about why Alli keeps rejecting him. She finally pulls Gary to the side to let him know she found out he had Sex with Sydney and now she feels bad. Alli wants to put the relationship on hold until after they leave the boat. Oh girl, he will be long gone after the season is over.
The Gossipy Women Don’t Like To Be Gossiped About
The next morning Jean Luc and Dani get the good news that he doesn’t have an STD. I doubt she can say that definitively from a photo. But they are both thrilled. Gary has decided to just ignore Alli for the last five days. That won’t be awkward at all. Guys are such idiots. Meanwhile, the guests try to figure out what happened the night before by checking out their social media. And they announce that someone needs to write and perform a “women’s empowerment” song. Good Grief.
One of the primaries over hears Alli talking about having to give her mother a massage. So she goes to tell the other ladies. Surely she knows how obnoxious her mother is right? Also, apple. tree. These ladies voices are starting to make me want to shove a screwdriver into my eardrums. Wait Sydney is the chosen one to write the women’s empowerment song? That cracks me up! The daughter of the woman Alli is stuck massaging complains to Captain Glenn about her bad mouthing her mother. He’s pissed. What she said was not even that bad.
At lunch, the ladies argue about who sits next to who. They all have the emotional maturity of an 11 year old girl. Once again, they didn’t send enough wine. The reason for all of that is apparently they were out of rosé, or at least thought they were. Captain Glenn is turning into Captain Sandy on this charter. He’s micromanaging and that’s not like him.