It’s decision day. I had planned to get to bed early tonight because my favorite nephew is graduating from law school tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn and I want to watch online. But, I have got to watch this show before some idiot spoils me. So, I’m doing a quick MAFS Recap! The season was not one of the best, but I am still very excited to see the decisions.
Clara and Ryan
These two are up first. I’m surprised because I’m not sure what Ryan is going to say. Clara of course says yes. Ryan does a lot of stammering and says that “What works for Ryan doesn’t always work for Clara.” But after a commercial break, he says he 150% wants to stay with her. Yay!
Haley and Jacob
Haley says she feels great today! She’s very peppy. Very peppy. Then they start pointing out each others mistakes and drama. They are just bickering. These two can’t even agree on how things went down. They both want a divorce.
Paige and Chris
Wow I thought they would be last couple. We’re only half an hour in and this is the third couple. I guess the rest will be all the couples together, but they are all hugging the “experts” goodbye. Anyway, these two are ridiculous. The shrink wants to know why she kept coming back. Chris starts with his lying. I can’t even with this one. He tells Paige that she was “the best thing that he never cherished.” Also, she “embodies everything that I wanted in a wife.” Then he apologizes. He says she is what he needed in a wife and he didn’t appreciate it. Pastor Cal looks like he wants to jump up beat his ass. Dr. Pepper rolling her eyes so hard it must hurt.
Oh for fucksake. Now the bastard is saying that Mercedes had a miscarriage. Fake babies don’t miscarry you sorry sack of shit. Then he runs out of the room crying and dumbass Paige runs right after him. Apparently, he got in his car and left. This weakass boy… He’s such a drama queen. Paige gets into the car with him. He’s crying. This is some pathetic shit right here. She’s the one that should be crying, YO! He feels like everyone hates him. Everyone does. With a fucking burning passion. Paige is worried about his mental health. She needs to be focused on her mental health. I think the dramatic run to the car was because he borrow someone’s nice car and he wants people to think it is his.
The Douchebaggery Continues
Of course all of this bullshit is working on Paige. When Paige tells the experts she’s having second thought about her decision because the baby in no longer in the picture, Pastor Cal jumps right in to point out the had problems before the baby (LIE!) came up. Pastor Cal straight up asks him if he is saying the relationship is not over. He stammers out that he “has feelings for” Paige. I have feeling for Chris too. I feel like he is an evil lying bastard. Paige doesn’t know what to do now. Pastor Cal asks them for their decision. Chris says they are undecided.
Dr. Coles steps in again. She says that he is doing this to play with Paige and with the experts. Chris gets heated with Dr. Coles. He almosts says he doesn’t give two flying fucks to her but catches himself before the curse word. Then he says she is not going to control him. And, he is not going to give her an answer. Chris says if two people decide they need more time that should be respected. Pastor Cal says that means the decision is to stay married for now.
Paige is sobbing now. She storms off camera and Chris goes behind her to enjoy her pain. He tries to convince her to leave with her. When the producer comes to take her mike off, she wants to go talk to her. She says she was ready to leave but now she’s not sure anymore. We don’t hear much more than that.Meanwhile Pastor Cal has a whisper conversation Chris. They both come back in. That producer seems to have gotten through to Paige. She decides to get a divorce. But will Chris get back in her head again? He looks pissed. Someone needs to walk her to her car and maybe even follow her car. Wait why are there two decision days? Is it a Covid thing? I am so happy I got my first shot today!
Virginia and Erik
I am nervous that they are saving Briana and Vincent for last. And I really hope Virginia asks for a divorce. Erik can do so much better. Erik says that he is not sure what she is going to say. He says he knows he is not her number one. Virginia says that she struggles to open up. Really? We are going straight to the decision? I feel like we are going to have more Paige and Chris nonsense at the end of the episode. Erik pours his heart out to her. Then he proposes to her with a ring. Fuck, that may push her to stay! And it does. Poor Erik. Wait the ring looks like a coral band that you get at the souvenir shop at a tacky beach. So we have two marriages out of four and one more couple.
Briana and Vincent
Briana is worried that her bossiness will cause him to leave. Vincent brings her rude behavior up right away. Briana thinks she can’t change who she is. Of course you can. Briana really needs one of my second grade science big books, Living Things Grow And Change. Briana says that Vincent has become someone she needs and he means the world to her. Vincent says she has brought so much joy to his life. He can talk to her about anything and he has never had that before. She’s fulfilled his life and made him whole. BUT! There is a BUT! Y’all. Oh Lord he is gonna propose. WITH A CHEESECAKE! And she is crying because she loves cheesecake to much. AW.
The last ten minutes or so all the couple get back together. Everyone announces their decisions. Paige doesn’t speak on the imaginary miscarriage. Everyone respects her decision to keep things private. Even though it is on national TV. She says that is why it too almost six hours to film her segment. Perhaps that is why the other two couples came the next day. Paige finally gets that she has to put herself first. She says she is at peace with her decision. Then the douchebag arrives. He totally just does this to manipulate Paige and get some screen time. There are actually crickets chirping.
He apologized to the group as a whole. Then, he makes it all about him as usual. He is so full of shit. Erik is such a good person. Oh God, Paige and Doucheboy are grinning at each other. But what was in the box he brought in? I must know the answer! Paige had a purple box on her lap. Maybe it was that it? Oh! I forgot about the reunion. That’s my favorite part! It looks like Virginia is still drinking a ton. And Paige stupidly went to counseling with Chris. NO!