This is the last RHONJ recap before the reunion. I was so happy to be done with the Atlanta reunion and the Dallas reunion, but I don’t even get a week off. Such is life. In case you missed it, there was some RHONJ tea this week. Click her for that. In other news, I got my first vaccine today! #HouseOfModerna Now on the the show.
We start with Teresa’s date with Louie. Teresa has learned a big word, “entrepreneur!” I am shooketh. Louis is blood red. Sunburn? Is it hot? Or is it nerves. He gets up to make out with her at the table while they wait for dinner to arrive. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is decorating for Halloween. Margaret is hosting a Halloween birthday party for Joe. Melissa and Joe argue about arguing. Dolores is doing some major renovation to her house. Clearly, she has no plans to move in with David. Frank tells the workers to listen to what he says. NOT what Delores says.
Bill and Jennifer and most of the kids (one is at a friend’s house “studying for a test”) are celebrating their anniversary. They are all in white and the table looks beautiful. Daughter Olivia planned the dinner. Really? She’s like ten. A private chef brings the first course and she didn’t eat it. Then, Bill proposes to her again and gives he a giant yellow diamond. It’s nine carats! Bill is a keeper. Teresa, who “wrote a cookbook” is trying to make an apple pie. The recipe says to dot the butter on the apples. Teresa has no idea what that means.
Broken Woman, Drunken Woman
Margaret is having a huge Halloween party. Jackie and Evan are Sonny and Cher. Jennifer is J-Lo. Teresa is cotton candy. She did not invite Louie. Frank is Joe Exotic. Melissa is going to be a mermaid and Joe Gorga is a “Merman.” I can’t believe spell check accepted that word. Margaret is Elvira and her Joe is Gomez. The decorations are over the top and everywhere. It’s like a full on movie set. Dolores is an accident victim wrapped in bloody gauze. One of the husbands says, “Oh she’s broken!” I am sure production made her wear this costume. It’s awful. Both the costume and the broken storyline. Somehow, Dolores is more upset to see Melissa than Joe.
Jennifer is sucking down the tequilas. Joe Gorga is encouraging all the guys to take shots. Jennifer is wasted already. And super loud and obnoxious. She shoving food in her mouth, or at least halfway in her mouth and dropping the catered plates. She’s disgusting. Then, Margaret gives an emotional speech to her Joe. She talks about how supportive Joe is and how he lets her do her own thing and have her own businesses and is always there for her. In a talking head he tries to convince us, and probably himself that he is not chauvanistic. The next part of the script calls for Joe Gorga to confront Margaret about calling him chauvanistic. So very scripted.
Joe Gorga Thinks He Isn’t A Chauvinist
Who is Bill supposed to be? Prince? Mozart? I don’t get it. Melissa goes to Dolores to try to smooth things over with Dolores and Teresa sticks up for Delores and sort of throws her under the bus a few times. Then, Margaret shows up to get in the mix. Melissa says that she doesn’t need their help with her marriage. Meanwhile, Joe whines to the husbands about being called a chauvinist. So, Bill says they women have a point. Bill says that Joe Gorga needs to be a better listener. Joe Gorga responds with “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Which to me is a hilarious response.
I get why Dolores was more worried about Melissa than Joe. She read the script. Melissa keeps screaming at Dolores. So, Joe Gorga comes over to stir the pot even more. So, Melissa pulls Joe away from the girls and tells them to stop interfering in her marriage. It is not helpful. Then, drunk Jennifer and Jackie get their cue to enter the scene and ask what is going on. Joe and Melissa move over to a private stage where their argument continues. These two are playing with fire here. This fake season could in up being a real relationship. Melissa and Joe leave the party.
End notes: Melissa has a new workout line but “being the wife of Joe Gorga is her hardest job.” Margaret and her Joe are just fine. Things are good with Jackie and Evan. Jennifer is still not speaking to her mother. Also, she can’t keep a housekeeper. Dolores is getting a thigh lift and already trying to decide what surgery she will get after that. That’s scary! Louie wants to be with Teresa “until her boobs drag on the floor. Charming.