Last week’s RHONY recap of the premiere episode sort of woke a lot of you and I was thrilled to see so many views and comments. I feel like the site is headed back in the right direction. Thanks for hanging with me through the dark times and coming back for the fun times! xo ~tt
We begin with Eboni having Leah over to her apartment. I mistakenly stated that Eboni and Leah didn’t get along last week. I was thinking of Heather Thomson. These two are friends for real. Eboni talks about her apartment as what she thought was her permanent home with the man she thought she would marry. But apparently he has children in Jersey and in the end didn’t want to be there and went to quarantine with them.
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Eboni discusses how she felt about the housewives. She is already suspicious of Ramona and Sonja. Leah didn’t get to go to Burning Man because it was cancelled during quarantine. So she wants to do a Burning Man themed dinner. Is she going to be throwing the Tiki Torches while running around buck nekkid again? This girl has no couth at all. Eboni sneezes and Leah says, “Oh You just had one fourth of an orgasm.” See what I mean? UGH.
Sonja Needs A Healing; Ramona Insults “The Help”
Sonja has her “healer”, Aleta, over to ring some bells around for excessive amounts of money. Sonja says the room they are in was her ex-husbands gym. But, then she says, “But as you know I don’t live in the past. I live in the moment and going forward.” I pause for the lightning bolt that never comes because Old Testament God quit smiting people and got all soft once he had a kid. I can’t even type out all the weird shit that Aleta is spewing. Sonja is sobbing over her divorce from a million years ago. This is the most ridiculous thing on this show ever. And that is saying a lot. I should probably also mention that Sonja’s dog was laying on her head the whole time Aleta was drumming and ringing bells and waiving crystals.
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It’s time for everyone to head to The Hamptons. But first, the requisite ridiculous packing scenes. Ramona has hired “the help” whose job will apparently be keeping vibrators out of the serving dishes. That is a pretty important job, actually. Leah is very sad because her grandmother is very sick. She rides in a car with Eboni. Luann drives Sonja to the house in her convertible. Leah loves Ramona’s “burning man” hair. Oh Lord. Ramona has lit tiki torches outside. Has she learned NOTHING? Then while Eboni and Leah are digging in to the food that is currently vibrator-free, Ramona calls the caterer by the wrong name. Then she says, “Sorry I get my help wrong.” I think she was told to do this to work up Eboni. She is well aware that it offends people when she does that. It comes up every reunion.
Money Can’t Buy You Class…(sorry for the earworm)
Ramona tells Leah and Eboni that Heather Thomson will be joining them for at east part of the five day stay. Eboni has never met her. Leah met her briefly at a dinner in the Berkshires and was not impressed. Also, Leah brought up that Luann was taking “hard drugs” when they went to St. Barts a million season ago on her podcast. Leah says that Heather talks shit about Ramona, Sonja and LuAnn. She doesn’t understand why they like her. Then, Leah blurts out that she invited Elyse and her sister to Ramona’s. Who does that? I mean it was probably production that invited them, but still. At least fake ask Ramona beforehand. Oh Leah comes out with, “I’m just kidding.”
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Ramona’s house is stunning after the makeover. Luann is not in the basement this year! She got the best room in the house! Ramona and Sonja go to check the pool temperature. It’s 85 degrees. That seems quite warm. I a trying to remember the temperature the waddling pool for old ladies is kept in. I think was like 82. Which reminds me I need to get up in the morning and make an appointment to start going back next week. I have been saying that for three weeks now. It has to happen on a Wednesday morning to reserve for the following week. How the hell do I know if I will be sane next week?
Women in their 50s and 60s Pretending To Be At Burning Man?
Where do they find these reality show writers? No really. Who thinks this is a good story line? I must say that Ramona and Sonja both look amazing though. Leah is wearing sequined assless chaps. Eboni is amazed by everything she sees. Wait. Are we seriously having ANOTHER HEALER? Two healers in one episode? I need to write these scripts. They are having a sound bath. Ramona asks a million questions about the “healing.” She’s so not into it.
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Leah talks to the healer and the group about her mother being very sick. Eboni opens up that her grandmother is also gravely ill. And her grandmother and her mother are her only blood relations. This makes is even sadder that she told Leah at the apartment visit that he ex decided his kids were his family and she was not. Did anyone else got to Church Camp in middle/high school? This is less Burning man and more Church Camp. We would do all sort of things at camp and be mean or get picked on and on the last night there was a big bonfire where we all sort of confessed our sins or apologised or overshared something or shared a scripture and everyone cried for a few hours. I had not thought of that for decades until now.
The Sappiest Church Camp For Adults With Booze Ever
Luann says for many years she has been working on her spirituality. So she hopes some guiding spirits will lead her. Ramona says she has no family other than her daughter. Her friends are her family. She wants to pay more attention to her real friends. Luann tells us in a talking head she is not buying a word Ramona is says saying. Sonja says that she needs to be a better friend and be more vulnerable. This is so church camp for teenagers with booze. Sonja doesn’t want to burden her daughter with her problems. In her neck breath she says she just wants to check out.
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Then the sound bath starts and Ramona and Sonja are looking at each other and giggling. During this moment of peace and tranquility, some is having an argument outside my house. I heard a female shout, “What?” And some sort of car or truck with no muffler sped away. It’s not even Friday night yet! Leah says she feels like screaming. The healer tells her to knock herself out. Leah, and Luann start screaming like banshees. Oldly a banshee is a female spirit of Irish legends who screams to announce impending death. So um, maybe poor choice of words or me? Leah screams a few more times and then starts sobbing. Then Ramona screams. You would think the cops would be there by now.
Right after that everyone gets on giant swan floats in the pool and then sit down for what appears to be oven baked pizza. Then we have a giant costumed dancer on giant stilts. Because why not? We have gone for church camp to acid trip. Ebony goes to her bedroom. She is fine, just tired and she wanted to bask in calm of the sound bath. Everyone else is sloppy drunk and agrees to one last primal scream before bed.
Next Week: The lovefest ends. Eboni brings up “the help” comment to Ramona. Leah tells Ramona she doesn’t believe she had Covid or donated blood with antibodies. Sonja and Ramona try to pick up random old men.
Well, at least RHONY doesn’t seem to be wasting time in getting us to “the good stuff”.
Oh yay! I didn’t realize NY was back. My fave franchise!! Sounds like it’s gonna be a good season. I’ll go look for it on the Bravo app.
I don’t care for Leah. She’s just not my cup of tea. She’s crass, doesn’t fit in, and it was crystal clear she was winding Eboni up to dislike Ramona.
Eboni seems like a pretty smart cookie, and let’s be honest – Ramona does bring it on herself.
I’m looking forward to the Eboni and Ramona face off about calling people “the help.”
I’m not. They’re making it an unnecessary race thing when “the help” was white and Ramona simply isn’t good with names. IMO Ramona was frazzled trying to get things ready and not processing her thoughts very well. It’s all so divisive. I watch these shows to escape and don’t want to watch them manufacture real-world problems.
Well it is better than calling hotel employees “the servants.” So there is that. I honestly think Ramona believes that referring to staff as “the help” is the right thing to say rather than “the servants”
The pizza looked fantastic. I was looking up how to buy whatever that was they were using to cook it like coal fired? Where can I get one?
Pizza= best part of episode
Think the pizza oven is Ooni. I want one so bad too!!!
Long have I wished for a pizza oven, but they are stupid expensive. I can’t justify the price.
I found the pizza oven what a cool idea thank you RHONY
Now is Leah keeping kosher because that spread was not kosher for sure mixing milk and meat all over the place. I want to pretend that storyline doesn’t exist
👍Raised Kosher!
Leahs bow looks like it came off a car like a Lexus from a December to remember ad. Maybe they are a sponsor of the show and had some extra bows
Ha ha! I thought the same. She looked ridiculous!
And that is why she got the top spot! LOL. Sometimes it is because it is so pretty, and sometimes it is so silly. Thankfully it was the first scene and it all worked out. I have my photos ready to go and getting things up quickly is important
OTOH I totally ran out of photos after and hour and a half and the final reunion of RHOD was almost 3,000 words. Ain’t nobody got that many photos.
Was Eboni saying people like Sonja look her up and down because she is black? I truly think people look her up and down because she is SO gorgeous. I loved her look in the white dress with the blue eyeshadow. Stunning!
AMEN!
She really, really is.
And, once again Ramona, they are staff FFS! What is WRONG with this woman?!!! Did I really just type that? Lol! It would take the rest of my life to try to make sense of her.
TT, your recaps are on fire again! Appreciate whatever’s going on to make that happen- because you are slaying me with your irony, snark and wit. 🤣 Seriously- credit where credit is due! And seeing these uniquely wacky women on the tv screen again (minus annoying, fake as fuck Leah, who I could do without) is like returning to a yearly family reunion with your eccentric family who you actually mostly like.
Yes, on fire! “ God quit smiting people and got all soft once he had a kid.” Hahahaha!
Thanks for the recap TT!! OK so I know this is a highly produced reality show but I still love it! Its different now – I think both Sonja and Ramona are ridiculous but I literally LOL at everything they do! Also, could Lu have a more amazing body?? I think not.
TT – YES to church camp – went summer between 8th and 9th grade and it was EVERYTHING!!! Sneaking out to spy on boys cabin and what they were saying at night – cute counselors, etc….
Also, I don’t think this is going against the rules but if you haven’t been to Josh Flagg’s Insta account, you MUST!!! Sonja showed up 5 days ago and has taken over his house and its hysterical!!! This needs to be its own show! Look in the highlights section – I’m serious – its everything!!!!!
Once we were have a water balloon fight girls against the boys. There was this one boy who was relentless. I was up in the cabin and saw the boy right under my window. I got him square on the top of his head. Then he looked up to see me laughing my ass off.
Only it was not him. It was the pastor’s WIFE! I. WAS. MORTIFIED. But she took it well. Sorta. lol.
And yeah https://tamaratattles.com/2021/05/08/open-forum-sonja-is-a-horrible-houseguest/ some people here are very ANGRY about the Sonja thing. I think it is hysterical. /Shrugs
Omg love the church camp story!!! I also got food poisoning and went back to 9th grade 10lbs lighter – bc you know when you are 5’8, you should weigh 120lbs… SMH…
Omg didn’t realize you had recapped the Josh/Sonja! Can’t wait to read! Literally LOL at this “couple”…
I liked Leah last year but I fear I’m not this year. She has gotten the 2nd Season Disease where she thinks she’s all that and a bag of chips. The big bow outfit is the beginning. She just seems much more aware of herself & u can kinda see her salivating at getting air time. Her “I don’t give a shit” attitude has bumped up to “I only give a shit about me.”
I do think Ramona is trying but she’s still Ramona so expect foot in mouth disease in 3-2- ….
For someone so hard up for money, Sonja seems to spend it freely on herself. And still crying over a 15+ year divorce? Come on.
I like Eboni. Hope she remains sane.
The only thing about Lu I care to mention is her body. That gal is TIGHT! Oh & her car.
LOVE RHONY. this was a fun episode. I just cant with leah she is not a fit and not of any interest. I want to give eboni an open mind but it’s not organic either. Keep them great recaps coming.
When I heard Eboni ask Leah if Ramona said “the help” I was laughing.
Leah gives a whole slew of shit what people think of her, despite what she so loudly proclaims, which is why she is such an angry pain in the ass. If she were are carefree as she would want us to think she is, she wouldn’t act like such a bitch. Actually? She feels inferior to everyone hence all her bravado. That huge pink pussy bow? Seriously? She’s a cartoon character.
Let me pile on. If we played a drinking game that involved every time she said “like,” we’d all wind up hospitalized. And her grammar makes me want to throat punch her….”I’ve had some amazing end of life conversations like with my grandmother, like just me and her and if she dies today….”
Jesus!
I started counting how many times she said “like” at one point, and just finally stopped counting. She does not come across as educated, as a business woman, or even an adult. I have a former sister-in-law who speaks like this. Someone once asked I was “like” the first damn word she said when she woke up and the last damn word out of her mouth before she fell asleep.
She sounds like a Kardashian. LIke this, like that, slightly nasal. There’s a resemblance, I swear.
Amen, Amen, Amen !!!!
Did anyone notice Leahs pupils were dilated and her eyes were wide and her face changed? 99% sure she took some ecstasy for her “sober from alcohol” Burning Man Hamptons redo
My mom sent me to a church camp when I was in 8th grade. It wasn’t my religion but my mom’s best friend’s daughter didn’t have any friends though she made me go with her. It took us roller skating one night and a girl thought I skated with a guy she liked tell she pulled my hair which then made me kick her in the crotch with my roller skate. They want me to apologize to her but I was yelling at them that this wasn’t even my religion and I never had to go back to church camp
I loved church camp. We went on a bus to Lake Placid NY one year, from Atlanta. The boy I liked was kind of too old to be there and he was allowed to smoke cigarettes in the bathroom. He would leave me a half one and I would go in when he came out. LOL.
I was also in choir. I can’t sing but they had to let me anyway. Ha. My first kiss and subsequent makeout session occurred in the balcony of the sanctuary and other hidden places on Wednesday nights.
What are we doing here without Dorinda?
I miss Dorinda.
AMEN
I miss Dorinda, she had a terrible season last year but she is a top tier housewife who is such a good fit with the other women. She also meshed with Leah which made it seem less weird she was there. I like Leah but without Dorinda and Tinsley there she has a hard time fitting in.
Yes I agree Lisa! I think you hit the nail on the head about Leah!
Oh I don’t know that party seemed liked forced and faked “fun”. And Leah and Luanne not drinking is good for them but not so good for the show (not that I want them to relapse god forbid).
This show has jumped the shark. Taking it off the DVR schedule, no Bethenny, no Tinsley, no Dorinda
Clip & done
Yeah- they need to bring at least one of them back. After they get rid of loud, thirsty Leah (one can dream).
Agreed. Can’t do Leah at all!!!
Leah is ruining this show. She does not fit in and tries too hard. The ratings speak for themselves. I like Ebony. She can stay but this season is just awful in my opinion. Ebony and Ramona are more alike, on the pruddish side. I am trying to stick it out for Heather to see what’s up with her. Also, boring. I feel asleep the 15 minutes.
* Fell asleep the last 15 minutes. Bored both shows so far.
I’m surprised the awful screaming didn’t wake you up. I found myself running for the remote …”geez shut up”. It was bad.
Glad I slept through that then. Sounds like I didn’t miss anything.
Your recap was more entertaining than the show. I’m liking Eboni a lot and I’m done with Leah and wtf with the huge pink bow? I kind of have a girl crush on her sister though.
Ugh, the screaming. The sobbing. I don’t know if I am happy these bs healers are swindling money from the broads or if I am disgusted by it. It’s absolute hocus pocus.
Those “old” women looked pretty darn good in their burning man outfits. Ramona doesn’t age.
Sonya is hard to take seriously with her Morgan mourning. Get over it. Clinging to status that doesn’t exist anymore is cringy.
It takes me back to the comment she made about being on a yacht with someone famous — JFK? Madonna? Prince? I don’t know but name-dropping is cringy too.