Wow! It has been forever since we had a MDLNY recap! It was prepandemic! Page views and comments went down hear during the pandemic, and it was shocking to see how many comments this show used to get. Now that things are easing up, and I am starting to get back on track with the site, I hope we can get back normal around here. Being cooped up for so long has so many of us on edge, especially me. Let’s get back to just having fun here! I’m ready! Sort of. 🙂 I’m at least getting there.
Okay let’s go! I already miss Luis. I love him so much. And he seems to have totally deleted is IG. 🙁 Anyway, houses in the hood are setting record highs for sales and I almost feel like I need to get out while the getting is good. But Banjo has a huge back yard and when one of my trees fell into the nice neighbors yard recently and I was afraid he might try to get out over the broken fence, I would take him out on a leash. Um NOE. I will not be doing that with a dog in an apartment. If I don’t have a fenced back yard, I will not get another dog EVER. And I really want a nice apartment with a maid. So I will likely never get another dog. And am probably missing out on cashing in at the moment.
Ryan’s baby is amazing. This show makes me happy already. Thursday nights are the best on Bravo. Ryan is pitching for a listing for the THIRD TIME. Ryan says it is the most badass home he has ever seen. Everything is very fancy pants. I have a buyer for this house! My imaginary husband needs this house. I do not want it. I hate modern stuff. I’ll move into his cape house and he can live here. Even though the already has a Manhattan apartment. But I would housesit. Because I am a very good imaginary wife. lol. Sorry I got a bit distracted. I went to Ryan’s site to send the addy of this place to my imaginary boyfriend and realized that he follows 999 people. I WANT TO BE THE 1,000th one so badly.
A New FEMALE Realtor!
Fun fact. I was actually a realtor for a bit when I was 19. I sold one house. To my sister. lol. I also was sure I failed my exam, it was really hard but I am a good test taker. However, breaking news most 19 year olds do not know people who are buying homes. So there was a lot of unproductive “canvassing” going on. If you don’t know what that means count yourself as lucky. It involved lots of “Hi, I’m Tamara and I know I look twelve to you but, I’d like to list your house!”
In contrast, newbie, Kirsten Jordan is a badass boss bitch. Her husband is a developer. She has to keep him really talked down regarding his pricing. She is ridiculously skinny so she will probably be annoying. Because, HUNGRY. I’m already a bit annoyed by her. Her listing on the other hand is quite lovely. It is directly across from Citibank and if I was an intern I’d spend my time peeping. I’m just going to be honest.
I need a moment. Steve Gold shaved his hair off? NOE. JUST NOE. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING? No wonder why I didn’t really recognize him in photos. MAKE THIS STOP. And he has a baby but has not married the baby mama. I’m not okay with any of this. He needs to go away until he has hair again. I also hate how people in New York say “Manhattan” like Paris Hilton would have said on one of her reality shows. I’m also not impressed with his listing. Or his lack of hair.
I love him. He is hysterical. And he is all about the LERWKS. He is off to the biggest listing of his life. He has to tell them they need to restage and lower the price. The staging is HORRIFIC. Like so bad it has to be made up for the show. He is asking for over $100K to restage. It really is that bad. He also wants to drop the price by two million dollars. Tyler has a call with a client who agrees to the price drop but not the restaging. So Tyler paid for a string quartet and some wine and redid a brokers open with his besties. Including Kelli Bensimon! She is still weird. Apparently she is a Realtor now. Who knew?
But Ryan is unimpressed but the newbie. There is no place to sit! Where is the furniture? Well actually Ryan it is better than the weird staging that was there. Ryan likes Tyler now. Tyler loves Ryan. I am pulling for Tyler. I love that the guys are helping out Tyler. But, hide the toilet paper? Then Kirsten and Tyler really get into it on pricing. Kirsten manages to steal Tyler’s listings???
Apparently, I forgot to hit publish on this last night. It was done but didn’t post.