Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

  • COMMENTING RULES!
  • RHOA
  • RHOBH
  • RHUGT
  • RHONY
  • RHONJ
  • RHOOC
  • RHOP
  • RHOSLC
  • RHOD
  • RHODubai
  • Pump Rules
  • Southern Charm
  • Below Deck
  • Project Runway
  • MDLLA
  • MDLNY
  • Summer House
  • Top Chef
  • Killing Eve
  • Open Forum
  • MAFS
  • 90 Day
  • The Amazing Race
  • Big Brother 24
  • 60 Days In
You are here: Home / RHONJ / RHONJ Recap: Teresa’s Mystery Man

RHONJ Recap: Teresa’s Mystery Man

May 5, 2021 by tamaratattles 30 Comments

RHONJ RecapIs it me or is it always a housewives birthday on these shows? Tonight’s RHONJ recap will include the girls taking her apple picking for her birthday. Apple picking? I mean it does look like a beautiful day. But compared to other housewives birthdays… I’m just saying. Also I got a ton of sleep last night and am back to full health. And I’ve been having a sane day! I’m loving reading all the comments. I’m going to start chatting in comments more. It reminds me that this isn’t just a job, it’s a group of friends. And I am glad to have so many.

RHONJ RecapJoe Is Over Being The Man Of Teresa’s House

What the hell does “starting over never tasted so good” even mean? It’s so Teresa.  Oh Jackie actually scheduled her own birthday event. They are going on a nice fall trip with apple picking and wine tasting and an apparent overnight. Dolores lies and says she has a doctor’s appointment so that she doesn’t have to ride in the van with the other women. They all just pissed her off at the last event. I don’t blame her. Meanwhile, Jennifer is finally getting some furniture. On of my commenters who is local says that the house appears to be empty with dead grass every time she passes it on her way to work. Jennifer’s mother calls and they have a huge fight. She thinks that Jennifer embarrassed her at the tea party.

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

Joe Gorga is over at Teresa’s and she gets him to help her take out the trash. Joe is in love with Teresa’s new man, Louis Ruelas. Speaking of Jersey Joes, I just realized when they showed the flashback of Joe Giudice treating Teresa horribly that I forgot some news on my random news post. Apollo Nida has decided to challenge Joe Giudice to a fight. Joe was supposed to fight someone else, I forgot who. But that fell through. Who do you think would win that fight? They both did a lot of training in prison. Melissa is mad that her brother told everyone she is in love. He says they need to take the next steps in the relationship. Like taking out the trash. Cynthia and Noelle did a cute (but very scripted) ad for Dove regarding selfies and girls self esteem.

Margaret Shoots Photos For Her Book Jacket

It seems like everyone on reality TV is “writing a book.” Ghost writers have never had it as good as they do during this ridiculous reality TV phase we are stuck in. Silly me. I thought we were getting straight to the trip. Marge Senior was in the shots for the photo on the back. Meanwhile, Dolores and Frank celebrate Frankie and Gabby’s birthday. Apparently, Frankie is working on Wall Street. Gabby is finishing? Finished with Vet school. David shows up for the celebration as well. Delores is still pissed that everyone at the last party said that David was stalling on the ring by buying her a Porsche.

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

Why in the holy hell is this recording AH HOUR AND A HALF LONG? I HATE BRAVO SO MUCH! STOP TACKING THINGS ON TO HOUSEWIVES RECORDINGS! Finally, everyone is gathering at Jackie’s place to head to apple country. They talk about Delores having a “doctor’s appointment” and driving up alone. Melissa says that she thinks Louis is Teresa’s husband. The girls all got together to get Jackie a pretty pair of earrings. Jennifer cries because her mother is so upset with her. Melissa gets a call from Joe who is in a lot of pain and needs to go to the hospital. There is so much drama on this show! Melissa bolts to go to the hospital. Teresa does not.

Girls Trip!

So we are down to four of the girls arriving at the winery. It’s such a beautiful day there! By the way, the rain stopped here and we won’t be getting anymore until Monday! Yippee! That has a lot to do with why I had another good day today. Dolores arrives right behind. She says that Joe Gorga is trying to pass a kidney stone. YIKES. #GrabsCrotch I just realized that I pretty much like everyone on this franchise. There is no one truly horrible person. I’m even okay with Teresa and her felonious past. Delores says that Joe Gorga is going through something and that is why he was so mean to her at the party. What an adult response!  Who knew Jersey would be the franchise of sane and rational adults?

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

Delores wants to know who raised their hand when the poll was taken about the Porsche being a stalling technique from David. Jackie says she did. She just felt like Delores was really ready for the ring. And we have arrived at the apple trees. Chef Teresa wants to make an apple pie. She asks where the McToshes are. The kind guide lets her know they are called Macintoshes and they are really bad for baking because they are soft and gooey. I immediately think of this blind.

And The Survey Says!

The ladies go back to talking about the poll in small groups. If I was Dolores and my friends were all taking a public poll about my relationship at a party, I’d never speak to them again. As Dolores says, what if I were taking a public poll about Jackie’s husband screwing around? She’d loose her damn mind and rightly so! The same with a poll about whether or not Melissa and Joe’s marriage is going to survive.  She would never take part in any of those polls. She’s pissed.

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

This woman helping the women pick apples and driving them back is a saint. Then the ladies go to the winery for some outdoor wine tasting and finger foods. Margaret is having the next event. It’s a combination of a Halloween Party (Please no Native American Headresses!) and Margaret’s Joe’s birthday party. Jennifer says that Dolores’ should bring David to the party because he should be there for her at least once.  This of course sets Dolores AWF!  Then shockingly, everyone acts like adults and tells Delores they support her in whatever she wants for herself.

RHONJ RecapMeanwhile, Back At Chez Gorga

Joe apparently passed his kidney stone and is feeling much better. Joe and Melissa both sing David’s praises. I’m shocked he checked in with Joe because he is a OB who delivers babies in dire circumstances if I understand that correctly. Melissa tells Joe to lay off of David and to stay out of Dolores’ relationship. He says Dolores is his friend and he has known her longer than he has known his wife and he will do whatever he wants. Melissa points out that women do not NEED a man. This is antithetical to EVERYTHING Joe believes so, an argument ensues.

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

I am SOOOOOOOO Team Joe Gorga on this argument. Joe just wants to feel like he has a wife and not a business partner. Melissa is not listening to her husband at all. All he is doing is asking for more attention. If the sexes were reversed, and Joe was blowing her off when she asked for attention everyone would be in an uproar. Joe says, go be a powerful businesswoman. Go do whatever you want to be in life. We’re done.

Teresa gets ready for a dinner date with Louis. OMG. Milania is only 14 but she looks so grown up! She is so pretty! She wears a lot of makeup for her age though. She’s done a whole glam squad for this scene. Teresa needs to watch out for this one. Then, Teresa goes out with Louis looking like a streetwalker. So maybe it is genetic.

RHONJ RecapWWHL With The Husbands

OMG the husbands all have taglines. I’m DYING here.

Frank: I don’t know how the other men rank, but remember there is a reason they call me Big Frank.

Margaret’s Joe: I always wear the pants even if my wife picks out the shirt.

Bill: I’m the only bill my wife is responsible for.

Evan: The only stuff I am doing at the gym is turning heads.

Joe Gorga: If you envy my wife, get a load of my life.

RHONJ Recap

OMG Joe Gorga’s was kind of lame and Frank’s could have been better but the rest were PRICELESS. The WWHL inter who wrote these needs to do all the housewives taglines. I am kind of shocked that Evan agreed to this.  Frank admits to having gotten a little botox. They did a lot of raise your hand polls for the guys. It was funny. I’m sorry I am not giving a blow by blow of this. The reason is all I keep thinking is that The Real Househusbands of New Jersey Would be a much better show than any Real Housewives show EVER.

Click Here For More RHONJ Recaps!

Joe Gorga says he doesn’t regret saying that Frank made Dolores a broken woman. Joe Gorga says he is shocked by Joe Wakile’s public statement calling him and Melissa farm animals. He really misses Rosie. But Richie not so much. He says the reason that Richie’s kids are speaking so negatively is because of him. I love ALL the Wakiles and know people that know them and they are supposedly all quite lovely. Evan jokes about Jackie’s aversion to blowjobs and how he hopes to get one one day. I feel like she probably does at least occasionally.

Margaret’s Joe admits he heard the cheating rumor about Evan from Margaret’s “staff.” OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH on the drink or answer the question round, Frank drinks rather that tell when the last time he had sex with Dolores was. THESE TWO NEED TO GET BACK TOGETHER. Earlier in the show, Andy asked about the psychic saying that David was not her soul mate. He said he is Dolores’ soulmate. I TOTALLY AGREE!

While I am pissed about it always being tacked on and fucking up my DVR this was the best episode of WWHL EVER!

 

 

 

 

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ Tagged With: Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Frank Catania, Jackie Goldschneider, Jennifer Aydin, Joe Gorga, Luis “Louie” Ruelas, Margaret Josephs, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Guidice

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. JoJoFLL says

    May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm

    With the exception of Evan, I can’t stand the Jersey men. Frank and Joe are roided up greasy and seem desperate to be on TV.

    Plus, I never want to see Joe Gorgas ass again.

    Gross.

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      May 6, 2021 at 10:39 am

      They’re stereotypical guidos who give Italians a bad name. I’m tired of Frank. He was a POS to Delores, cheated on her while she was pregnant, wouldn’t be surprised if he was physical with her, committed fraud and got disbarred but everyone loooovveeeess him. He only went slithering back to Delores because his brazilian wife kicked him to the curb. These guys put on a good show pretending to be someone they are not. People need to stop falling for it.

      As far as the gorgas go, I was the same age as Melissa when I realized that I had outgrown my husband. He stayed the same and I matured. His behavior that I once thought was cute, was now annoying and pathetic

      Reply
      • 4paz says

        May 6, 2021 at 11:41 am

        ITA. Grow together or grow apart: either way you’re growing, right?

        Reply
        • Ktina says

          May 7, 2021 at 4:55 pm

          Exactly! I was 19 when I met him so I’m not even close to being the same person that I was at that age.

          Reply
  2. MelG says

    May 5, 2021 at 11:46 pm

    I missed it. Got in late. I will watch it on On Demand. I had really wanted to watch WWHL. I like this group of men and the M2M men. I would watch a show w/either group. I think they are much more entertaining than the women, and with the M2M men it’s almost like they have some kind of unspoken pact, they just do NOT allow the women to pull them into the drama. Two episodes ago the men shut Toya down when she came over to their area outside at the D.C. house trying to pull them in. They were like uh no, we don’t want to know, he don’t want to know. They just weren’t having any of it.

    Reply
  3. 55WTH says

    May 5, 2021 at 11:52 pm

    “I immediately think of this blind” – that’s why we love you TT. Loved the guys on WWHL and their tag lines.

    Reply
  4. gigi says

    May 6, 2021 at 12:09 am

    I passed 2 kidney stones. It was HORRIFIC. Only morphine helps until the damn thing leaves. Eat lots of asparagus, they dissolve stones. That and, DIET COKE! Yes, the Dr. at the ER told me this. I thought he was kidding so I went back a few days later and sure enough, he said it and it wasn’t an end of my morphine thing.
    I think I like the husbands more than the women. They have each others back, unlike some of these women but I do like this franchise more than any of the others. Tre cannot be that stupid not to know the name of McIntosh. Dear God what was she wearing out on that date. Why do these women have the tackiest taste? Really, why? Is it genetic? Is it a Jersey thing? It did make me want to make an apple pie tho….

    Reply
  5. Kate says

    May 6, 2021 at 1:52 am

    You are right Milania is strikingly beautiful.
    It must have been hard being raised by a mom who is so self centered and self obsessed: what do you think I should wear? what do you think of my boyfriend ? what will you do while I’m on my date? Teresa is consistent -she shows no interest in anyone but herself.
    It’s one thing to watch this behavior with her ladies but with her daughter it’s just it painful to watch.

    Reply
  6. MsCarly says

    May 6, 2021 at 9:48 am

    I loved the men on WWHL last night, they are hysterical! I blew kisses to Bill during the entire show. I love Bill. His quote about his wife when it came to spending money, any woman who gives a man 5 children can have carte blanche. Carte blanche indeed Bill.

    Reply
    • 4paz says

      May 6, 2021 at 11:39 am

      That was a really nice thing to say. Jennifer loves him, and he adores her: it is a match made in heaven.

      Reply
    • RDW says

      May 6, 2021 at 6:53 pm

      Me too, isn’t that the truth! I can’t imagine 5 kids. I loved WWHIL! The tag lines were hysterical. I think I enjoyed it more than housewives episode.

      Reply
      • MelG says

        May 6, 2021 at 8:45 pm

        Me too! I watched this evening on On Demand.

        Reply
  7. Audrey Stewart says

    May 6, 2021 at 10:44 am

    When Dolores said that Frank and Joe should go together and get colonoscopies…like it’s fun? Who is driving them home? I had one and I was completely sedated. I woke up to no pain and I was freezing cold. They take you out in a wheelchair to a car waiting…with a driver. The prep the day before is no picnic either.

    Reply
  8. Terri says

    May 6, 2021 at 11:45 am

    I agree with you Tamara, I wish Bravo would stop tacking WWHL o to the end of another show. I watch Chicago Med, Chicago Fire & Chicago PD (can you tell I was born & raised in Chicago?). I recorded RHONJ and was supposed to be recording A Million Little Things but since Bravo added WWHL, I now have to watch Million on ONDemand. That being said, I did enjoy the guys being interviewed by Andy last night.

    Melania is very pretty. I remember when my niece was that age and she wore about as much makeup as Melania was wearing so that didn’t phase me. Teresa’s date outfit was way, way too trashy.

    I honestly don’t know why the ladies are so concerned about Delores getting engaged. If they’d each focus a little more on their own relationships they’d have less time to stick their noses where they don’t belong.

    Great recap, Tamara. I’m glad you’re feeling better and the weather is nicer. It’s supposed to hit 100 in Vegas today with really strong winds moving in.

    Reply
  9. Lisa Cantu says

    May 6, 2021 at 11:48 am

    I’m glad Teresa is moving on but wth has she done to her face? So many fillers she looks like she’s having an allergic reaction to something and needs an a benadryl. I stopped and stared at her during one of her confessionals and it really looks bad.

    Reply
  10. beerandy says

    May 6, 2021 at 12:09 pm

    I like all of the ladies, except Jackie. There are sides to her I do like, though. I love all of the men except Evan. I just can’t put my finger on why. Seeing Teresa’s girls is just mind blowing to me. Those of us who have watched since since one have literally watched them grow up and have Audriana come into the world.

    Reply
  11. Jodi says

    May 6, 2021 at 2:18 pm

    I saw a clip with just the men’s taglines and cracked up. I love these guys! They seem to genuinely like each other!
    I also cracked up when Delores’s son said about David being called in to do surgery on a lifelined baby something like, “and he flew the helicopter as he delivered the baby!” It is an unusual family dynamic but from that scene everyone likes each other and it can’t get much better than that!

    Reply
  12. Lisa Stroh says

    May 6, 2021 at 2:46 pm

    I couldn’t date or marry any of the jersey men, but I LOVE WATCHING THEM. Frank is probably my favorite RH spouse. I just can’t help but love him. I take it back, my husband is a lot like Marge’s Joe. He is laid back and funny. Supports me and has my back and loves listening to my friends gossip. I enjoy Jersey probably the most at this point because they have a natural rhythm with each other. It isn’t forced.

    Reply
    • Marc says

      May 6, 2021 at 4:35 pm

      Exactly. Nothing seems forced. Whether they like each other love each other or hate each other it NEVER seems forced. All of the other franchises would benefit from being more organic in nature like the Jersey cast.

      Reply
  13. Annabelle says

    May 6, 2021 at 3:32 pm

    I feel like Melissa is looking younger while Joe is looking old. Maybe it’s the beard, but hes just not that catch he used to be, to me anyway. Yikes with, Margate’s jewelry, reminds me of the 80s. But her red lipstick, so pretty against the green dress. Loved the family stuff with Dolores and her family. I love how little frankie wanted the cakes frozen in freezer, they are too cute. We need more scene like this on these shows. Stuff like this and Tre talking to Melania are just genuine loving moments I miss from the franchises. Overall the show was great and it’s nice to see Tre evolve into a happy woman, not being mentally abused by Joe Guidice. Who would win in a fight depends on their training, styling of fighting, discipline, although I think Apollo has a better reach advantage, I’ve seen little guys take down bigger men though. I know Joe trains, but he either gets distracted or lazy, so can’t say. And yes I thought about this too much, haha!! Omg I hate Margaret always stirring the shit, just take book cover your photos and stfu! Oh and I use some Macintosh in my pies, I mix like 4 varieties, because I hate purely granny Smith pies. I like the variety, texture, and flavor they add to the pies. I think there is a part of Melissa that would love to be free, single, I dunno JLo in her mind, lol, but will soon realize what she gave was not worth it. I need to see this WWHL now!!

    Reply
    • Audrey Stewart says

      May 6, 2021 at 5:19 pm

      Joe Gorga, Mr. Works Out, bitches everytime he has to lift a suitcase for one of the ladies. He always complains that they are to heavy, what’d they pack, and really struggles to lift them into the car. He is the husband I don’t like. I feel like Melissa stays with him to keep her place on the show.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        May 6, 2021 at 5:37 pm

        Aw, I love Joe. I’m starting to think I need me a NJ Italian (yankee!!!) boyfriend. Or you know, just a sex partner. lol.

        Reply
        • MelG says

          May 6, 2021 at 8:47 pm

          Yes, on BOTH!

          Reply
        • XOXO says

          May 11, 2021 at 8:06 pm

          I love Joe Gorga too. It’s hard not to be drawn to someone who is passionate and lives his life joyfully.

          I also think he has a point with Melissa. From what we’ve seen he totally supports her and adores her. He’s just asking for some attention. The guys seem to agree. But, it could be because we like Joe that we’re siding with him. That’s how it works, naturally.

          Reply
      • Annabelle says

        May 6, 2021 at 6:27 pm

        Maybe low center of gravity 🤣 I get it, I’m short, lifting the dog food bag can be a bitch🤪 I think deep down she loves how much he loves her. He looked much better on WWHL I have to say, the Joe of old. Been there done that with NY/NJ Italians, but yes for sex good idea!

        Reply
  14. Mona lisa says

    May 6, 2021 at 3:52 pm

    I love Dr. Bill Aydin 😍Jennifer is one lucky gal!.

    Reply
    • Jdplondon says

      May 7, 2021 at 3:35 pm

      Agree…….

      Reply
  15. Marc says

    May 6, 2021 at 4:29 pm

    I love RHONJ. I loved seeing Delores with her children celebrating their birthdays. This show always has so much going on ( & needs no vapid production intervention like most of the housewives shows ) & it’s the only show not in rapid decline. Long live RHONJ !

    Reply
  16. LisaLisa says

    May 6, 2021 at 10:55 pm

    I don’t think Dolores is in love with David and I think she knows the relationship (whatever it is) is going nowhere. I think she’s fine with that because it provides a buffer between her and Frank. I think she still loves Frank. They appear very compatible and comfortable with each other . I think she she hesitates to remarry Frank for fear of being cheated on again.She also isn’t the same woman he married anymore, she is very independent and has a voice. Frank has said he loves her and would love to be with her but his biggest fear would be if he ever hurt her again.The day she trusts that he isn’t the same man who cheated on her will be the day she lets the wall down I’m all for Dolores and Frank.

    Reply
  17. Taysum says

    May 7, 2021 at 6:29 am

    Let’s rank the NJ househusbands in 🔥 to not so much. I will go first (This is only on looks, completely shallow, I know). Keeping with the NJ theme.
    1) Joe Gorga
    2) Evan
    3) Bill
    4) Frank
    5) Joe B.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Come For The Tea, Stay For The Shade!

  • Open Forum: Did Everyone Survive the SnowPocalpse?
  • RHSLC Discussion Thread…
  • Thanks For The Packages…But
  • Below Deck Recap: His Watch Has Ended
  • Can We Talk About The Banshees of Inisherin ?
  • Sister Wives Tell All Part I: And Then There Was One… Live Discussion
  • Family Karma Recap: The Dysfunctional Dinner

SEARCH TAMARA TATTLES

Recent Comments

  • Anon on Thanks For The Packages…But
  • Erica on Open Forum: Did Everyone Survive the SnowPocalpse?
  • Erica on Open Forum: Did Everyone Survive the SnowPocalpse?
  • HeadRedYes on Porsha Williams Marries Simon Guobadia’s Two Weekend Weddings
  • Staceychris on Open Forum: Did Everyone Survive the SnowPocalpse?
  • JustJenn on Thanks For The Packages…But
  • Erica on Open Forum: Did Everyone Survive the SnowPocalpse?

Archives

Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in