Well, we are coming down the home stretch after the soon to be forgotten and never discussed again season of Bolo with the penultimate RHOA recap for this miserable season. I hope you all had a lovely Orthodox Easter Sunday. I came up with a million things to do other than hunting for the kitchen floor. Banjo even got to go for a walk. Tonight it appears will focus on …. guess what? COME ON, GUESS! Did you guess Bolo? Le sigh. And somehow production thought we need three reunion episodes. Why? Why God, why? I should warn you in advance, I’m not going to do a blow by blow of everything. This whole season was an utter fail.
I know You Are The Youngest, But Don’t Pretend To Be The Stupidest
We begin with a ridiculous montage of the season full of things we didn’t want to see the first time. Latoya is trying to defend herself for her constant attacks on Drew. No one cares. Last I heard, Latoya is out for next season. She’s already irrelevant. Kenya is pissed that her haircare business was included in the “bad wig” drama between Drew and Latoya online. Andy wants to talk about Kenya and Latoya’s sexual attraction Le sigh. Seven minutes in and I am praying for my cable to go out. Not really. There are a lot of good shows on tonight. POSE premieres tonight! Blah, blah, blah Andy tries to make it seem like Kenya and Latoya got together. They did not.
Next we have an argument about whether Latoya and Drew kissed in the dungeon or not. Then, Latoya has to answer about why she shared all of Kenya’s divorce secrets. Marlo walks in half nekkid and Shamea walks in Andy asks Shamea who her inspiration is for her look. As, I am trying to remember the name of the poodle in that dog movie where they share a spaghetti noodle, Marlo says, “Coming to America.” At least Shamea has clothes on, Marlo. Her outfit is just fine it’s the hair. It’s the earRANGS, it’s the four inches of makeup. Who did this to her? She was pretty before her “glam squad” did this. Do they hate her?
Kenya & The Crab Cake & The Whole Dick In A Box
Shamea is bring the shade this reunion and it is all going to Marlo. I don’t even remember seeing these two in the same room but they seem to hate each other. There is a lot of random hate and general bitching and preaching happening in the world lately. I find it exhausting. Shamea brings up all the liposuction Marlo had during the season. Apparently, she had lipo twice in a year. Was it on sale during the pandemic? When Kenya ordering a crab cake and not asking the others is a reunion topic, you know the season sucked. Am I the one who had to use the air and the heat in the same day lately?
When Kenya tries to explain why she brought her kid on the trip, she tells Kandi that she arranged to have a whole dick in a box come there. Surely, if she wanted her kid to come she could have worked that out. MIght I point out that Kandi lives with a husband and nannies and travels for her other jobz all the time. She didn’t need to bring her kid. Porsha’s mother basically lives with her and her kid. Drew has a husband at home. I was a long weekend and Kenya brought Brooklyn and a nanny and production put her on the jet. She didn’t book it herself. Andy knows that Kenya didn’t book the jet. That was the production jet. This is so ridiculous. Kenya will not allow Porsha to speak.
Good Lord Kenya Is Giving Me A Headache
Kenya will not allow Drew to speak. She blurts out some random comment about Drew having body issues. Drew says that she has a medical issue that causes tissue to grow in her abdomen and has to have a hysterectomy. She apparently sees Dr. Jackie. Kenya is giving me a headache. Kenya and Drew argue about who has more acting roles. The answer is Drew. Now I see why Kenya can’t stand Drew. It’s the same reason she didn’t like Kim Fields. She’s jealous of their careers. It all makes sense now. Can we PUHLEASE move on?
Cynthia’s segment is all about bashing her for such a huge wedding. No one except for Kandi says they would have had a big wedding during the pandemic. A viewer asked why Mike’s daughter Ashley wasn’t at the wedding. You could sort of tell that Cynthia was not prepared for that. She just glossed it over saying that she was going to walk Mike down the aisle with Kaylah and at the last minute Ashley decided not to come. You can tell she is lying and making things up as she goes. I suspect the true answer is she didn’t want to get on a plane during a pandemic and fly for five hours.
If Andy calls Kandi Mistress one more time I might literally throw up. We get montage of Kandi and Porsha’s up and relationship over the years. In other words, more filler footage. Marlo wonders how Porsha and Kandi got so close. Apparently, Marlo is jealous of their new friendship. This is literally the worst reunion I have ever recapped in my eleven years of doing this. Oh look a montage of the Bolo night. I ‘m sorry. But, I cannot watch any more of this crap. I fast forward to the last two minutes. Marlo seems pissed at Porsha. They are not talking. Marlo accuses Porsha of having plastic surgery on her face. She also implies that Kandi told her on the trip that Porsha had sex with Bolo.
I’m going to go drink now. A lot. That was some stupid, tedious bullshit about nothing.