It’s time for the Summer House recap! The looks run the gambit from prom to absolutely stunning. Lindsay and Danielle win the reunion lewks. Let’s take the time to appreciate how lucky we are to have Lindsay on our screen. She’s honestly breathtaking in a bright yellow jumpsuit, which sounds awful and would look awful on anyone else. Danielle looks amazing in a simple curve hugging red dress. Amanda, who is gorgeous, looks almost frumpy in a light blue jumpsuit. Hannah and Ciara are wearing teal prom dresses, while Paige went for a light pink dress with a huge bow across her boobs. It was a choice. The guys look good in their collective suits and Carl in his white pants.
Hannah And Luke Saga
We start off with Hannah and Luke. Luke says that he was honest with Hannah about not wanting a relationship when she wanted clarification as to where they were in their friendship. Hannah says that Luke claimed he wasn’t into “titles”. The fact that both have completely different recollections is telling. I honestly believe both of them with this. Hannah clung to anything Luke said, while Luke likes to believe he doesnt’ string women along-while stringing them along. Danielle, who positively comes alive during this reunion, can’t imagine why Hannah cared at all. Lindsay wonders the same thing. Everyone, save Paige and Ciara, jump on Hannah about her dating timeline. Hannah can’t believe that everyone is holding her accountable. It’s the start of something beautiful. This sets the tone for the rest of the reunion and it’s GLORIOUS.
Andy questions Hannah about sleeping with Des while making Luke look like the bad guy. Kyle says that she was facetiming with a guy who wasn’t Des in the house. Basically everyone is calling Hannah out for making it look like Luke screwed her over. In tried and true Hannah delusional style, she doubles down on how she wasn’t in love with Luke. Everyone else laughs because it’s ridiculous. Amanda says that we all watched the same show, we saw it. Paige won’t answer when put on the spot if Hannah was in love with Luke. We segueway to Ciara. Luke and Ciara dated before Summer House, then Luke ghosted her when he got back with his ex girlfriend. Ciara stayed abstinent for a while after their fling as she had to process their “meaningless” sex. He apologizes for ghosting her. They are no longer friends.
Spray and Pray
We get a Lindsay/Stravy montage. Lindsay says that Stravy was on board with her timeline of marriage and babies. Lindsay says on the night Stravy set up the birthday dinner, she was struggling. She was grieving for Carl and his brother deeply. Lindsay felt that Stravy wasn’t emotionally available that day until he popped up with the surprise. She also felt that Stravy wasn’t working the times he says he was. Danielle wants her to find a successful guy who is cool being with a strong, successful woman. Word up Danielle!
Next, Andy marvels at how Kyle and Amanda didn’t fight at all this season. Kyle says they are in the best place they’ve ever been. Carl credits Amanda for changing Kyle’s fuckboy ways. Andy says that Hannah has been the most vocal about their relationship, which Hannah denies. Kyle reminds Hannah that they were recorded because her denial is bullshit. Hannah and Kyle’s fight is revisited. Amanda wants to know why it’s okay for Hannah to yell at her but no one can raise their voice to Hannah. Hannah starts to cry with no tears. Everyone, again save for Paige and Ciara, roll their eyes in disgust. Hannah cannot take responsibility for anything and when cornered. She plays victim. She truly believes she’s in the right and it’s everyone who is wrong. Paige looks so damn foolish for supporting this bullshit.
A caller asks where the line is between toxic masculinity and an argument with a male friend. Lindsay says they are all equal and fight equally. My opinion is that Hannah weaponizes femininity. Danielle tells Hannah to her face that SHE is the reason the house was toxic. Danielle tells her that she is holding back on a lot of stuff but that Hannah is simply not a good friend. Go Danielle! Hannah talks so much shit on podcasts that she can’t keep her bullshit straight, like saying she’s paid to be Kyle’s friend. Kyle was really hurt by that. Carl jumps in to say that Hannah insinuated that Carl has a drug problem on a podcast. Hannah denies it while everyone confirms it. Lindsay breaks the fourth wall to say that the show started with a group of REAL friends in the Hamptons. Kyle walks off the set in disgust.
Next week on Summer House Reunion Part 2: Paige explains how she navigates being friends with both Hannah and Amanda. Lindsay and Danielle want Paige to take a stand on something, anything. Paige says it’s obvious that Luke and Lindsay hooked up. Lindsay accuses Paige of attacking her character. Danielle is FED UP with Paige gossiping. Amanda says she has no friendship with Hannah. Luke wants to break the 4th wall and clear something up, which leads to Hannah walking away in tears. What do you think it is? THIS WAS SO GOOD! I cannot wait until next week! I’m just getting to the comments from last week now as life at the zoo has me being an unpaid Uber driver for the zoolings. But let’s do this because there’s SO MUCH to discuss!!!!