I wasn’t able to do a Floribama Shore recap last week for some reason I could not record. So, I just watched it on demand. Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens. That’s the point. But there were farm animals and baby heart monitors and a blizzard warning. Jeremiah says they all need to GTFO and go down to Lake Havasu to escape the snow. So tonight’s recap
, which is sadly the season finale, they gang will be fighting in Arizona. UPDATE! NOT THE FINALE! YAY! I LOVE THIS STUPID SHOW!
Havasu Dreams And Beachy Wishes
The crew is thrilled to be the only guests in the hotel. Production clearly rented it out just like Jersey Shore did in Vegas during the Covid shutdown. Lucky idiots. Everyone except Amiee and Candace have bellied up to the poolside bar for dinner and lots of drinks. Gus confesses to Nilsa (in front of everyone at dinner) that he made a solemn pinky promise to Aimee and he broken the promise. Gus had sex with Aimee’s cousin. So this concludes the fun portion of the show with no drunken fights. The second Aimee comes down to da bar, Nilsa wants to tell her. Gus says she needs three shots first. Amiee loses her mind before they even tell her anything.
But once they finally tell her, she is just disappointed and there is no yelling. Until, for some reason, Gus and Kirk start screaming for no reason. Why is Kirk screaming and crying at Gus. And where is Jeremiah to enjoy this? All the girls have moved away from these two. I don’t even see Codi there. Kirk is still crying. These two guys are obviously in love. And just as I type that they profess their love for each other and Codi and Jeremiah emerge from the heated pool. Jeremiah is drunk on his balcony screaming for his brother, Josiah. They are apparently, VERY CLOSE.
The Morning After (I Feel Like I Use This Header A Lot With Reality Shows)
The next morning, Nilsa, Jeremiah and Codi go to breakfast by the lake. Nilsa once again orders half the menu. She’s pregnant and production is covering it, so…. knock yourself out I guess. I’m sure that Whataburger in Missoula misses her business. They have huge water toys set up on the water for them to play on. Gus has a lot of remorse for his outbursts and seems embarrassed to join the others. Gus, Kirk and Kodi rehash the same issues over and over on their balconies. Kirk is exasperated with Gus and thinks he just needs to apologize (again) and move on. And he does. Then he goes to take a nap.
Everyone else goes to the bar to day drink. Candace is skating around the pool area in her bikini and almost wipes out on production cords. Jeremiah takes about four shots in one cup. Meanwhile Kodi has peed in the pool and and gotten butt naked. Next, all four guys go over to giant inflatable obstacle course. It’s Codi versus Gus. Kirk and Jeremiah are just watching and laughing. Jeremiah is super drunk and Kodi asks him which of his siblings is his favorite. Jeremiah drones on about how he has learned not to take his family for granted. This entire conversation is overheard by Gus who is also at the bar. He’s not close with his family and is on the outside of this friends group so he is getting sad. Where is Kirk?
My favorite part of this episode is the talking head with the incredibly intoxicated, bawling Codi with his mini-sweatshirt on exposing his stomach hare that was shaved in a bizarre pattern after he lost a bet. He is crying about Jeremiah telling him how he considers him family. When that is over, Jeremiah is at the bar crying and Codi is back sitting next to him and they are whispering and crying like long lost lovers. My other favorite part is Candace’s LEWKS.
Aimee gets drunk and cries because she knows that Gus is going through a lot. Wait. Is that where the season ends with everyone crying? Oh YAY! IT IS NOT THE FINALE! Next week Jeremiah’s stupid brother comes to the lake. As if they need more testosterone and roid rage.