It’s time for another RHONJ recap and tonight Joe Gorga spills the beans about Teresa’s shady as fuck boyfriend. In other words, it’s a perfect match. It looks like a crazy episode. So let’s get straight to it.
The food at Jennifer’s house always looks so good. While the ladies chow down, they talk about their mother’s and how sad they feel for Teresa. Jennifer has renovated a house for her mother so she can be close to her. Jennifer tells Dolores’ mother that the psychic said that David is not her soulmate. Dolores is pissed about it. Dolores is happy with the way things are. Two or three of the mothers live apart from their husbands. Jennifer’s mother is embarrassed that she and her husband live apart.
Next, we are off to the golf course where the husbands are playing golf. None of them really seem to play golf except for Joe Gorga. Margaret’s Joe is awful. Oh wait, Jackie’s husband is good. They make a lot of silly bets and Frank loses and has to kiss Joe Gorga’s ass. Ew. That was a fun little outing but a very short scene. They clearly all just wanted to go to the 19th hole. Then, they all go to the club and order drinks and appetizers. They all talk about their wives. The guys start to talk about their wives. But then, the conversation turns to Teresa’s new boyfriend. They are grilling Joe Gorga. He says he likes the guy and she is in love. It’s true that men gossip just as much as women, if not more.
Felons Apparently Just Stay Rich
Teresa goes to look for a new house. She’s looking a modern, clean houses. It’s nothing like the gaudy place she lives in now. It’s really pretty. And it has a basement apartment for Gia. It’s a really nice house. It’s $2,195,000. Since apparently Teresa and Joe have a lot of mattress money apparently from their shady ways, she can afford it. I hear that property taxes in NJ are insanely expensive. The real estate agent wants to set her up with a guy. But she is already involved with Louie.
Melissa and Margaret take their Joes to a beautiful outdoor dining area on the water. It’s really nice. The Margaret brings up that Joe told all the guys and Melissa has a new man and is already in love. Melissa is trying not to confirm or deny because she and Joe were sworn to secrecy. Margaret orders “eggs Savannah style.” I used to live in Savannah and never heard of such a thing. Then again, I don’t eat eggs. Melissa irritated with Joe for spilling all of the tea. Joe really likes Louis. Dolores had to go to get an ultrasound on her breast. She went alone with a driver. She’s really very nervous about it. But everything came back fine.
Rock Out With Your Cocktail Out!
Everyone is going to a cocktail party at Teresa’s lawyer’s house. The wives all tell their husbands not to let Joe Gorga get them too wasted. Which means the storyline is all the guys get wasted. The food looks amazing! Right away the guys start playing the video they took of Frank kissing Joe Gorga’s ass. And sadly, we got to see it crack and all. Everyone is talking about how Teresa is in love with her new man. The realtor lady is shocked because she invited a date for Teresa to the party. Margaret tells Teresa that Joe Gorga told all the guys she is in a relationship and they are in love. Ut Oh. She’s pissed.
This is one fancy party. I feel like the realtor actually paid for it. It’s a few steps above the usual Bravo fare. Poor Dave shows up hoping for a date with Teresa but she is not having it. Teresa and Jackie are getting along just fine at this party. The ladies start wondering where Delores is. Apparently, he boyfriend David got her a new Porsche for her birthday. Melissa thinks this is David biding his time so he doesn’t have to propose. Let the shots begin! Dolores arrives with her date, Frank. When are these two going to get married? Or Frank could marry David. The guys all think David is postponing the engagement with the car.
Dolores Is Broken?
Teresa is busy texting her boyfriend and ignoring everyone. Then, Teresa makes a quick exit. She says she needs to be home with the girls but everyone knows she is leaving to be with her man. Dolores defends her friend and says the Teresa has been through a lot. Let her have her man. She also understands why she doesn’t want to tell everyone all about it. This crowd is very judgmental. Joe starts talking about Dolores’ relationship. She tells Joe that she’s fine with her relationship and she doesn’t want a husband who freaks out if she walks in front of him.
Joe starts going off about how Frank ruined Delores when he cheated on her. So, now she is broken. Clearly, Joe Gorga is wasted. Dolores calls Joe a Neanderthal. Jackie has some interesting opinions about what is going on. She thinks that Joe is really sending a message to Teresa about how much she needs him. I don’t think Joe Gorga is that smart and to me Jackie is overthinking it. Dolores says she is happy. Margaret says that Joe Gorga is chauvinistic. Melissa may be overserved too because in this group she loudly tells Dolores that everyone thinks the Porsche was an effort to stall instead of buying her a ring. Dolores tells everyone that she is very happy in her relationship and then asks Frank to take her home. Dolores tells every to go fuck themselves.
Next week: We meet Teresa’s true love, Jennifer has a huge fight with her mother and Joe Gorga tells Melissa they are done.