I missed last week’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap and am only now watching the show in preparation for tonight’s recap. I have never in my life seen a head stew behave like Daisy does toward Natasha. They are the same rank. If Natasha was a man Daisy would not be acting this way. Meanwhile, Gary didn’t sign up to be a dishwasher, but he might have signed on to do laundry is if Alli is in there. The guests continue to rave about her food until production tells them not to. Daisy can’t seem to figure out why Natasha doesn’t like her. Here’s a hint Daisy, you’re a bitch.
I can’t believe that JL is on the phone telling his mommy about Dani while Colin and Gary deal with the guests. He is supposed to be on night shift. They are not. The next morning, JL had done NONE of his work. Wow. And he still overslept. Their dinner on shore was disappointingly ridiculous. I was as ready as they were to have another land excursion.
So I am call caught up for tonight’s Below Deck Sailing recap. Update: I posted the before stuff from a much better place. I have tried to stop watching the news. Even as a young child I would ask why people watch the news and don’t cry. The news is always very sad. So I limited my news lately to just ABC with David Muir. And even then I sometimes just watch the first three minutes. But if you follow me on Twitter, you will see me going off tonight. I have a niece who was affected by a lifelong seizure disorder at age two and my father would vomit when she had one. I was vomiting earlier about more than one more police killing. My heart can’t take it some days. Sorry, it never gets easier to see.
Now Onto The Shit Show
Dani And JL are off to have sex. SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Ladies, make sure that thing is wrapped up for MULTIPLE reasons. AIDS is still a thing and there are numerous other STDs that make you infertile, and oh yeah, you might get knocked up! Sydney is ridiculous. She needs to buy a vowel and guess the puzzle. Colin is so hot. But as a married man he seems to find this all as annoying as we do. Is he eating black beans for breakfast? Captain Glenn mocks them all for being drunk. Dani and Jean Luc made a baby in the charter guest bed, allegedly.
The new guests include a “self proclaimed food critic.” But before they have a chance to deal with all that the weather and high winds become a problem! Jean Luc is of course a moron in this situation. Insert many jokes about Dani having tall babies here. Oh there is another night off this should be good. Lots of talk about Dani wanting to have babies. It seems like production already knows that Dani is pregnant. Maybe that is why she mentioned it before the show aired? Colin’s dog has an issue where he may need to be put down! 🙁
Country Comes To City
The guests arrive. They are obviously cast. I’m just saying. Meanwhile Jean Luc continues to think he is a charter guest. He calls his boss a short little Frodo. Jean Luc seems to think he is on vacation on a TV show. Jean Luc keeps being a moron. Dani already seems to be pregnant emotionally. She is very emotional. Natalie knocks her dinner out of the park.
While the guests keep having fun.. The one with the nose ring cuddles with Gary. Apparently that is Alli. For the life of me I cannot see what either girl would see in Gary. Meanwhile, Colin gets news his dog has passed. I can’t with this tonight. And right now some weird shit is happening in the hood. I do not like that my newest neighbors have not put up a fence behind their house. Sorry. Also sorry that Colin’s dog died. I cannot prepare enough for that moment. In other news, Jean Luc and Dani clearly hooked up a lot.
The Morning After
Colin mourns his dog and the rest of the crew mourn their laundry not getting done. Captain respectfully requests clean underwear. Meanwhile all is breaking loose in the hood. My new neighbors have no fence in the backyard. That is where the people who broke up in my house live. So… pray for me.