It’s Summer House recap time and I’m excited to hate Hannah and Des even more than last week. The gang is home from boat day. Everyone is drunk, especially Paige. Hannah and Des are still SO FUCKING GROSS. I just can’t with them. Kyle is my favorite when he drunkenly carb loads at 3am. It makes me feel seen. Lindsay agrees to be Stephen/Stravy’s girlfriend again. Ciara and Amanda discuss life after Summer House. Ciara misses nursing so she may return to Georgia. Amanda isn’t really doing wedding planning though she’s excited to marry Kyle. Luke ponders the whole Hannah/Des relationship. Despite being typically mild mannered Luke is wondering if Des is using Hannah because “she’s successful and he’s a washed up comedian”. Luke is not only pretty, he’s pretty observant as well.
Disgusting Derby Day Display
It’s Derby Day so the gang is going all out for it. Everyone dresses in their derby finest to gamble, eat, drink and watch the Kentucky Derby. . Lindsay wants to know why Des hasn’t made an effort to get to know anyone. He tries to connect with Carl, which turns into awkward small talk. Ciara’s horse won so she won 400.00! The losers (Amanda and Lindsay) must dress up in inflatable horse costumes and choose jokey’s (Paige and Ciara) to ride them. It’s pretty funny and one of the many reasons I love this show. I’m not sure anyone won but it was fun to watch.
The next morning, Paige talks to Perry over Facetime. He wants to whisk Paige away for six months which she is just not having. She wanted him to come for at least a dinner at the Summer House but he won’t. She doesn’t want to go to Miami to be with someone who won’t travel to the Hamptons for her. Good for you Paige! Lindsay discusses her new-again relationship with Stephen/Stravy. She WAY overshares about how they aren’t using protection and how Stephen/Stravy wants an engagement and babies. Luke wonders how she goes from being completely over Stephen/Stravy to wanting to be engaged to him. She doesn’t really answer him but she asks him to grab his ring sizers. Luke warns her that she’s moving too fast but agrees to give Stephen/Stravy her ring size.
It’s another beach day for our favorite summer babes. Everyone discusses how Hannah and Des have isolated themselves. Robert, Danielle’s new boyfriend, speaks up about how he loves seeing Danielle but also has enjoyed getting to know the housemates. Robert is so normal which highlights how not normal Des is. Paige feels that if Luke had wanted to date Hannah then Des wouldn’t be in the picture. Des goes home from the beach. His parting words to Kyle are that he hopes to be invited to his wedding. He said that only because Kyle uninvited Hannah during an argument. He’s such a passive aggressive, creepy douche kabob who I hope never comes on the screen again. He can take Hannah with him.
Amanda and Kyle discuss their future wedding. They’re in the best place they’ve been in which is nice to see. They do have their cute moments. Hannah and Luke talk about Des. Hannah asks Luke if he likes Des. He doesn’t and tells her that. Luke’s biggest gripe is that Hannah and Des isolated themselves from the house. He’s not wrong. Back at the house Hannah retells her conversation with Luke to the girls. Amanda agrees with Luke’s assessment. The girls backup Luke which baffles Hannah. She gets super defensive, because of course. The girls do a great job of not feeding into Hannah’s need for a fight. They stay calm and reiterate that it was weird that Hannah and Des isolated themselves from everyone. Hannah can’t handle the honesty so she gets up to leave. As she does whenever she’s wrong and can’t handle basic things like truth and accountability.
Next Week On Summer House…
It’s the FINALE??? WHAT??? I feel like we’ve just gotten started! The gang throws a pretend wedding for Kyle and Amanda. Stephen/Stravy and Lindsay fight which leads to Stephen/Stravy leaving the house. Again. Amanda asks Paige to be a bridesmaid in her real life wedding which angers Hannah. Hannah insinuates that Paige keeps her real feelings for Kyle from Amanda. Thank you all for reading, commenting and joining me on Twitter (PopCultureKelly)! I can’t believe this is almost over. Hopefully we get Winter House soon and our amazing Tamara let’s me recap it for y’all! Have a great week!