MAFS Recap: I Expected A Little Better

This MAFS recap comes at a time when all of the couples seem to be unraveling. Will any of these couples stay together? Have we ever had a season where everyone asks for a divorce? This season seems like it is never going to end because to some degree, it never even got started. Before I even hit play, I feel like the only couple that might stay together is Vincent and Briana. And I’m not very confident in that happening at this point. These horribly matched couples have less than two weeks to figure it all out.

Virginia & Erik

Erik takes Virginia to his childhood home to give her some more perspective on what is important to him. He shows her his medals and ribbons for his combat missions and she jokes that they are like Boy Scout patches. Virginia is way too immature to appreciate a guy like Erik. She seems to have no interest in things that matter to him. She randomly starts crying because he hasn’t met any of her family members or talked to them on the phone. Apparently, she talks to his family on the phone. Later, the calls her dad and talks to him about Virginia. He says she has trust issues. Virginia’s dad and Erik get along better than Erik and Virginia.

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Virginia takes Erik to shoot some hoops. She used to play basketball. The both seemed to enjoy that. She shows him more photos of her high school years. She wasn’t really with her parents during her senior year so she had to fend for herself. Erik wants her to rely on him. She responds with, “can I just want you rather than need you?” This doesn’t go over well. Later, Virginia gets together for drinks with Bridgett, Erik’s sister-in-law. Bridgett seems to get Erik’s stance on Virginia going out all the time with friends. She realizes that Erik is not Virginia’s top priority. Once again, Virginia is clueless about how the person she is talking to feels. And, she doesn’t really listen to what they are saying.

Briana & Vincent

Briana tries to show Vincent her dance moves. She quite dancing to get a better job as an engineer. Briana was affected by colorism when she was young. Dance helped her through those times. Briana is talking about children. I thought she didn’t think she could have kids for medical reasons. Then she says kids are a long way in the future. Vincent is not happy with that.

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Dr. Pepper stops by to provide more counseling. Briana doesn’t seem to understand that she needs to compromise over Vincent’s sleep schedule. It seems like she wants to dictate when he can sleep. Nothing was resolved, but Dr. Pepper seems to feel like it was. Vincent wants to do more research on Briana’s blood pressure issues and the dangers during pregnancy. Dr. Pepper suggests adoption. Vincent doesn’t seem like an option for Vincent. Dr. Pepper sucks at this. There. I said it. I’m trying to get my own blood pressure down after seven hours of FINALLY FINISHING MY TAXES and driving to the post office for stamps. People were crammed into the PO like sardines. #Anxiety. At least it is over.

Later they go shopping at a Dominican bodega/restaurant. Vincent feels at home there. He talks to Briana about growing up in the Dominican Republic. He says you are either rich or poor there. There is no in between. He had a hard life. He didn’t really grow up with family. Instead he was by himself. I hope she gets that this is the root of his strong desire for kids and to be prudent with money. He wants to be a father and a provider.

Ryan & Clara

Ryan goes to Clara’s mother’s house. He talks Clara’s mom about wanting to raise kids in the church. Clara’s mom said she didn’t even go to church until she had kids. She thinks Clara may change once she has kids of her own. I do not. Clara seems to be lacking the values people who learn being raised in the church. Ryan and Clara got for dinner at her parents house. She shows him all her high school keepsakes. Her mom loves Ryan. Her mom says everyday is decision day in a marriage. You have to make the decision to stay married every day.

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Dr. Pepper stops by to help these two out. I have no faith in her. She goes straight to sex. These two always put on an act that they are just fine. But, they are not. The conversation never changes. Ryan just flashes a smile and agrees with everything. It’s awkward. They write letters to their younger selves. Her letter was to her thirteen-year-old self. It was emotional about her need to be loved and how loving someone can be great but sometimes it is painful. Ryan seems a bit shocked by the rawness. His letter says that he would not change a thing about his past. He says don’t be afraid of failure, it makes you wiser. It was not the emotional thing Clara expected it. She needs to manage her expectations. He’s not an outwardly emotional guy.

Haley & Jacob

Everything is a competition with these two, and it never a friendly one. Jacob doesn’t hit well and Haley mocks him. Then, she makes fun of him for wearing leather shoes rather than sneakers. Haley tells stories about her obstinate behavior when she was four. She has not grown much. I find Jacob more attractive with each episode. It’s sad that Haley doesn’t. Oh it looks like Jacob bails on the couples retreat next week. Good for him.

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Later the go play putt putt. Jacob shows some photos that she makes fun of. Then she sucks at putt putt. Jacob gets a lot of holes in one. She’s a poor sport. Later, all the couples have to write a letter to their younger self. This is always enlightening. Jacob’s was super short. He wrote about embracing adversity, change and failure because that is when you are at your best. She wrote about not expecting relationships to last forever and listening to her mother. Jacob asks her what she would tell herself before getting married. She says probably just calm down you don’t know what is coming for you. She asks him the same question and he says, “Probably, return the bracelet.”  Huh?

Is It Me Or Does Dr. Pepper Make Everything Worse?

He gave her an $800 bracelet to wear down the aisle and her mom took it home with her. She never even tried it on. She gave him a baseball cap from her college team. He never wore that either. They both have huge resentments over these issues. Jacob seems really hurt.

So, Dr. Pepper arrives to bring up the meat of this couples issues. Haley’s one big question is why doesn’t Jacob ever wear sneakers. Seriously. I am not making this up. Dr. Pepper seems to understand Jacob’s point about the bracelet at least. She hurt his feelings. Haley has no empathy or regret for hurting Jacob.  He felt rejected. She didn’t show any appreciation for it at all. She still isn’t. Later, she calls her mom and tells her to send the bracelet so she can return it to him. She and her mother bitch about how tacky he is for even bringing it up. Clearly, her mother didn’t raise her to consider other people’s feelings and this is why she has been alone for seven years prior to the experiment. He also gave her the hat back. I hate these people.

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Let’s see what Dr. Pepper does to Erik and Virginia. At least she sees how they both tend to sweep things under the rug. Virginia doesn’t think marriages require any sort of commitments or compromises above and beyond, “no cheating.” Dr. Pepper wants of each of them to write down their goals for the marriage and the corresponding behaviors necessary to reach those goals. Virginia is not goal oriented. She just wants to do what she wants when she wants and see what happens. She is right back on spending the night at her guy friends house when he is out of town. Virginia doesn’t believe in basic standards of marriage. She just said it outloud. He needs to cut bait and fish in another pond with ADULTS. She has the mental age of a 12 year old.

Next week: It is a couples retreat to Hilton Head. It looks like everything goes to shit.